


2020

by aida_in_love



Category: Glee
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Politics, Angst, Apologies, Arguing, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Blackmail, Boypussy Kurt, Breathplay, Butt Slapping, Depression, Dom/sub, Dubious Consent, Electricity, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Face Slapping, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forced Kiss, Freedom, Freedom Fighters, Gaslighting, Gay Bashing, Happy Ending, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Lack of Communication, Licking, M/M, Misunderstandings, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Touching, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Not Klaine Friendly, Orgasm, Ownership, Past Abuse, Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Past Brainwashing, Past Character Death, Past Gaslighting, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Penis In Vagina Sex, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Punishment, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Regret, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Sex, Sexual Slavery, Slavery, Spanking, Triggers, Vaginal Fingering, Verbal Humiliation, Violence, Whipping, end of slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-17 00:45:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 64,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2290781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aida_in_love/pseuds/aida_in_love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The year is 2020.<br/>The government decided to enslave every boy with a boypussy. These victims are called 'toys' by the society and have no human rights anymore. Although there have been a few uprisings by parts of the population is the mainstream keen on the situation and all the toy auctions.<br/>Unfortunately is Kurt Hummel one of these people and Sebastian Smythe purchases him. Living with Sebastian is strange and not what Kurt had expected.<br/>Not at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So enjoy my new story :)
> 
> Sorry for the errors.

Kurt had given up to rattle at the ropes around his wrists or the spreader bar at his ankles that forced him to expose his pussy to the audience. He just cried silently while he sat naked on the stage and looked on the ground, his hands behind his back knotted at a hook that was firmly anchored to the ground. Along with him were 9 other people bounded next to him. Most of them cried as well.

"This toy is 26 years old, former singer, has a perfect body as you can see, brown hair, blue eyes and _it_ sadly has a gag reflex but a pretty face," a voice said and Kurt shivered, knowing they were talking about him.

Someone whipped his back and Kurt cried in pain while he felt how a part of his heart broke.

"Look up, toy," another voice said and Kurt lifted his head to look in the audience.

It was horrible.

Men and women were standing there, smiled, laughed and looked him over as if he was a piece of meat.

 

"The starting offer for this toy is 50 000$."

A big, old man raised his hand and the auctioneer said: "60 000 for the man in the corner."

Kurt sobbed and slipped his eyes shut. He tried to persuade himself that this wasn't happening. That he would wake up and be in New York again. That he could walk on the street without having to show his pass the patrol every few minutes.

"70 000 for the pretty Lady over there – 80 000 for the gentlemen here – 90 000 ..."

Kurt bit down his lower lip and felt the need to press his legs together. He still couldn't believe there were people who wanted to 'buy' him and that they could do anything with him what they wanted, without anyone trying to protect Kurt.

What had he done wrong to deserve this hell?

 

"Yes, is there a remark by the handsome gentlemen in the dark blue jacket?", the auctioneer asked.

"I'm ready to pay 200 000$ for _him_ ," a familiar voice said and Kurt opened his eyes, checking whether his mind tried to fool him. But there was actually Sebastian Smythe standing between all the crazy people, smiling at Kurt when he saw that he was looking up. Kurt blushed and lowered his head immediately. He tried to press his legs together as firmly as he could, but it was no use. It was so embarrassing knowing that Sebastian saw him like that. Bad enough that there were all these people wanting to abuse Kurt, but it was worse because Sebastian was someone he knew.

 

"That's awesome, do I get 210 000?"

The thick man raised his hand once more. He and Sebastian had something like a competition now, since no one else wanted to spend so much money. The man gave up on 300 000$ so Sebastian purchased Kurt Hummel.

 

Kurt didn't know what to think, how to feel. He had always hated Sebastian since he had tried to get Blaine years ago, but he hoped that Sebastian was just trying to be nice and save him, let him free ...

 

They removed the bar around Kurt's ankles, pulled him up and pushed him down the stage, to bring him to his owner. The way to Sebastian was horrible, everywhere were hands and touched him, pinched and slapped him. They knew that they weren't allowed to touch him when the toy had a collar so they grabbed the chance to touch Kurt just one time before he was officially the property of the man.

Sebastian had already received Kurt's ID card, his title deed and a free stun gun when Kurt arrived. The men handed Sebastian a collar over.

"The collar is the last step to mark your possession, Sir," one said and Kurt didn't do anything when he felt how Sebastian put the leather band around his neck. He just stared at his feet and heard how the next auction took its place.

"Enjoy the toy, Sir!", the other guy said and then they went away.

 

Kurt held his breath and wished his wrists weren't bounded so that he could cover his crotch. He felt so dizzy and asked himself what Sebastian was up to.

Would he be nice?

Or would he try to hurt him?

Without a word, Sebastian took his jacket off and put it around Kurt's shoulders. It didn't cover Kurt's crotch, but his shoulders, back and his butt. This kind of affection made Kurt weak so he started to sob like had never done before and leaned forward while he pressed his head against Sebastian's shoulders, longing for some protection.

"Sebastian," he sniveled, "I-I never thought I'd be so happy to see your meerkat face again."

Sebastian didn't respond to Kurt's touch and sighed.

"It seems like you don't get what just happened," he said, took Kurt at his shoulders and pushed him away so that he could look in his face.

Kurt's eyes widened when he realized that Sebastian didn't buy him to rescue him, but to own him.

"Y-you don't really – you didn't do that to mock and torture me until this silly society becomes normal again, right?", he asked and looked at the documents and taser in Sebastian's right hand.

"Well, I'm not sure what I will do with you," Sebastian admitted and took his hands away. "I just came here to watch ... and when I saw you – I waited for a while because I thought your fiancé would buy you."

Kurt tensed up and fought back his tears. He was definitely not in the mood to talk about Blaine.

"We're not together anymore ..."

"Did he cheat on you again?", Sebastian asked, an amused smile on his face. But it faded away when Kurt's eyes turned into a dark sadness.

"No? Kurt!", he complained, "You should've never got back together!"

"I don't want to talk about it. And don't want to be here for one more minute."

"Hmm," Sebastian mumbled and crossed his arms while he looked down to Kurt's pussy. Kurt realised that, blushed, turned around and tried to walk away, but Sebastian gripped his arms and pushed him against the next wall.

"Don't you dare to walk away," he hissed. "You're my possession now and you will obey."

Kurt swallowed and stared at the ceiling.

This was a nightmare.

A never-ending nightmare.

 

"I kinda wish someone else would've had more money than you," he whispered, trying to regain at least a part of his dignity.

"Oh, okay," Sebastian meant, gripped Kurt at his collar and pulled him closer to the middle of the big room where all the people stood. "Look at that fat man who can't stop looking at you."

Kurt gulped when he saw him. He had been the one with the first offer and he seemed to be very awkward.

"I can bring you back on the stage, withdraw my offer and he would buy you. Do you think you would survive a rape or would his weight break all your ribs? It's your decision whether you want to be his slave or mine."

"W-why do you hate me?", Kurt asked and Sebastian raised his brows.

"That's what you think?"

"It's obvious."

Sebastian left hold of Kurt's collar and licked his lips.

"Let's talk about that when we're home."

"You're mad when you think I would go home with you," Kurt meant and walked away again.

 

He choked when Sebastian tugged at his collar and made him stop.

"Don't force me to hurt you, Kurt," he whispered into his ear and Kurt shivered.

Sebastian turned Kurt around and held his collar with one and his documents and taser with the other.

"I didn't make these rules. I didn't say that you're not a human because there is something between your legs that doesn't belong there," Sebastian said and stared intimidatingly in Kurt's eyes, "and I didn't kidnap you and brought you here, did I?"

"N-no," Kurt answered and lowered his head.

"No. I am the one, the only one who cares enough about you to buy you. Or where are all your friends? Or your dad? Why aren't they here? Why didn't they try to purchase you?"

"T-they just seized me yesterday evening ... They don't know yet, I guess .. But it's a coincidence that you're here." Kurt looked up again and kneaded his fingers. "So don't assert you would care about me. You didn't come here for me, but because you are just as weird as the rest of the people here!"

Suddenly there was an electric spark on Kurt's knee pits and he sank down on the floor, in front of Sebastian who was just as surprised as him and looked angrily at the woman with the taser in her hand.

"What the fuck are you doing with my toy?", he yelled at her and her polite smile faded away.

"Oh, I'm sorry I was thinking-"

"I don't care what you were thinking. Touch again what you can't afford and I'm gonna use that thing on you!"

The woman rolled her eyes, but left and Sebastian knelt down to Kurt, his hand carefully stroking his tear-stained cheek.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," he meant compassionately, but thought that this situation was a great example of what happened when Kurt disobeyed. "You see what happens when you talk to me like that. I'm your owner and you should get used to it. And now get up," he said, stood up and reached out his hand to help Kurt up.

Kurt furrowed his brow and thought about how to escape this situation.

"Get up!", he repeated, but Kurt didn't move.

"You like to be hurt?"

"Of course not," Kurt whispered.

"Then follow one simple rule. Do what your Master says."

Kurt couldn't help – he laughed. Sebastian calling himself Master was just ridiculous.

 

The hit wasn't that rough, but Kurt hadn't expected Sebastian to slap his face, that was why he bit his lips bloody.

"You forced me to hurt you," Sebastian said while a shiver ran down Kurt's spine. It really seemed like he was at Sebastian's mercy and no one wanted to help. No one really cared. They all just wanted to have a _toy_ , a personal slave.

"I will give you an order and you will obey. If you disobey, I have to punish you. It's as simple as that. And never laugh at me again. Do you stand up now?"

Kurt licked his bloody lips and took a deep breath.

"You should fuck it hard. It asks for it," an old man who was suddenly standing there said. Sebastian got angry about all these people who behaved like they were in charge. He decided to ignore him and pulled Kurt up.

"P-please don't rape me," Kurt sobbed and looked to Sebastian with pleading eyes. Sebastian wiped off Kurt's tears and Kurt relaxed a bit when he stared into the warm, green eyes.

"I won't rape you. I won't fuck you unless you beg for it," he replied with a smug grin and Kurt raised one brow.

"T-that will never happen."

"We'll see about that," Sebastian laughed. "And now come home with me, we can talk there."

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Okay."

 

He let Sebastian guide him out of the auction house and into his car. Sebastian seated Kurt on the front passenger seat and was pretty pensive during the whole car trip.

Kurt could tell. He watched him.

He didn't know what Sebastian had done the past years and he hated himself that he even cared. He hated himself that he had a pussy instead of a penis and he hated the world that this made even a difference.

 

"So Smythe," Kurt started to break the silence, "don't you have any other hobbies instead of attending inhuman auctions and get hard when people cry?"

Sebastian laughed and shook his head.

"I kinda missed your bitchy behavior."

"I don't have a bitchy behavior!", Kurt insisted.

"Well, if you're not bitchy you're dumb. Or have you forgotten that I can do to you whatever I want and no one would judge me?" He glanced at Kurt who averted his gaze.

"I'm neither bitchy nor dumb. I'm just a normal human being who wants human rights."

 

Sebastian didn't react to what Kurt had said. Luckily they arrived before the silence was going to kill both of them.

"That's my house," Sebastian meant proudly and helped Kurt out of the car. Kurt stared at the big, beautiful white house.

 

Sebastian pushed Kurt inside and laid his documents and the taser on a table in the entrance hall. Kurt admired the marble floor and looked further around, but he winced when he felt a hand on his butt.

"Don't touch me there you ugly pig!", he yelled, but Sebastian held him at his bounded wrists and slapped his ass three times while Kurt squirmed and writhed.

"I hate you!", Kurt hissed and received three more hits for saying that.

He panted with rage, but stayed still this time.

With a smile Sebastian pulled the jacket away from Kurt's shoulders.

"S-Sebastian, please," Kurt breathed and bent his upper body away from him. Sebastian swallowed and watched how Kurt's muscles on his back moved.

"You're beautiful," he said and Kurt blushed again. "I mean it."

Sebastian laid his left palm on the red wounded butt and pressed slightly. Kurt pushed his hips away, but Sebastian took his hand from Kurt's wrists and placed it on his collar where he pulled him close against his body.

Kurt tensed up and waited for Sebastian to do anything, but he just pressed his nose in his hair and inhaled his scent, smiling contentedly. Kurt didn't even try to free himself when Sebastian held him like this. Sure, he was humiliated, angry and a part of him wanted to spit at Sebastian, but he had called him beautiful.

Kurt couldn't remember the last time someone had called him like that.

 

"I-I didn't even know you're that rich," Kurt mumbled nervously, trying to distract himself from the weird position.

"I'm a lucky guy," Sebastian said and digged his nails into Kurt's butt, making the boy wince.

"I could've spent millions to buy you," he meant and grinned, "but I didn't want you to pride yourself on that."

Kurt's emotions changed immediately from gratefulness into the usual despite he felt every time when he thought about Sebastian Smythe.

"Speaking of pride," Sebastian tilted his head and whispered into Kurt's ear, "from now an I'm gonna call you cunt."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt is kinda recalcitrant ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a timeline with fic-relevant dates:
> 
> 2016 – Kurt's first broadway show  
> 2017 – Klaine break-up  
> 2018 – first public demonstrations and discriminations of people with a boypussy  
> 2019 – all new-born childs with a boypussy get a special pass, all adults have to go to investigations and these who have a boypussy get a special pass as well  
> late 2019 – Kurt's show gets cancelled because no person with such a pass is allowed to work  
> 4/01/2020 – The 'toy-law' gets established –> divestment of human rights  
> 6/25/2020 – Sebastian Smythe purchases Kurt Hummel
> 
> * to be extended
> 
> enjoy the chapter .... it's pretty large! So sorry for any errors

 

 

"Fine, meerkat-visage. But then I'm gonna call you Timon," Kurt hissed and was able to turn around, but Sebastian still held his collar and grinned at his blushed face.

"If I'm Timon you're my Pumbaa. And you know that Timon loves to ride Pumbaa," Sebastian replied and watched how Kurt's lips started to quiver.

"T-try to touch me and you're dead."

Sebastian raised his left hand and slapped Kurt's ass.

"Well, I'm still alive."

Kurt winced, tried to free himself, but Sebastian's grip at his collar was too strong so he just spit in his face.

"Fuck you!"

Sebastian sighed and slapped Kurt's face.

"Just obey, Cunt. It's not that difficult," he meant and whisked his saliva off.

Kurt closed his eyes, causing the tears that he tried to hold back rolling down his face. He felt so dizzy and horrible. There was no way he could ever accept that Sebastian Smythe had bought him and was now allowed to call him _cunt_ and hit him.

"Don't call me like that, you asshole," Kurt whispered and earned another hit.

"Stop pushing me, Cunt!", Sebastian said with a calm voice. And the fact that he was so calm made Kurt just more furious. But he stayed silent for his own sake.

"Good cunt," Sebastian praised and Kurt started to sob and shiver.

"I'm gonna remove your ropes and you can look around while I will check whether I have something to eat. You must be hungry."

Kurt opened his eyes and nodded hesitantly, not looking to his owner.

"But before I do that," Sebastian started, released Kurt, locked the front door and put the key in his pocket, "I want you to call me Sir and ask me to remove them."

 

Kurt pressed his lips together and lifted his head, trying to forget that he was naked and had a fucking collar around his throat, like a dog.

"Why would I do that?"

"Well, if you enjoy having your wrists being tied together-"

"I do not."

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders and passed Kurt, walking away.

"Hey, wait! Where are you going?", Kurt asked and followed him reluctantly. "Stop, where-"

Kurt found himself in a beautiful big kitchen and was suddenly so much aware of his nudity that he blushed. He stared intently at Sebastian, but this one seemed to ignore him while he opened the fridge and searched something to eat.

"Sebastian, remove the ropes ... please."

The man with the green eyes didn't even listen.

"Sebastian!", Kurt yelled and he finally looked at him.

"Is Cunt talking to me?"

Kurt lowered his head and tried to think about something beautiful. He tried to think about the good old times at McKinley where he got respected. He tried to think about his career as a singer, but all these images vanished when Sebastian continued with talking.

"Cunt, I asked you something," he meant and stood now directly in front of Kurt.

"I-I was talking to you," Kurt replied with a wobbly voice.

"I didn't hear you addressing me correctly."

"Please, Sir, release my wrists," he whispered and Sebastian bent over to him while he smiled.

"What was that?"

"Screw you," he hissed, not wanting to repeat himself and felt another slap on his butt.

"Gosh, Cunt. You're exhausting," Sebastian said and turned around again.

"No, please," Kurt begged and walked to his Master. "I didn't mean it. Just remove them ... please, Sir."

 

Sebastian surveyed Kurt from top to bottom and allowed his eyes to stay between Kurt's legs a little longer. Kurt bit his lips and blinked back his tears, trying to stay calm and strong.

"I think I'll be merciful ... again," he said, turned Kurt around and stroked his way from Kurt's arms down to his wrists. He took a deep breath when he held Kurt's wrists and felt his tenseness and just looked at his back and butt for a moment.

"Sir?", Kurt asked with a high-pitched voice, feeling extremely nervous and afraid that he might have changed his mind.

Sebastian didn't say anything, but just started to remove the knots around Kurt's wrists that were so firm that they left marks on Kurt's white skin.

Kurt took his hands immediately out of Sebastian's grip when he had removed them and covered his crotch.

"What does the cunt say?", Sebastian asked and planted a kiss on Kurt's shoulder.

"What about 'go to hell'?"

Sebastian grunted, gripped Kurt at his collar and pulled him back. Kurt gagged and fell with a scream on the floor. Before he could even realize what was happening, Sebastian sat on his stomach and pressed his aching wrists on the floor. Kurt stared with big eyes at him and tried to control his breath.

"I really hate to hurt you, but when you allow yourself to talk to me like that just one more time I will spank your ass so hard that you won't be able to sit for a week," Sebastian said forcefully and liked the way tears ran down Kurt's temples.

This meant that he finally understood what was happening.

"Go now. Check your new home out," he demanded and stood up. Kurt pressed his legs together and tried not to sob.

"Now!"

He stood up, pressed one hand on his mouth and one of his crotch and left the kitchen.

 

Kurt walked around in the big, beautiful house. It was kinda luxurious and he hated that everything was nicely done up and exactly how he would have done it.

Downstairs was a bathroom, the kitchen and a really big living room.The bedroom, another bathroom and one more room were upstairs.

 

Kurt was relieved when he arrived Sebastian's bedroom. He had no need to wear something that belonged to this asshole, but he didn't want to be naked, so he just slipped into boxer shorts, a jeans and a simple shirt which he had found in the wardrobe.

He felt a deep disgust when he looked at Sebastian's bed and imagined Sebastian forcing him onto it and sliding his dirty fingers all over his body. But he hoped that such a thing would never happen, since he was not even Sebastian's type. Sebastian always wanted to bang Blaine and not him. But why would Sebastian grip his butt and call him beautiful?

 

When Kurt walked downstairs again, fully dressed, he went into the living room to a window and opened it. He asked himself whether it was safe to jump out into the garden and how far he would come without Sebastian catching up to him.

"Don't even think about it, Cunt," Sebastian suddenly said and Kurt turned around, "you saw that there is this large fence along with a hedge all around the house. You would run around in the garden and it would be funny because there is no place to hide so I would catch you and maybe rape you after all."

"Y-you said you wouldn't do that," Kurt mumbled and shoved his hands in his pockets, holding Sebastian's gaze.

"To be honest, I'm not sure anymore since I saw you wearing my clothes without asking."

Kurt swallowed nervously.

"W-well they took my clothes ... what am I supposed to wear?", he asked and put his hands on his hips. He felt much more confident when he was dressed and a part of him knew that Sebastian would never really rape him.

He hoped so.

"Nothing Cunt," Sebastian remarked and Kurt started to sweat when Sebastian came closer, "I like you naked."

Kurt didn't dare to move a muscle and stared into the distance when Sebastian pressed his body against his and laid a hand on his back. Kurt expected Sebastian to rip his clothes off, but he didn't. He just kissed Kurt's neck lightly, almost gently and hugged him then.

 

Although Kurt hated when Sebastian hit him, he felt kinda safe when Sebastian was violent. When Sebastian was like that, Kurt knew what was going on in his mind and he could collect all the hate in his heart and that made him strong.

But he had no clue what Sebastian was thinking when he did things like that, when he was gentle or called him beautiful.

It confused Kurt.

And that made him weak.

He hated to be weak.

 

"S-Sebastian?"

"How do you call me, Cunt?", Sebastian whispered and squeezed Kurt's back a bit tighter.

"S-Sir."

"Good cunt."

Kurt started to sob and Sebastian moved his hands over Kurt's back in soothing circles.

"Shh, it's okay. I praised you."

Kurt could only think about how sick this whole situation was. How sick the world was and he wanted to die.

Or go home to Ney York.

He hated himself for crying like a baby but there was no use. He felt so little, so broken and alone.

"Please let me free," he sobbed and pressed his forehead against Sebastian's shoulders while his arms still hung from his body without responding to Sebastian's touch.

"Don't you get it? It's not safe out there. Not for someone like you. How could you even survive the past three months without getting caught?"

"T-there was always the same patrol in Bushwick, two men a-and they h-helped me ... sometimes."

"You sucked their dicks?", Sebastian asked and ended the embrace. Kurt stared at the ground, but Sebastian lifted his chin and scrutinized his tensed face.

"You really sucked their dicks!", he ascertained. "My Cunt's a little slut, huh?"

"I'm not a slut," Kurt corrected and slapped Sebastian's hand away from his chin. "I would do anything to be free and that doesn't mean I'm a slut."

"Did you let them fuck you as well?"

"N-no," Kurt whispered and tried to forget how odd it was that even he had to talk about something like that with Sebastian Smythe, "it was just giving blow jobs."

"And Blaine didn't care about you since they established the law?"

"That's none of your fucking business!", Kurt yelled and bit his lips when he realized how harshly he had said that. "I-I'm sorry, Sir," he mumbled, but it was too late. Sebastian was pissed and opened Kurt's belt.

"No, please, Sir, don't-"

Sebastian slid his left hand under the boxer shorts Kurt was wearing and gripped between his legs. Kurt tried to bend away, laid his hands on Sebastian's chest and hit him, but Sebastian used his right hand to grip Kurt's collar at his neck and pulled at it, pressing Kurt's head against the wall. Kurt wasn't able to breathe when he struggled like that and so he tried to relax, tried to fill his lungs with air, while Sebastian sucked his earlobe and stroked his pussy.

"L-let me be, please," Kurt begged and cried, but Sebastian gripped roughly at his collar and Kurt gagged. He rubbed his pussy harder and watched how Kurt stared at the ceiling with wide eyes. His face was tear-stained, blushed with shame and his body tensed while his lower body still tried to get away from Sebastian's hot hand.

Kurt needed a while to realise that Sebastian had left hold of his collar and held his waist now instead, watching his hand moving under the jeans. Kurt tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach and leaned to the side, but Sebastian pressed himself against Kurt to pin him down and continued with stroking his pussy. The situation got weird when Sebastian kissed Kurt's lips and even weirder when Kurt stopped fighting. His mind yelled at him that he should try to get away, that he should hit Sebastian, but his lips felt so good, so smooth and hot.

 

Kurt moaned and gripped his shirt when Sebastian pushed one finger in and twisted it around.

"My Cunt's cunt is wet," he laughed and Kurt wanted to melt into thin air, more tears rolling down his face.

"T-this doesn't mean anything," Kurt mumbled weakly.

Sebastian took a step back and pulled his finger out. He stared at Kurt and tilted his head with a grin.

"This means everything," he said and blinked at Kurt shortly before he turned around and left.

"I'm gonna fetch the pizza out of the oven and I want you to be naked when I'm back."

 

Kurt sobbed, closed his belt again and sank down on his knees, feeling more broken than ever before. His own body had betrayed him. His cheeks were flushed, his pussy was wet and that his body had reacted to Sebastian's touch like that had been more humiliating than being called _cunt_ or receiving slaps on his ass.

 

Kurt was still sitting there, his legs tugged and his arms around them when Sebastian walked into the living room, a pizza on a plate.

"Cunt?", he asked warningly and Kurt pressed his lips together while he pulled his shirt off. Sebastian smiled and sat down when he watched how Kurt stripped.

"The underwear as well," he insisted and Kurt swallowed, but obeyed and pulled the shorts down. At least could he cover himself now and walked over to the couch and sat down next to Sebastian.

 

"Oh, I forgot something," Sebastian said and went away. Kurt shoved one hand between his legs and the other on his stomach. The pizza smelled so good and he was so hungry, but he didn't dare to move.

"Look what I found," Sebastian said smugly and showed Kurt the stun gun. Kurt turned pale and felt how his stomach started to ache.

"I-I didn't do anything wrong," Kurt started and couldn't avert his gaze from the weapon that Sebastian put on the table.

"I don't plan to use it, but just in case ..."

Sebastian took a piece of pizza and Kurt licked his lips.

"S-Sir?"

"Yes, Cunt?"

Kurt clenched two fists.

"I'm so thirsty."

"From all these cocks you sucked?", Sebastian asked with a grin and Kurt glared at him without giving a response so Sebastian stood up and fetched a water bottle and two glasses from the kitchen.

 

Kurt wanted to grip one glass when he was back, but Sebastian shoved it away, making Kurt sigh.

"Don't worry. I'll let you drink. But I feel like you should earn such a reward, but, thus far, all you've done is being bitchy and getting wet."

Kurt blushed again thinking about that he actually got wet from Sebastian's hand.

He couldn't imagine anything worse.

"And what do you want me to do, Sir?", Kurt emphasized the 'Sir', making it sound sarcastic.

"I'm gonna ask you a few questions and you will answer honestly."

Kurt stared at the water bottle and nodded.

"If that's all."

"So, Cunt." Kurt tensed up. "Since when are you and Blaine broken up again?"

Kurt rolled his eyes about the question.

"Since three years."

"Address me properly or I'm gonna use the taser on you."

"Since three years, Sir," Kurt meant reluctantly. "Didn't he tell you?"

"You think we're best friends or what?"

"Not 'best' friends but ..."

"I haven't talked with your ex since he moved to New York."

Kurt's eyes widened. When Blaine was living with him in the loft he was often away over the night, saying he would meet his friend Sebastian.

"Don't tell me he used me as an excuse to cheat on you?", Sebastian asked solicitously when he saw the tears in Kurt's eyes.

"That doesn't matter anymore ..."

"Okay," Sebastian agreed and filled one glass with water.

 

"Say, Cunt, why have you never replied to the flowers?", Sebastian asked, his head low and his fingers playing with the glass.

Kurt furrowed his brow and shook his head, confused about the question.

"Asides from the fact that I have no idea how I would 'reply' to flowers, I have no clue what you're talking about."

Sebastian raised his head and looked to Kurt who seemed to be honest.

"The message in the flowers?", Sebastian tried to help Kurt along. "The premiere of your show?"

"Do you mean you sent me flowers?", Kurt laughed superciliously.

Sebastian took the taser and put it on Kurt's thigh. Kurt cried and winced when the electric sting jumped through his body.

"I told you to never laugh at me again," Sebastian whispered and Kurt puckered his brows, blinking back his tears.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said and was honest about it. "Sir," he added and looked Sebastian over. His cheeks seemed to be actually a bit flushed and his face was as pensive as when they were driving home this afternoon.

"I-I still don't know what you're talking about, Sir."

"There is no need to talk about something that we can't change."

"I didn't see any flowers from you-"

"Shut up, Cunt," Sebastian hissed and gave him the glass with water. Kurt gripped it thankfully and drank. It had been hours since he had drunken anything and he felt like this water was the best thing that ever happened to him. When the joy of being refreshed vanished he realized again how pensive, almost sad Sebastian seemed to be.

"Eat something," Sebastian mumbled, chewing pizza. Kurt took a piece, but his eyes never left Sebastian's face.

"What are you staring at?", he asked after a while and Kurt just shook his head and lowered his gaze.

"Nothing, Sir."

"Nothing has to be pretty interesting."

Kurt licked his lips and swallowed the pizza in his mouth.

"I just – So you've been there? At the premiere?" His blue eyes looked amazed at Sebastian.

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Why?"

"I was around and it was a coincidence that I saw the poster ... I was bored so I thought I could watch it to mock you later," Sebastian lied and put his piece of pizza away.

"And it was a coincidence that you had flowers with you as well?"

Sebastian took a deep breath and didn't reply.

"What kind of flowers did you send me?"

"Roses," Sebastian answered although he had no clue why he answered Kurt at all.

"Red or yellow roses?"

"You don't ask the questions, Cunt."

"Just this one."

"It doesn't matter."

"I want to know which color the flo-"

"But I don't want to tell you," Sebastian hissed.

"Yeah well. I told you things I didn't want to tell too. I let you hit and touch me and you refuse to answer such an easy question. It seems to me that you weren't there and you neither sent roses."

Sebastian put the taser on Kurt's crotch and although Kurt had his hand there, Sebastian could somehow reach his clit by accident and Kurt dropped the pizza, collapsed forward and almost hit his head on the table, but Sebastian pulled him in his arms.

 

The pain was unbelievable. Kurt's whole crotch felt like it was numb.

"Don't question me, Cunt," Sebastian meant and stroked Kurt's trembling back. "I'm your owner. You're my slave. And I won't accept this disrespectful behavior anymore."

Kurt couldn't stop crying. He wanted to be home. He wanted to see his dad.

"I-I-I didn't even mean to be disrespectful," Kurt whimpered and pushed himself out of Sebastian's lap. He rubbed his eyes and pressed both hands on his aching pussy.

"I'm sure I won't hurt you again if you make an effort to be good," Sebastian assured and stroked through Kurt's hair.

"Eat, Cunt," he said and pointed to the pizza, but Kurt sobbed more.

"I'm not hungry anymore, Sir ... b-but if you want me to eat, I won't disobey-"

"No. it's fine. I'm tired as well."

 

Just when Kurt stood in front of Sebastian's bed, in his bedroom, he realized what was going on.

He felt sick, cold and tired and winced when Sebastian laid one hand on his waist from behind.

"Are you afraid, Cunt?"

Kurt bit his lips and strengthened the grip around his pussy.

"I-I'm ... May I sleep downstairs? On the couch, Sir? Please?", he asked, his voice barely a whisper and Sebastian smiled about his nervousness.

How often had he wanted to have Kurt like this?

"We haven't seen each other for such a long time," Sebastian meant and kissed Kurt's neck, making him shiver, "we need to catch up on some things."

Kurt turned himself quickly around and looked at Sebastian with wide eyes.

"P-please, let me sleep on the couch," he begged, "Sir ..."

Sebastian just grinned and pushed Kurt on his bed. Kurt pressed his legs together and crawled backwards, away from Sebastian, who bent over him.

"S-Sebastian, don't," Kurt mumbled when Sebastian digged his fingers into Kurt's hair.

"That's not how you call me, Cunt," he meant harshly and tugged at the hair in his fist.

"I'm sorry, Sir," Kurt yelled, but cried when Sebastian kissed his forehead.

"Stop kissing me, you bastard!", Kurt screamed without thinking about what he was doing. He just felt so little and humiliated that he just had to bitch back.

 

Sebastian released his hair and Kurt pressed his body further behind, against the head of the bed. He tugged his legs and stared at Sebastian, trying to find out what he was thinking, but he was silent, his face cold and expressionless.

"I didn't plan to buy a slave," Sebastian started and leaned over, fetching something from under the bed, "but I bought you because I care about you. Because I didn't want any horrible person hurting you ... I brought you into my house and you are a bitch non-stop."

He lifted a box and put it on the bed while Kurt's heart started to race. If he jumped up now would he pass Sebastian and reach the door? Could he run downstairs and climb out of a window? But there was no escape out of the garden ...

"I'm good to you. Better than any of these pigs would treat you. And if you can't see that, you're stupid."

"I'm not stupid," Kurt muttered and puckered his brows when Sebastian opened the box.

"The taser is not here, but I'm sure my little collection can help us as well," Sebastian whispered and showed Kurt a clamp.

"I really like these," he said and smiled viciously, "they hurt so much."

"P-please don't hurt me!", Kurt begged and sobbed. "I'm ... I'm really sorry, Sir."

"No, you're not sorry. You don't even know why you should apologize, right?"

Kurt pressed his lips together and took a deep breath.

"Well, I-"

"I give you five minutes," he meant, laid the clamp on the bed, took a paddle out of the box and put it next to it, "I want you to think about what you did wrong and choose your punishment."

"A punishment?"

"I'm gonna either spank your ass or use these clamps on you. On your nipples, clit and folds."

He stood up and left the bedroom.

 

Kurt bent to the box and caught a sight of the lube, dildos, cock rings and a whip. He couldn't stop crying when he sat there and couldn't escape this nightmare. He thought that only 24h ago, the world had been okay. Well, for him. The world had already been broken apart, but _his_ world had been still steady. He had been free and although he wasn't a singer anymore, he had had this little job as a cleaner, nobody knew about, to pay the rent for his loft.

But now he was a slave.

Sebastian Smythe's slave.

 

He wished anyone else would have bought him.

 

"Don't tell me you just cried within the five minutes?", Sebastian asked when he came back.

"N-no," Kurt meant reluctantly and wiped away his tears, "I was thinking about the punishment and what I've done wrong ... Sir."

"And what have you done wrong?"

Sebastian sat down on the bed, looking at Kurt, who licked his lips.

"I-I called you bastard," he said and blushed.

"Don't do that ever again, Cunt."

"I won't, Sir," Kurt replied and felt his stomach aching again.

"What else?"

Kurt bit down on his lips.

"I-I-I," Kurt stuttered, his mind dizzy.

"Did you call me Sebastian?"

"Yes, sorry, I'm sorry, Sir," he mumbled, staring at the clamp that was in Sebastian's hand now.

"Did you behave like a little piece of shit towards me?"

 _Honor to whom honor is due_ , Kurt thought, but didn't say anything and nodded his head instead.

"And what do you want to be your punishment, Cunt?"

"Spankings, Sir," Kurt said and grinned when Sebastian laid the clamps down with a sigh.

"You will stop grinning when I'm done with you."

 

Kurt already stopped grinning when he had to lie over Sebastian's lap.

"I will do it with my hands, not with the paddle," Sebastian said and brought his hand harshly down on Kurt's pale butt and Kurt cried out.

"You will never call me not Sir, do you get that, Cunt?", he asked and spanked his ass five times in a row and Kurt gripped the blankets.

"Yes, Sir," Kurt mumbled and received five other hard hits.

"And you will stop with your stupid comments no one wants to hear."

Kurt tensed up and got angry again. His tenseness made the next hits only more painful.

"You should relax, Cunt."

"Y-you may call me like that and I have to call you Sir? You're crazy!"

Sebastian sighed and hit Kurt's ass rigorously. He didn't even breathe properly, but used all his strength to hit him as hard as he could.

"No – ahhh – please, I'm s-sorry, Sir. Please, stop, p-please," Kurt cried out, but Sebastian didn't stop. He watched how Kurt's sore ass gained a darker shape of red with every new hit.

 

Sebastian sighed wearily when he was finished and let himself sink on the bed, Kurt sobbing relentlessly and still over his thighs. He hesitated a bit, but pulled Kurt next to him and hugged him tight.

"P-please no more hits, Sir," Kurt whined and Sebastian stroked his back. His hands were gentle almost tender and Kurt hated that he had again no clue what Sebastian was thinking.

 

"S-Sir ... wha-what are you doing?", he asked, completely over challenged with the way Sebastian held him.

"I'm comforting you."

Kurt sniveled and swallowed.

"W-why?"

"Because you just got hurt," Sebastian said and kissed Kurt's trembling hands. "People who got hurt need comfort. And especially you since you got hurt so often in your life, right?"

Kurt sobbed more and pressed his head on Sebastian's chest and responded to his touch now, when he gripped Sebastian's shirt and tugged slightly on it. He closed his eyes and tried to stop crying, tried to forget that his ass hurt like crazy or that he was completely naked and Sebastian clothed what made him feel inferior.

 

"Are you tired?", Sebastian asked after Kurt had calmed down.

"Y-yes, Sir."

Sebastian stood up and walked to his wardrobe.

"May I sleep on the couch now, Sir? Please?", Kurt asked reluctantly and with a wobbly voice when he sat on the bed while Sebastian turned to him and pulled his shirt off.

Kurt averted his gaze immediately.

"Look at me," Sebastian said and threw his shirt on the floor. "That's an order."

Kurt raised his gaze slowly and looked at Sebastian, his eyes glaring at his abs.

"Watch," he said with a smile and pulled his jeans down. Kurt swallowed and tried to not be so turned on by looking at the guy who just spanked him.

"What do you think?"

"About what?", Kurt asked in confusion.

"About my body."

Kurt blushed more and laughed nervously.

"And be honest."

"But if you want me to be honest ... and it would insult you, Sir, would you hurt me again?"

Sebastian laughed at Kurt's behavior. It seemed like he would never lose his shrewdness or the need to provoke him.

"I wouldn't hurt you for that."

"Well," Kurt started and cleared his throat, "you have moles."

And again there was this laugh.

This beautiful sound coming from this perverted motherfucker.

"That's all?"

"What do you want to hear?"

"I want you to praise my hot muscular body," Sebastian said with a grin.

"Oh ... that," Kurt mumbled and shrugged the shoulders. "Hmm, would be better without that meerkat face."

 

Sebastian's grin grew wider. He liked Kurt.

Really.

He liked him so much, he wanted to kiss him, lick him, feel him, but Kurt hated him. He had always hated him and since he was his personal slave Kurt would never feel anything else but contempt towards him.

His smile faded away when he thought about that and Kurt realized Sebastian's unhappiness and became sad as well. He didn't want to hurt Sebastian with saying that about his body. But why did he even care? He enslaved him, he shouldn't care about him at all.

But he did.

"I'm sorry, Seb-Sir. I -" He watched how Sebastian slipped in grey sweatpants and fetched a shirt out of the wardrobe.

"Your body is ... fine," he admitted with a blush, "pretty hot, actually."

"I know," Sebastian said and pulled a sweater on.

"What? But why did I have to-"

"I just wanted to be sure that you think I'm hot."

Kurt pouted and crossed his arms, tugging his legs to cover his pussy.

"I ... I only wanted to cheer you up," he meant grumpily.

"It's no use. You either think I'm hot or you didn't want to hurt my feelings, I'm fine with both versions."

Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"And to answer your question: You sleep in my bed, next to me."

Kurt sighed.

"And if I don't want to?"

"Then you can sleep on the ground," he answered and crawled under the blankets.

"Fine," Kurt said, stood up and gripped one blanket, but Sebastian held it. "You either sleep in the bed with the blankets or on the ground without blankets, a pillow or anything."

Kurt's eyes widened.

"And naked?"

"Yes."

"I would die of exposure."

"Probably."

"FINE," Kurt snorted, turned around and laid down on the ground, his face to the wall.

"Good night, Cunt," Sebastian laughed.

"Night!"

"What was that?"

"Good night, Sir."

Sebastian smiled and turned the light off.

 

Kurt woke up in the middle of the night, trembling and sobbing. His body felt numb and he rolled on his back and looked to the bed. Due to the moonlight he could see Sebastian lying there, sleeping peacefully.

 _Fucking bastard,_ he thought and stood up. He gripped the blanket reluctantly and slipped under it. It was so warm under the soft duvet that his skin started to burn and tingle. Kurt was still crying, not only because of the pain in his body, but because all the stuff he had to go through.

"Fuck," he swore when he touched Sebastian's leg by accident and woke him up.

"Kurt?", Sebastian asked, reached out his hand and scanned his face dozily.

"Yeah, that's my face you have your fingers on," Kurt mumbled, pensive about the fact Sebastian had called him by his real name.

"Are you crying?"

"N-no," Kurt sobbed, took Sebastian's hand and put it down.

"But your face is wet."

Kurt pulled the blankets over his chin and Sebastian rolled to his side and leaned on his elbow, watching the crying man in his bed.

"Who said that you're allowed to sleep in my bed?", he asked with a grin and another tear rolled out of Kurt's eye.

"Y-you said that, Sir."

"I might have changed my mind."

"Please, Sir. May I stay? It's so cold ... it's unbearable," Kurt meant and closed his eyes, still trembling while his body tried to encourage the blood flow.

"Only if you allow me to put my hand between your legs while we're sleeping."

_You must be kidding you motherfucking piece of shit!!!_

"B-but just touching on the outside ... without pushing any fingers in?", he asked, afraid of being on the cold ground again.

Sebastian smiled and licked his lips when he sank down in the pillows again.

"Just on the outside, I promise."

Kurt swallowed and turned himself away from Sebastian.

"O-okay."

Did he just really sell his pussy for sleeping in a bed?

Sebastian gripped Kurt at his hips and pulled him close to his body.

"You're cold as ice," he said and stroked his side.

"O-of course I am," Kurt replied and forced himself to not turn around and slap Sebastian's grinning face.

He would only spank him again if he did.

"Ready?", Sebastian asked and slid his right hand on Kurt's thigh.

"Y-yeah," he lied and clenched two fists when Sebastian pressed his body even closer against Kurt's back and shoved his warm hand between his legs.

 

He gasped when Sebastian's warm fingers touched him. He felt like dying, ashamed as he was and pushed his hips away from Sebastian, but he just gripped his pussy and pulled him against his crotch.

Kurt felt kisses on his neck and shoulder and hated this feeling inside of him. He hated that Sebastian made him feel like that.

"Good night, Kurt," Sebastian whispered in his ear and closed his eyes.

"Good night, Sir," Kurt replied and couldn't believe that Sebastian had called him Kurt again.

 

Kurt stared out of the window, watching the leaves of a tree moving in the wind. Sebastian's grip loosened a bit when Sebastian was close to sleep and relaxed. The hand wasn't as demanding as it had been before, but gentle, almost protecting and Kurt couldn't deny that it somehow – if you assumed away all the circumstances – felt good.

"Red," a voice whispered in the darkness and Kurt furrowed his brow.

"Did you say something?", he whispered back to Sebastian and felt how Sebastian moved his thumb between his legs a bit.

"The roses ... they were red," he meant and Kurt held his breath, not knowing what to think and feeling more confused than ever before.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt is bitchy, Sebastian is pissed but most of all sad. Actually, he just wants Kurt to like and respect him ...
> 
> Oh and a bit Burt in this chapter :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, ya!
> 
> I have another big chapter, although I wanted to write the shopping scene as well in this chapter, but I will put it in the next.
> 
> Oh and you will notice that I have some lol Blaine/Klaine parts in this fic.  
> Blaine is an asshole here, and you will hate him.

Kurt stretched himself and opened his eyes slowly. He hated this feeling when he woke up and was as tired as you hadn't slept at all. This was such a moment.

He looked at the strange wall, the strange ceiling and sat up, feeling extremely nervous because he had no clue where he was.

He scanned the bed hesitantly and found a paper lying on the pillow next to him, saying: **Good morning, Cunt!**

 

Suddenly he remembered everything and started to cry. He was actually Sebastian Smythe's slave and he had let him touch his pussy the whole night just to be allowed to sleep in a bed. He lifted the blankets and stared down between his legs, not quite knowing what he had expected, but he was relieved when everything seemed to be okay.

"What are you looking for? Do you think I plugged you up or something?", Sebastian asked and Kurt just shrugged his shoulders, trying to forget the intimacy they shared.

"Anyway, I'm glad you're awake, I need to go to work now," he said and walked closer to the bed, where Kurt rubbed his eyes and pulled the blankets up to his chin, staring into the distance.

 

"Bye, Sir," Sebastian said with a high-pitched voice, to imitate Kurt, "thanks for letting me sleep in the bed. Thanks for pulling my ass out of the fire."

Kurt pressed his lips together and stared hate-filled at Sebastian.

"Thanks for not raping me and not humiliating me in public," he continued, gripped the blanket and pulled it away.

"You are so nice, Sir. I really don't deserve you."

Kurt shoved his hands between his legs, to cover himself and averted his gaze while he panted with rage.

"Bye, Cunt," Sebastian said and turned around. "Oh, and don't you dare to pull my clothes on. We go shopping when I'm back, if you behave."

"When will you come back?", Kurt asked so that he could calculate his escape.

"Oh, do you miss your owner's hand on your cunt?", Sebastian asked with a grin and Kurt wanted to yell at him, spit at him, scratch his eyes out, but he just ignored him and raised one eyebrow contemptuously.

"It's Friday, so I'll be home early. You can look around and eat as much as you want, but if you damage something I will damage you, savvy?"

"Not even quoting Captain Jack Sparrow can educe any kind of sympathy from me," Kurt mumbled and raised his head to hold Sebastian's gaze.

"Not funny, Cunt. But I need to go now. I will punish you when I'm back," he said and scratched his neck, nodding to himself and left.

 

Kurt sighed, tugged his legs, laid his head on his knees and massaged his temples.

Yes, he had been bitchy.

No, it had to be.

Kurt had to show him that he couldn't talk to him like that and that no matter how Sebastian called him he would never break his spirit.

 

Of course did he take some of Sebastian's clothes and wore them. If he had the choice he wouldn't want them either, but he couldn't walk around, naked like that.

When he was in the bathroom and looked in the mirror, he saw the collar around his neck and got angry again. He tried everything to remove it, but he couldn't open it. He thought to remember that once the collar was on, you had to wipe over the little stripe - the scanner, with a special code that was in the deed of ownership, to open it.

"Fuck you, Smythe," he hissed and tensed his body when he gripped the sink and took a deep breath.

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"

 

He was looking for that shitty piece of paper in the whole house, but he couldn't find it. Then he wanted to go in the garden and was surprised when the front door wasn't locked. As he opened the door, he could see the nice path made of stones that lead to the big, black iron gate.

Of course, it was locked and extremely large.

From the gate was a fence that was covered with a hedge and run around the entire property. Kurt asked himself why any person would live in such a prison. Sebastian hadn't planned to buy a slave, as he said, so what or who did he want to lock out?

 

Kurt walked along the hedge and saw that there was truly no loophole, nothing that would help him to escape. He sighed and heard his stomach growling.

"Shut up," he said to himself and laid one hand on his stomach when he looked further around. In the garden was this one apple tree he had watched its leaves yesterday, a few benches and actually a swing and a sandpit. Either Sebastian was a kinky bastard and liked to sit in a sandpit, what Kurt could imagine well or he was a child molester. That would explain why he had such a fence, he drew little children, locked them in his garden, raped and killed them.

 

Kurt felt sick and went inside again. He opened the fridge reluctantly, not wanting to eat something from this child abuser, but he was hungry as hell.

"I hate you, Smythe," he whispered when he saw the almost empty fridge, but there was a piece of paper next to the margarine, saying: **I didn't expect to have guests, but I have always a pizza in the freezer.**

Kurt took the open milk bottle and smelled on it.

"Urgh, never heard of healthy eating, right Smythe?"

Kurt placed the bottle next to the fridge and opened the freezer. There were indeed a few pizzas and he shoved one into the oven although he rather had a hot chocolate and a jam sandwich or something.

He showered when the pizza was in the oven and hated that he had to use this asshole's products. And he hated that he knew the shampoo and conditioner and really liked these, but they had always been too expensive for him.

 

He looked at his reflection again and hated himself a bit more. Now, with that collar around his neck, he was really nothing more than a toy.

An 'it'.

 

He sank on the couch and took the zapper to turn the TV on while he was chewing his pizza. But as soon as the TV was on, all he saw was a blue screen with the words: 'That's not for cunts to touch' and 'enter the password'.

Kurt was furious and threw the zapper against the wall. He took a piece of pizza with him when he was looking for a laptop, tablet or anything. Next to Sebastian's bed was a laptop Kurt hadn't noticed before so he sat on the bed and boot the computer. He saw the windows 8 logo and then another blue desktop.

This one said: 'Nice try, Cunt!'.

He wanted to throw this machine against the wall too. He just needed to know what was happening outside. The world was going down and he needed news. And a mobile.

He had to contact his dad.

 

Sebastian was annoyed when he came home and went in the kitchen. Kurt was not only wearing his clothes again, he was rummaging around the drawers. Some packages were lying on the countertop and made the kitchen look like a mess.

"The fuck are you doing, Cunt?", Sebastian asked angrily and clenched two fists when Kurt just shrugged his shoulders and continued with whatever he was doing.

"You only have either frozen food or food that is beyond its expiration date in your household. I cull the expired foods," he mumbled and put a pack of gummy bears to the other stuff.

"Stop it," Sebastian whispered and took a deep breath. Kurt had been bitchy this morning and now he was wearing his stuff and he was also making a mess out of his kitchen.

That was too much for Sebastian to take.

 

"You have a pretty unhealthy lifestyle."

"You know nothing-"

"And most of your clothes look like you bought them when you were high-"

"Shut up!", Sebastian yelled and hit his fist against his wall, causing Kurt to wince and hold his breath.

"You already misbehaved this morning and now that. You will obey and if you don't-"

"Oh, come on. I'm so afraid," Kurt said mockingly and stemmed one hand on his hips. "As you said, you don't want a slave so you can simply let me free. Maybe I can forgive you someday."

"Strip," Sebastian ordered and rubbed his tired eyes.

"No," Kurt replied, but looked on the ground with less confidence than two seconds before.

"Strip, Cunt. I want you naked."

"Don't call me like that!"

"What about 'slut'?", he asked and stepped closer to Kurt, who didn't dare to move.

"No, I don't want that either," Kurt whispered weakly and felt his racing pulse in his head.

"I really don't care about what you want. Not anymore," Sebastian breathed and gripped Kurt's hair. "Not for today."

"Sebastian, please-"

"That's not how you call me. I thought you learned it yesterday. I guess I overestimated your skills," he hissed and tugged harshly at his hair.

"No, please," he begged and gripped Sebastian's hand, but he pulled him in the living room.

"Strip, or I'mma rip the clothes off your dirty cunt by myself."

Kurt crossed his arms in front of his chest and fought against the need to obey and do as Sebastian had said. He was afraid of another spanking, or something worse, but didn't want to feel so little again.

 

Sebastian saw the zapper on the floor and picked it up. _He wouldn't dare,_ he thought as he shook it and heard something rustle inside. And when he tried to start the TV with it, he realized that he really dared to do it.

"You broke the zapper?", he asked furiously and turned around to Kurt who was still clothed.

"It wasn't my intention to break it," he meant and raised one eyebrow, "I was just angry because of the password and that's why I ... threw it against the wall."

Sebastian nodded his head and scratched his chin before he left the room in a rush.

 

Kurt sank on his knees and laid a hand on his chest. He hadn't been aware of the tenseness in his body or the fear of looking at Sebastian. At this moment, he was thinking that wearing Sebastian's clothes had been a fault. Damaging the zapper had been a fault. Everything he had done this day had been wrong.

 

"Cunt," Sebastian yelled and Kurt looked up at Sebastian who was standing in the door frame, "hallway!"

Kurt swallowed, stood up and followed Sebastian in the hallway.

 

Sebastian's head was tilted and he was holding some ropes in his right hand. Although he was quiet, he seemed so tensed and frightening.

Or maybe because he was quiet.

"Sir?", Kurt asked with a shaky voice and stood still.

"You remember it after all?"

"Y-yes Sir," he meant and put a hand on his belt, ready to obey and open it.

"Two minutes ago, you were still convinced that you were right."

"I'm sorry, Sir," Kurt whispered and felt how he blushed. Bad enough to call Sebastian _Sir_ , he had to apologize as well. But he didn't do anything wrong. Just what every person would do if anyone decided to humiliate them.

 

"Do you really want me to say a fourth time that you should strip?"

Kurt opened his belt, shoved his pants down his legs and continued with pulling off his shirt. He expected Sebastian to watch him, but he didn't. And in an odd way, not receiving any attention at all was even worse than being watched.

Not that he would ever admit it.

"I'm done, Sir," he reported and Sebastian finally looked at him. But his green eyes were so angry that Kurt started to shiver and lowered his head in submission.

"And why couldn't I have that when I came home? Or this morning?"

"I'm sorry, Sir. I was so upset and-"

"I don't want to hear your excuses."

"I'm sorry."

"And stop saying that!", he demanded and walked to Kurt who ducked his head and pressed his hands over his pussy.

"Saying sorry and feeling sorry are two different things. You are not sorry. But you will feel a deep regret soon, believe me."

Kurt pressed his lips together and held his breath when Sebastian gripped his wrists and started to tie them up.

"W-what are you doing, Sir?"

Without any explanation, Sebastian shoved Kurt to the staircase.

"S-Sir, please, tell me what you are doing!", Kurt begged, but Sebastian just lifted Kurt's arms up his head and tied his wrists to the banister, making Kurt blush even more, but he didn't fight back.

"Sebastian-"

He received a slap on his face and bit down his lower lip, feeling tears flooding his eyes.

"That's not how you call me, Cunt."

"No, right, sorry, Sir."

 

Sebastian knelt down on the floor and stared deliberately between Kurt's legs for a long time and Kurt tried to cover himself a bit by turning around, but Sebastian gripped his hips and pushed them harshly against the staircase, making it impossible for Kurt to move away.

"Sir, w-what do you want?"

"Legs apart!"

"Why?"

He felt how Sebastian slapped his thigh and spread his legs a few inches, enough for Sebastian to force them apart and put his knees next to his ankles, spreading them more and having Kurt exactly how he had wanted him for ages.

 

Sebastian looked up in Kurt's tear-stained and so beautiful face and started to stroke his pussy and although Kurt winced and tried to get away, he couldn't move at all.

"Please, Seb- Sir, don't touch me there. Please."

"You were mean to me this morning, you wore my clothes," he listed and kissed Kurt's folds, making him whimper and shiver, "you broke the zapper and were disrespectful."

"Please, stop kissing me."

"You are a disappointment."

Kurt clenched around the ropes and rattled at them. It was horrible being touched there, by him and being called a disappointment.

He knew he was one.

He didn't need Sebastian Smythe to tell him so.

 

"Does it feel humiliating? Tell me, Cunt!", he whispered and gripped Kurt's butt cheeks when he sucked his folds.

"Yes," Kurt sobbed and slipped his eyes shut, "yes, please stop, Sir! Please!"

"Horrible, that I touch that part of your body you hate so much, right?", he asked and pushed his tongue between his folds.

"Oh god, no. Please, Sir, stop it!", Kurt cried and tried to think about something else and ignore the hot tongue.

"Do you know now that you're my slave?"

"I know it, Sir!"

Sebastian sucked slightly at his clit and Kurt tried to hold a moan back, his mind dizzy from the abasement and pleasure.

"Say it!", he insisted and sucked harder, feeling how Kurt tried to press his legs together.

"I-I'm your slave."

"What's your name?"

"Kurt."

"Wrong answer."

Sebastian pushed one finger inside and Kurt whimpered.

"Please, no. I don't want you to touch me like that."

"And I didn't want you to wear my clothes or damage anything."

Kurt looked down at Sebastian who started to thrust his fingers roughly in and out.

"What's your name?", he asked and watched how Kurt's pussy clenched around his fingers.

"K-Kurt."

"No."

He twisted his fingers and sucked hardly at his clit for a few times before he looked up at the blushed and sobbing man.

"P-please-"

"What's your name?"

"Kurt," he whispered and felt more tears rolling down his face when Sebastian increased the strength of his thrusts and brushed over his G-spot.

"What's your name?"

"Please."

"Tell me your name," he mumbled and smiled when Kurt tried to get away from his fingers.

"Sir, please stop that!"

"Just tell me your name."

"C-Cunt," Kurt muttered and felt like another piece of him died.

"What was that? What's your name?"

"Cunt," he repeated weakly.

"And you're my ...?"

"I'm your slave, Sir."

"Exactly," Sebastian meant and pulled his fingers finally out. He stood immediately up and held his fingers in front of Kurt's mouth.

"Suck."

Kurt looked at the ceiling when he opened his mouth and received Sebastian's fingers that tasted so much like him that he felt the urge to barf.

He removed the fingers soon and slapped his cheek slightly, just to see how the saliva and the rest of Kurt's juices mixed with Kurt's tears.

 

As soon as Sebastian had removed the ropes, Kurt started to cry and sank on the floor, tugging his legs. He felt how Sebastian laid a hand on his shoulder and slapped it away.

"Don't worry, Cunt. I'm just comforting you. As always after a punishment."

"Shove the comfort up your ass!", Kurt hissed furiously, but regretted it even before Sebastian knelt down, pulled him at his knees towards him and pushed his legs apart.

"No, please, I'm sorry."

"I feel like fucking you," Sebastian said with a smirk and pushed a finger back in.

"No, please, don't. I'm sorry, Sir!", he mumbled and covered his face, instead of his pussy, knowing any kind of disobeying would make it worse.

"Mhh, yummy. My slave is wet."

Kurt sobbed again and shook his head eagerly.

"I-I-I-"

"Shh, it's okay," Sebastian whispered, pulled his finger out and gripped Kurt at his shoulders to pull him into a comforting hug.

"Punishment is over. But I will do something like that again, if you misbehave. Got that?"

"Yes, Sir. I'm sorry."

 

Sebastian sighed sadly and laid his chin on Kurt's shoulder, holding his trembling body gently.

He didn't want to hurt or humiliate Kurt ever and ever again. But he couldn't stand Kurt hating on him for no reason.

"Stop, crying now!"

"I'm sorry, I really try, but – I can't."

Sebastian furrowed his brow and kissed Kurt's wet face, his temples and then his mouth. He felt how Kurt tensed, but he didn't try to get away. Maybe he was just too afraid of what Sebastian would do to him, if he tried.

 

He scrutinized his confused face after the kiss and stroked Kurt's cheek, smiling at him.

"Look at that. You stopped crying."

Kurt blushed and lowered his head.

"Nah, don't do that, look at me," Sebastian said and Kurt looked at him with watery eyes.

"I didn't hurt you with my fingers, did I?"

Kurt puckered his brows and his lips started to quiver.

"I-I-"

"Be honest."

"It hurt, Sir."

"But you liked it nonetheless?"

"What? I-"

"You're wet."

Kurt sighed and pushed himself away from Sebastian, but he held his hips firmly, not wanting to let him go.

"Nonono, stay right here, between my legs, where you belong!"

Kurt clenched two fists and stared at the wall when he felt Sebastian watching him.

"I will hurt you way more, if you push me again. You see that you pushed me, Cunt?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Fine. So something like that won't happen again, right?"

"No, Sir."

Sebastian nodded and kissed Kurt's lips again. It was a tender kiss and Kurt would have liked it, if he wasn't naked on the ground and felt like dying.

 

"Why do you always kiss me?", Kurt asked and tugged his legs again while Sebastian still had his legs around him. "I'm not even your type. You were after Blaine."

"I was after Blaine for like a day," Sebastian laughed and finally released Kurt, but he didn't move.

"What? But ... you met for months in High School."

"Let me tell you something about your Price Charming: I could have had him the first day we met. He came home with me and literally begged me to fuck him."

Kurt went pale and swallowed. He had enough bad experiences for one day.

"It was so easy, too easy, he was too boring."

"But why were you meeting him always if you weren't interested?"

"It was kinda fun to see you walking by and getting angry."

"It was fun to make me angry?"

"It still is," Sebastian admitted and stood up. "Do you want to go shopping now or not?"

"Uhm, yes, Sir. But – may I please get your phone? I need to call my dad!"

"Tell him that you got enslaved?"

"No," Kurt meant and shook his head, "I call him every evening at 8pm. But I forgot it yesterday and he is sure worried sick. You don't have a phone in your house and I-"

"Okay," he said, crouched down and gave his mobile to Kurt who started to smile, still tears in his eyes, "but turn the loudspeaker on."

"Thank you so much, Sir!", Kurt said and wanted to hug Sebastian because he could finally talk to his dad.

 

"Hello?"

Kurt blinked back his tears when he heard his father's voice. That was like the best medicine ever and made him always happy.

"Dad, it's me."

"Kurt? Oh my god! Are you okay? Where are you? Did something happen?"

Kurt licked his lips.

"I'm fine, Dad," he lied and tears rolled down his face, making Sebastian feel sick and like the biggest asshole on the whole world.

"Why didn't you call me? Or answered your phone? I was worried!"

"I know, I'm sorry, Dad. I lost my mobile and I–I–I call from a friend's phone," he meant and hated to refer to Sebastian with 'friend'.

It was silent for a while and they heard how Burt cleared his throat.

"I was already thinking they caught you."

Kurt's heart skipped a beat.

"Please come home. It's not safe in New York."

"It's not safe in Lima either. New York is my new home, Dad. You know that."

"I would really appreciate if you kept one of the letters with money I send to you weekly."

"You need your money by yourself, Dad. And I told you, everything's fine. The job is great-"

"Do they pay you well?"

"They do, considering that they don't have to pay me at all."

Sebastian tilted his head and lowered his gaze in thoughts.

"Come home, son."

"Dad!"

"Please. I – Thinking that anyone would ever claim oneself as your owner makes me feel sick."

Kurt glared to Sebastian and took a deep breath.

"I'm fine here. The patrol in Bushwick is nice. They are my friends."

Sebastian couldn't help. He just had to grin and mime a blow job, causing Kurt to raise his eyebrows in disgust

"Kurt, I – No, nevermind."

"What is it?"

"It's nothing. Have a nice day."

"Dad!? Tell me, please," Kurt begged, curious and a bit anxious.

"It's about Blaine."

"Oh."

Sebastian puckered his brows - it started to get interesting.

"I knew you wouldn't want to hear it."

"I do. Please tell me," he meant and stroked his knees.

"You know he calls me now and then since you have the new number."

"Yeah."

"And the last call was pretty strange."

Burt hesitated.

"He wants to ... you know ... do what such people do. The bastard wants to be your owner."

Kurt almost dropped the phone.

"I wish I could've hit that asshole!"

"Dad, stop it!"

"Can you believe that? The guy you once loved wants to call you his slave. I can't-"

"Dad, just don't answer the phone when you see it's him. Think of your heart!"

"He even offered me money to tell him where you are. As if I would ever betray my son. I'm so glad you moved that often."

"Yeah, as I said, I'm fine, dad. I need to go working, now, okay?"

"Okay, son. Don't you want to come back?"

"Dad!"

"Okay. No. I didn't say that. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Take care, Kurt."

"You too, Dad!", he said and ended the call.

 

Sebastian sighed and took his phone back when Kurt handed it over to him.

"Thanks, Sir," he whispered, scratched his arms and stood up, turning his back to Sebastian and took a deep breath.

"So, Blaine wants to buy you?"

"I don't want to talk about him," Kurt whispered and bit his lips. Sebastian stood up again and walked to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"He wanted to bribe your dad?"

"Please, Sir. I really can't talk about Blaine now. You can finger me or even fuck me, but please don't force me to talk about him."

Sebastian started to grin, stroked Kurt's spine and leaned against him, when he wrapped his arms around his chest from behind. Kurt didn't respond to the touch, he simply stood there, his face cold as ice.

"Did you just beg me to fuck you?"

"You wish."

Sebastian laughed and pressed his nose in Kurt's hair.

"You showered."

"I-I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't want to use your products, but I-"

"That's fine," he meant and inhaled his scent, imagining how Kurt was standing in his shower and used his products.

"I had a rough day and I was really happy, knowing that you would be home and wait for me," Sebastian whispered in Kurt's ear and felt the man in his arms tensing up.

"Happy? Because you like to humiliate somebody?"

Sebastian pushed Kurt away from him and turned him around. Sometimes he just wanted to yell at him that he liked him since Kurt didn't seem to get it if he said such things in a nice way.

"Do you want to go shopping now?"

"Yes, Sir. I would like that, but ... I may wear clothes, right?", he asked, knowing that most owners force their toys to be naked in public.

"Right."

"Thank you, Sir."

"You're welcome," Sebastian said and watched how Kurt ran upstairs, "Kurt."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading and all your nice comments!  
> Review this time as well, please :)  
> xo
> 
> (In the next chapter Kurt will be the first time in public as somebody's toy. And some bad stuff will happen)  
> But I plan to write a happy end! :'D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One step closer I'd say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> I hope you like this chapter! It has a cute ending, I guess ...
> 
> sorry for any errors
> 
> And I want to warn for sexual assault! I know the story is kinda like that, but if it triggers you, don't read this chapter or skip to the half. Don't hurt yourself! Thanks! :*

"Oh, that sweater!", Kurt yelled and wanted to run to the beautiful sweater over there, but Sebastian just strengthened the grip around his hand and made him stop. They just stepped into the store and as soon as Kurt saw new clothes, he seemed to forget where is place was.

"You think I would buy you every faggy thing you want or what?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders and looked at him.

"I would buy it by myself, but, unfortunately, there were a few white guys who decided to steal my life. Thus my money too."

Sebastian just sighed and walked towards the moving staircase, pulling Kurt after him.

Kurt stared on their hands and then to a few people who were looking at him, knowing _what_ he was since he wore a collar.

"Why couldn't I cover the collar with a scarf or something?"

"Are you ashamed of yourself?"

"What? No, it's just-"

"Good," Sebastian interrupted him and guided him onto the staircase. "And we had to show our passes three times already. Showing them the collar is timesaving."

Kurt nodded and blushed when he saw that one guy with the white leather jacket who was grinning at him as if he wanted to eat him alive.

"And why do we need to hold hands?", he asked and stepped with Sebastian on the next floor where was underwear for men and women.

"Because, my dear, naive boy, they would steal you away if they saw you without your owner."

Kurt ducked his head and clenched his fingers around Sebastian's hand.

"It's horrible," he whispered and Sebastian stood still, to watch him.

"Listen," he said and stroked his cheek with his free hand, "You're safe. I won't let anyone hurt you, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt answered and lowered his head, wondering why his heart was beating so fast.

 

"Fine. Let's find some nice panties for you," Sebastian said cheerfully and pulled Kurt to the ladies' underwear.

"Woaah, hold on! I'm a man, Se-Sir."

"I never questioned that," he meant honestly and smiled at Kurt who puckered his brows. Sebastian didn't question his gender? He would be one of the first people ever to accept him the way he is.

 

"But since you have a really beautiful pussy, we should find something to honor that part of you."

"I like boxer shorts-"

"Covering your pussy won't transform it into a cock, you know that, right?"

"I - yes, but-"

Kurt felt suddenly a slap on his butt and turned around, facing the guy in the leather jacket. He blushed and tensed completely up when this man's grin grew wider.

"Your toy is beautiful," he mumbled and looked to Sebastian as Kurt felt the need to barf.

"I know," Sebastian hissed and stood in front of Kurt, still holding his hand, "but don't you dare to touch him again."

The guy laughed and shook his head before he opened his mouth to say something, but he just laughed and went away.

 

"I hate people!", Sebastian said and turned to Kurt whose eyes were watery.

"Kurt-"

"I'm sorry, Sir. I'm fine," he muttered with a wobbly voice and rubbed his eyes.

"Hey," he whispered and hugged Kurt tenderly, "don't be afraid. They can't hurt you. Don't cry."

"No, please!", a young voice screamed through the hall and Kurt pushed himself out of Sebastian's arms.

"No, please, Master. Ouch, stop!"

Without over thinking it, Kurt started to run towards the noise and as he came closer to the corner in the area for men, he saw this muscular man, having a naked boy kneeling in front of him. He was holding him at his hair with one hand and hitting his cheek with the other, having his lips bloody and his cheek swollen. The boy was wearing a collar and on his whole body were mean insults written with a marker. "Cockslut" was on his forehead.

 

"Stop hitting him!", Kurt yelled with tears in his eyes and the man and the sobbing boy both looked to him.

"Tell me trash, is this toy talking to me?"

Kurt winced and looked to the boy, who slipped his eyes shut, crying relentlessly.

"N-no, Master. I'm sure it is not," he said, like he didn't want to cause Kurt any trouble.

"Fuck off, toy!", the boy's owner shouted to Kurt.

"You can't call him trash a-and you can't hit him!", Kurt meant and clenched two fists when the man released the boy and turned completely to Kurt, standing in front of him and looking frightening.

"I can do whatever I want," he said calmly and hit Kurt just one time, but so hard that he almost fell.

 

"Did you just hurt my toy?", Sebastian asked and positioned himself next to Kurt, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"It can't behave."

"Did you just hurt my possession?"

"Why don't you go home to mummy and cry?", he laughed, gripped the young boy at his hair and pulled him up.

"Oh, I don't go to mummy. I think I could just report you to the police."

The man's face went pale and he looked Sebastian over.

"C'mon dude. Don't do that."

"I'm not your dude and I will do that," he said and turned around, pulling Kurt with him.

"No, please don't," the man begged and followed them, tugging the boy at his hair. "Please, I'll make it up. What do you want? But please no police."

"I want you to apologize."

"Sorry, toy," he mumbled reluctantly and Kurt nodded hesitantly.

"And apologize to your toy as well."

"Why would I apologize to it?"

"Because I'm gonna report you to the police if you don't."

The man bit his lips and sighed.

"Okay, sorry, trash," he muttered and passed them. The boy was looking at Kurt with his big, begging eyes when the man pulled him after him and Kurt wanted to follow them, but Sebastian held him back.

 

"You can't help him."

"I'm so stupid. I should have never said something. Now he takes him outside and humiliates him in public," he whispered and pressed both hands on his mouth.

"It was right to show the boy that there are people who care. That gives him strength," he meant and stroked over Kurt's red cheek.

"I'm so stupid, I'm horrible-"

"Kurt, it's not your fault that the world is a piece of shit, okay?", Sebastian almost screamed and held Kurt at his shoulders. But Kurt just stared into the distance, not able to forget those frantic eyes.

"Oh no, don't cry! Please, I-I'll buy you boxer shorts, okay? I'll buy you whatever you want," Sebastian tried and started to rifle through the underwear, showing Kurt some pieces. Kurt just sank on the floor and couldn't believe what just happened.

 

The boy had been so young, not even 18 years old, and no one wanted to help him when the guy hit him, insulted and humiliated him. Some people had been watching, but most of them didn't even care.

"Why such a long face? Do you need a cock your life?", the guy with the white leather jacket asked and stood suddenly in front of Kurt, making him shiver full of fear.

"L-leave me alone-"

"You can have mine."

"I don't want your-"

"Fuck off," Sebastian hissed and put a hand on Kurt's collar, placing himself protectively in front of him.

"I'm really into those blue, swollen eyes," the man admitted and Kurt grabbed Sebastian's trousers, hiding himself behind him like a child. And he knew it had to look pathetic, but he was scared and distraught and felt weak. So ineffably weak.

"Leave us alone."

"I don't want you to give your toy to me for free. I give you 50 bucks for an hour with that sobbing creature."

Sebastian felt close to exploding and clenched a fist.

"He is unsaleable."

"100 bucks."

"Piss off!"

The man raised his eyebrows and shoved his hands into his pockets before he left another time.

 

Sebastian crouched down to Kurt, completely worried and took his head in both of his hands.

"Gosh, please stop crying. I said I won't let anyone hurt you-"

"And what about the boy? Or all the other people? Who cares about them? Who protects them? They're all alone!", he said, tugged his legs and started to cry.

"Are you really crying because of empathy?", Sebastian asked in disbelief and with a little grin.

"I know that's hard for you to understand, since you have no feelings," Kurt hissed and wiped away his tears.

Sebastian's grin vanished.

He nodded hesitantly and stood up.

"Yeah. I was born without emotions. I'm a lucky guy."

 

When Kurt looked up after a few minutes he saw Sebastian randomly putting some panties in a shopper basket.

"Come," he said and walked to Kurt who stood up and felt the need to apologize. Especially when Sebastian didn't take his hand as they were driving down the rolling staircase.

 

They were barely at the main floor when a man from a patrol stood in front of them and reached out his hand.

"ID?"

Sebastian pulled his pass out of his pocket and showed it to him.

"And I have the title deed for him somewhere in my jacket," he said, pointed to Kurt and scanned his jacket.

"No," the man said and looked at Kurt's collar, "it's fine."

He went away and Kurt saw that there were five other people in uniform, checking the people's ID's in the store.

 

"I've forgotten my ID at home, I will go and get it," a young man said and Sebastian and Kurt knew what was coming.

"We ask you to let us check your crotch," a man said and the others went to them too.

"Sebastian," Kurt mumbled and gripped his hand.

"Ignore them," he meant and turned around, wanting to go away, but Kurt couldn't move. He couldn't ignore the tenseness of the man who suddenly ran away. The people in uniform were faster and got him. Three of them held him while he struggled to get free and one pulled his pants down his legs.

 

"Sebastian, do something!"

"Let's go," Sebastian meant, almost begged. He didn't want to see that, he didn't want to dream about that at nights.

The man had indeed a pussy and Kurt gasped for air when they tied his wrists together, not even minding to pull his pants back up. It reminded Kurt so much of his own arrest.

"Sebastian, they just – have you seen what they-"

"You can't help him," Sebastian said again and pulled Kurt finally away.

"Which was the sweater you liked? This one, right?"

He held the sweater in front of Kurt's eyes, but he was just crying with an empty expression in his eyes.

"Look at that beautiful sweater!"

"And you just watched how they ruined a life. Everyone here," Kurt mumbled and looked around, judging all the people who were shopping like nothing had ever happened.

"As you said, I don't have feelings."

Kurt looked at Sebastian and sniveled.

"I-it was mean to say that," Kurt admitted and pressed his lips together, trying to calm down, but it was impossible. An this moment, he was so much aware of all the pain in the world that he couldn't even breathe. Not only that the world had always been sexist, racist and money-hungry, now the people were directly watching how the crime happened. They were watching and no one seemed to care.

That was Kurt's problem.

He was surrounded by humans that hadn't one drop of humanity in their blood.

 

"Yeah, it was mean."

"I am mean."

"You do your best."

"I'm not in shopping mood anymore."

"Me neither," Sebastian agreed, shoved the sweater in the bag as well, took Kurt by his hand and walked with him to the register. Kurt was too confused to notice, but Sebastian saw exactly how the guy in the leather jacket stood in the corner and watched them on their way, grinning shamelessly.

"Mister," Sebastian said to the security guard who was standing next to the register, "This man over there watches us all the time. He threatened us and wants to steal my toy."

Kurt raised his head to look in the direction Sebastian was pointing. He shivered when he met the dark eyes of the man.

"I will solve the problem, Sir."

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry for any trouble you had in our store," the man said and went to the stalker.

"What are we doing?", Kurt asked Sebastian and strengthened the grip around his hand.

"I guess we'll take the other exit," Sebastian whispered as he watched how the security guard guided the man out.

 

They went through the store after Sebastian had paid and found themselves on the other side of the street.

"Do I get it right that he wants to rape me and you're afraid because you're not strong enough to win against him?"

"Quiet, Kurt!", Sebastian hissed and pulled Kurt after him, along the building. He hesitated when they were at a crossroad. There were many people and Sebastian was afraid that when they passed this building, the guy could see them. He was almost sure that he was standing at the other side of the building, just waiting for them.

 

He peeked over the corner of the store and saw a few people, but no one with a white leather jacket.

"Okay, come," he meant and continued walking. Kurt saw how the man suddenly appeared in the crowd, next to two other guys with similar jackets and pulled eagerly at Sebastian's hand.  
"Sebastian."

Sebastian turned to Kurt and then to the men and decided to run.

Kurt didn't know where Sebastian was going and he simply followed him, until they couldn't run straightforward anymore and he wanted to take the right road and Sebastian the left.

"Right is the lucky side-"

"We go left."

"No, right!"

"There!", one of the men screamed and both took the left road. They ran a while, took a few junctions until they went into a deadlock and hid behind a garbage bin.

 

"It wasn't clever to run to a place where no other people are, Sebastian-"

"Shhh," Sebastian whispered and pressed his hand on Kurt's mouth. Kurt was lying uncomfortable between Sebastian's legs, a hand on his belt and his other hand on his chest.

They heard footsteps coming closer and Kurt swallowed.

"I swear I'm gonna fuck this toy senseless and his bastard of owner too," one screamed and passed them. Kurt stared with big eyes to Sebastian and saw how he was soundlessly counting. And the second guy passed. Kurt tensed up and suddenly felt Sebastian's heartbeat under his palm. He was just as nervous as he was.

Sebastian puckered his brows and turned his head while he was listening when the third man was coming closer and stood still, just in front of the deadlock. Kurt started to cry and Sebastian pressed his hand even firmer on his mouth, holding his breath while the man continued walking.

"Up, up, run," Sebastian mumbled, stood up and pulled Kurt up and on the street again. They ran the whole way back and were still tensed when they were on a big place where many people were.

 

Sebastian shoved the back in his car and sat on the driver's seat. He didn't dare to look to Kurt who was on the passenger's seat, he was too afraid of how he might look like. But then he heard a sobbing and had to look to him. But Kurt was laughing and rubbed his eyes.

"W-why are you laughing?"

"It's just, what a mad world," he laughed and hit his thighs. "Oh God, hilarious!"

Sebastian sighed and laid his hand hesitantly on Kurt's neck.

"It was horrible. I hope you're okay?"

Kurt swallowed and raised one brow.

"I'm fine. Why- why would I-why-" He started to sob and buried his face in his hands and Sebastian pulled him in his arms.

"That's okay. Cry as much as you want. I feel like crying, too," he whispered and stroked Kurt's back.

"We didn't do anything to encourage them, right? I didn't do anything to-"

"Shut up," Sebastian spat and Kurt winced when he took him at his shoulders and stared in his tear-stained face, "you didn't do anything to encourage either these bastards that they wanted to rape you or the government to enslave you. It's not your fault that the world is fucked up. And it's not your fault that this guy got caught by the patrol."

Kurt swallowed again and averted his gaze.

"P-please let me be."

"God, Kurt, it's not your fault!"

"Then whose fault is it?", he screamed and looked to Sebastian who was still holding him. "We were so many people in that store and they were only five-"

"Yeah and they had weapons."

"Someone has to fight back."

"Kurt," Sebastian meant soothingly and rubbed his arms, "you can't change the world all alone and when you're stupid and attack people of the government."

"But I-"

"One has to do such things with patience and cleverness," he said, left hold of him and started the car.

"And it's clever to watch how they destroy a life? Several lives. He sure had friends, a family ..."

"I'm trying to figure out what's clever."

 

*

 

Kurt had been able to convince Sebastian to buy some vegetables, fruit, milk and just food that wasn't expired.

 

Sebastian was making two coffees when Kurt put the foods in the fridge.

"Thanks," Kurt mumbled hesitantly, "for not lending me to this asshole for 100 bucks."

"If he had wanted to give me 200 bucks I would've changed my mind."

Kurt gasped and turned around to face Sebastian who was laughing.

"That was a joke! Why are you thinking so badly about me?"

"Well, SIR," he hissed and continued with filling the fridge, "maybe it has something to do with the non-consensual touching or the degrading names you call me or the permanent humiliation by letting me walk around naked. Or when you push your dirty fingers-"

Sebastian gripped Kurt's shoulders, turned him around and pressed him against the countertop.

"And why do you think I do all these things?"

Kurt scrutinized his green eyes. They weren't angry, rather ... disappointed.

 

"Maybe you get hard when you can humiliate someone."

"What?"

Sebastian pushed himself away and turned around, nervously brushing his fingers through his hair.

"I do the punishments and all that stuff just because – because I want you to respect me," he yelled and stood still. Kurt puckered his eyebrows and closed the fridge, not believing what he just heard.

"You think if you treat me like shit I would respect you?"

Sebastian took a deep breath, turned around to look at Kurt and shrugged with his shoulders.

"Yes."

"I-I ... that's stupid. I can't respect anyone who insults me. That doesn't work out, not in my case. I don't know what porn sides you visited to have this information, but ... what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Sebastian took a cup of coffee and left the kitchen.

"Hey, wait, let's talk about that-"

"There's nothing to talk about," he mumbled and sat down in the living room. He gripped the zapper and swore.

"Turn the TV on! You broke the zapper!"

 

Kurt stood in front of the TV and crossed his arms. He felt much stronger since Sebastian had said this. Sebastian had been pretty nice in the store and on their escape, maybe he could trust him at all.

Just a bit.

"I'm nice to people who are nice to me and I respect people who respect me."

"Fine. Then you can turn the TV on."

"Look I'm gonna continue with calling you _sir_ if you start calling me by my real name. Like you did often this afternoon."

"I did? Well, my mistake. I apologize for that."

"Sebastian-"

"Cunt!"

Kurt sighed, walked to Sebastian and sat next to him on the couch. It was so hard to understand Sebastian, but since he was kinda stuck in this situation he had to understand him.

 

"I tried to escape this morning and I walked around in the garden and saw the swing and the sandpit."

"And did you have some fun?", Sebastian asked mockingly, stood up and walked to the TV.

"The first thing that came in my mind was that you have to be a child abuser."

Sebastian turned pale, but he nodded when every expression left his face.

"Is that what you want? Continue to treat me like shit and not talking to me? Giving me space to think like that about you?", Kurt asked and bent his body forward to Sebastian who was still standing on the other side of the room.

"Do you want that?"

"No, I- Why would you think that I-"

"Because all I know about you is that you tried to steal my boyfriend away and forced your fingers in my while you humiliated me during the past days," Kurt remarked and leaned back again, watching Sebastian walking away.

"Wait, where are you going?", he asked and followed him.

"Bedroom," he mumbled and walked up the stairs.

"Wait!", Kurt yelled and gripped his arm to hold him back. "Why can't we just talk?"

"I don't like talking, okay?", Sebastian hissed and hit Kurt's hand away.

 

"You just don't like that I saw your weakness!", Kurt provoked and stepped in Sebastian's bedroom.

"My weakness?"

"Yeah, you try so hard to be a rough asshole but you do have a heart. And it's kinda broken, right? Who broke it?"

Sebastian hit his hand against the wall.

"Shut up. My heart is not- You don't know anything!"

"I know that I'm thankful that you don't treat me like this man treats this boy," he admitted and walked to Sebastian who pressed his forehead against the wall, his eyes closed.

"Why don't we stop hurting each other?", Kurt asked and hesitated, but laid a hand on Sebastian's shoulder. It felt strange to touch the man who had been so horrible, but right now Sebastian seemed to be so vulnerable and hurt.

And Kurt had always the need to comfort sad people.

 

Sebastian swallowed, opened his eyes and stared to Kurt who forced himself to smile awkwardly at him. He looked to Kurt's lips, took his shoulder and pushed him against the wall. Kurt tensed when Sebastian bent to him and digged his fingers in his hair.

"Oh, there we have a weird situation again," Kurt muttered and averted his gaze. "W-why don't we talk about your feelings before something inappropriate happens?"

Sebastian had to laugh.

"My feelings?"

Kurt nodded, but felt his heart beating so loud that he was afraid Sebastian could hear it.

 

"I think what you're doing is cute and it makes me wanna fuck you," he whispered in Kurt's ear and caused a shiver to run down his spine.

"I want to pin you down while I take you and see your beautiful face all red and sweaty when you cum around my cock and make the blankets wet," he breathed, digged his nails in Kurt's hip bones and kissed his neck gently.

"Ohhh, o-okay, that's uhm – t-telling me that is an improvement," Kurt stuttered and made Sebastian laugh.

"Sure it is," he replied and kissed his cheek. Kurt turned slightly away and laid his hands on Sebastian's chest. He knew he should've pushed him away, but he couldn't. There was something magical about Sebastian's touch (when he was gentle like now) and he had to admit, he liked it.

"And now tell me about your emotions," Sebastian insisted and sucked a hickey right above Kurt's collar.

"I-I uhm ..."

"I told you about mine. It's your turn."

"Yes, uhm I-"

Sebastian slid his hands up Kurt's chest and leaned his forehead against his. He closed his eyes and waited for Kurt to say something, but he remained silent.

"Coward," he laughed, left hold of him and started to change his clothes.

 

Kurt watched him and pressed one hand on his cheek to feel his warmth. He blushed even more when he felt his hot skin, shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to forget that he had been damn close to tell Sebastian that he would probably want what Sebastian had told him.

He was glad he didn't tell him though.

 

"I think it's fair if I stop calling you _cunt_ and you don't have to call me _sir_. But I want you to respect me and do what I say because you still wear my collar and that means you're mine," Sebastian meant and crawled under the blankets after he had changed into sweatpants and a sweater.

"Okay," Kurt agreed. "And may I sleep in the bed or do you want me to catch a cold on the floor?"

Sebastian turned on his back and interlocked his hands behind his head, grinning smugly at Kurt's blushed face.

"You may sleep in my bed."

"Uhh," Kurt breathed and shoved the blankets away.

"Naked," Sebastian added and Kurt gave him a warning gaze. "Please, Kurt."

Kurt looked to the ground and thought it over before he started to pull his shirt off.

"Wow, he obeys."

"I leave the underwear on," he decided and was surprised when Sebastian just nodded and watched how he pushed the jeans down his legs and slipped under the blankets.

 

Without a word, Sebastian turned the bedside lamp off and turned his back to Kurt.

 

Kurt felt strange. It had been a rough and horrible day. He had done a few things he felt sorry for and had received a few humiliating things he felt like Sebastian should feel sorry for.

 

"Kurt?", Sebastian whispered and Kurt looked to him. "I'm sure you wonder how long I will keep you here. And the answer is: I will let you go when you can step on the street without that your life gets threatened."

Kurt rolled to his side and stared at Sebastian's head.

"R-really?"

"I just want to know you're safe."

 

Kurt didn't want to feel like that. He didn't want his heart to beat that fast or his cheeks to feel so warm. But he couldn't help it.

"Why do you even care about me?"

"I don't know," Sebastian admitted. "I only know that I'm sorry for hurting you. Today, yesterday and back then in High School."

Kurt gripped the pillow so hard that his fingers hurt.

"I'm sorry too. For hurting you with my insults and all," he mumbled, closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "I-I know you have feelings."

He heard Sebastian's laugh and relaxed a bit.

"But why the sandpit?"

"I have a niece."

"Oh, I didn't know you have siblings."

"A sister and an asshole brother. She is three, the girl of my sis. We talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt whispered and felt the bed shift when Sebastian turned around. Kurt felt nervous, knowing that Sebastian was now looking at him, or that he could be looking at him without Kurt knowing that, since his eyes were closed.

 

He didn't move, but pretended to sleep when he felt Sebastian's hand on his cheek that later slid down his side and rested tenderly on his waist. Kurt felt so good, so warm and sheltered and he had to recall himself that he was actually a slave and had no freedom. But for the first time in the past days, Kurt realized that not Sebastian had stolen his freedom, but the government and the society that supported this system.

Sebastian wasn't his enemy, but rather a mystery that had tendencies to be the biggest asshole in the world and one of the hottest and gentlest guys Kurt had ever met.

 

Sometime, when Sebastian thought Kurt was sleeping, he pressed a sweet kiss on Kurt's forehead and pulled his body slightly to him.

"Sleep well, beautiful," he whispered and Kurt's heart skipped a beat.

 _You too, meerkat-face,_ Kurt thought and fall asleep with a smile on his face.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for your reviews! :) Please review this time as well ^-^
> 
> I think Seb's sis will visit them in the next chapter ... and we will have some talking ;)
> 
> xo aida


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday morning, bitching, kisses and new characters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Thank you so much for your positive response :)  
> I'm so glad you like it!!!  
> xo
> 
> (I wanted to write so much more in this chapter ... but it's pretty long and I thought I just update it like this)
> 
> sorry for any errors ... it's late and I'm tired ...

Sebastian woke up and got into a panic when he saw that Kurt wasn't in his bed. The sun was shining into the bedroom and Sebastian looked to the clock, seeing that it was already past 9. He had to think about that Kurt surely had taken the keys out of Sebastian's nightstand and escaped, but when he opened the drawer he caught a sight of the keys and puckered his brows in thoughts.

He stood up hesitantly and walked downstairs to the kitchen, where he heard the coffee machine.

 

When he stepped into his kitchen, he saw that the small table was laid and Kurt was standing on the stove, wearing jeans and the sweater Sebastian had bought him yesterday.

"W-what-?"

Kurt turned his head to Sebastian and smiled.

"Morning. Good you're awake. I was afraid I had to wake you up because the eggs are almost ready."

Sebastian held his breath.

"What?"

He didn't get why Kurt was acting like this. Why he was so ... nice.

"I woke up early and was bored, so I thought I could make breakfast," Kurt explained himself and shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't have to do that, Kurt-"

"I know. As I said, I was bored and I – I think we should try to get along with each other, you know," Kurt mumbled and turned the stove off. Sebastian smiled, stepped slowly behind Kurt and hugged him.

 

"Until now you thought you were able to control the situation, right?", Sebastian whispered in his ear and smiled when he felt how Kurt tensed up, "But what are you doing now when I hold you like this?"

Kurt gripped the countertop and swallowed nervously.

"I could throw my head back and split your smirking merkat-face," he answered and felt Sebastian's breath on his neck, when he laughed.

"Yeah, this way you'd be free for a second but you'd need the keys to escape. And these are in my right pants pocket. Do you think you could reach them before I would get mad and tie you up?"

"Probably not," Kurt replied and turned his head slightly to Sebastian, feeling his nose next to his ear.

"But I could slowly turn around," he whispered and did exactly that. He held Sebastian's gaze and laid his hands on Sebastian's upper arms as Sebastian put his hands on the countertop. "And kiss you." He looked to Sebastian's lips and moved his thumbs tenderly over Sebastian's biceps. "I could seduce you and kill you in your sleep."

Sebastian laughed and gripped Kurt's hips, making Kurt tense up even more as he held his gaze.

"You could realize your plan up to the seduce thing, but I would fuck you so hard that it'd be impossible for you to walk for the next couple of days."

 

Now was Kurt the one who laughed and Sebastian slowly pressed his mouth to his ear.

"You look sexy in the new sweater," he breathed and kissed his neck before he pushed himself away and sat down.

Kurt watched him for a few seconds and sighed in relief. He had been really scared, for a moment. But Sebastian had only wanted to test Kurt's reaction ... right?

 

Kurt gave Sebastian some of the scrambled eggs, put the rest on his plate and sat also down.

"Thanks for making breakfast," Sebastian mumbled as he chewed some bread.

"We don't speak with our mouths full," Kurt straightened him out and shook his head. Sebastian just laughed.

"Yes, Mummy."

"Talking of mummy, do you even have one who taught you manners or why can't you behave at all?"

Sebastian swallowed the bread and rolled his eyes, looking hurt and Kurt felt suddenly horrible.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know anything about your family. I don't know why I-"

"I had the pleasure to grow up with a mother. Jealous?", he interrupted Kurt and looked to him with cold eyes. "How did your mum even die, Kurt? I heard rumors about an accident, but also that she killed herself?"

Kurt jumped up, struggling to not cry. Thinking about his mum had always been hard and he was sure that he could never really get over it or forget the day he looked down at her coffin.

 

He started to run out of the kitchen, but Sebastian held his arm and made him stop.

"You're not going! You started the fight, now you have to deal with it!", he hissed, gripped Kurt's chin with his free hand and turned his face into his direction.

"I didn't start a fight, asshole! I said something and was sorry. But you – you just want to hurt me, over and over again!", Kurt sobbed and felt tears running down his face.

 

Sebastian sighed sadly and hugged Kurt again, who didn't fight back, but didn't respond to the touch either.

"I get easily provoked," Sebastian whispered.

"You don't say?"

"Don't push me!"

"Don't hurt me!"

"I bought you stuff!"

"You enslaved me!"

Sebastian pushed Kurt away and looked at his face. He wasn't crying anymore and his eyes were rather angry than sad.

"Little, bitchy boy, huh?", he asked with a grin and brushed with his forefinger over Kurt's lips, but he turned his head away. Sebastian gripped Kurt's right butt cheek with his left hand and pulled his pelvis against his own, making Kurt shove his hands on Sebastian's chest, trying to get away.

"Sebastian!"

"Kurt."

"Stop touching me like this!", he muttered and hit his fists against Sebastian's chest, but he only achieved that Sebastian used his other hand to grip the other cheek of his butt as well.

 

Kurt closed his eyes for a second, thought about a solution and when he opened his eyes, he tilted his head up and kissed the man in front of him.

Sebastian was so surprised that all his muscles slackened off for a moment, but he soon kissed Kurt back and gripped his butt even tighter. Kurt bit his lips when Sebastian sucked marks above his collar and knew he had to get more dominant, so he forced himself to pull Sebastian's face to his, to kiss him again, hating to admit that it felt good.

 

Kurt stroked up and down Sebastian's chest, played with the hair at the back of his head and let Sebastian suck his tongue. It was a horrible moment for Kurt to shove his left hand further down, put it in Sebastian's pocket and pull the keys out.

"I won," he whispered, pulled himself finally away and laughed at Sebastian, waving with the keys.

"You!", Sebastian hissed and stepped to Kurt. Kurt laughed and started to run away, but as always Sebastian could get him soon and gripped him firmly from behind.

"A mean trick ..."

"I warned you."

The man with the green eyes started to tickle Kurt at his sides and Kurt tried to get away, but Sebastian was much more stronger and when it was too much, Kurt dropped the keys and laughed uncontrollably.

"I give in, I give in!", Kurt yelled and Sebastian stopped with tickling him, but had his hands still around him.

"You give in?"

"Yes!", Kurt agreed and felt so strange when Sebastian kissed his neck once more.

"Are you mine?"

"Yes!", he mumbled but tensed up right after he had said that. "Wait, what did I just say?"

"You agreed that you're mine," Sebastian meant smugly and just pressed himself against Kurt who turned his head back to him.

"I didn't mean that."

Sebastian didn't react to what Kurt had said, he just kissed his lips and Kurt - who had no clue why - kissed him back, slowly putting his hands on Sebastian's that were gently on Kurt's stomach.

"What are we doing, Sebastian?", Kurt asked helplessly after the kiss and pressed himself against the warm, strong body.

"I don't know," Sebastian admitted and pressed his nose in Kurt's hair, "but I kinda like it."

 

Kurt smiled, turned around and opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped when the door bell rang. Sebastian bit his lips, hesitated, but turned around. He cleared his throat and pushed the button of the intercom.

"Hello?"

"It's me, uncle Sebby!", a high-pitched voice screamed and Sebastian started to smile, fetched the keys and ran outside the house. He left the door open and Kurt placed himself in the door frame, watching how Sebastian opened the gate and let a curvy woman and a little girl in a pink dress in.

 

"You're even prettier than the last time we met!", Sebastian meant to the girl, picked her and held her in his arms when he kissed the girl's cheek.

Meanwhile, the woman locked the gate up again and gave the keys back to Sebastian.

"I hope we don't disturb you?", she asked and Sebastian's smile grew wider.

"You never disturb me, Sammy," he said and raised his left arm to hug the woman, while he was still holding the girl, whose legs were wrapped around his waist, with his right arm.

 

"Oh God!", Samantha said when she looked to the front door and saw a man with a collar. She turned to Sebastian and slapped the back of his head slightly.

"Ouch, why-?"

"You bought a Toy?", she asked reproachfully and Sebastian shrugged his shoulders.

"It's not like that."

"No?"

"No. That's ... uhm ... Kurt."

"Kurt?" She raised her brows.

"Yes. Kurt Hummel."

She hit him again, harder this time and he let the girl on the ground again.

"Listen, little brother," Samantha meant as she took her daughter by her hand, "it's pretty pathetic to enslave the guy who didn't love you back when you were in High School."

Sebastian tensed up and shook is head.

"I-I never – I was there and saw him. I hadn't planned to buy him, I didn't even know he is like that," he explained himself. "I just wanted to have him here, where it's safe."

 

The woman laughed and started to walk to the front door, where Kurt felt pretty nervous.

"Kurt, that's my gorgeous sister Samantha and that's her beautiful daughter Laura."

Kurt nodded and thought about to shake the woman's hand. But he knew he wore a collar. He knew he wasn't a person by law.

He felt like he wasn't worth touching her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Kurt," Samantha said, smiled politely and reached out her hand. Kurt returned the smile and took her hand.

"Uncle Sebby, uncle Sebby! Let's go playing!", the young girl begged and tugged at Sebastian's pants.

"Okay, sweety," he said to her and laughed. "You get along?", he asked Kurt and his sister but didn't really wait for a response and let the girl pull him to the swing.

 

Kurt felt more uncomfortable than Samantha. In fact, she felt pretty good and went straight into the house.

"How long are you here, Kurt?", she asked and went into the kitchen.

"Uhm .. It's the third day," he replied and followed her.

"Oh, look at that! You were eating!"

"No problem-"

"Sit down!", she said, gripped his shoulders and sat Kurt on a chair. "Eat!", she said as she sat down on the other chair and smiled at him. "You look so pale, you should definitely eat more!"

"I-I'm not really hungry, right now," he mumbled and thought about the kiss in the hallway.

"Did I spoil your appetite?", she asked and started to laugh. "Don't worry, it will take long until you would be as fat as me."

"Y-you're not fat," Kurt said nervously.

"I am. I have a mirror at home, you know."

"You're not," Kurt said determinedly. "You have fat. Every person does. But that doesn't mean that you ARE fat. Fat is a thing, humans are no things."

Samantha smiled at Kurt, bent to him and pinched his cheek.

"You're cute!"

"... thanks."

"Tell me, Kurt, does Sebastian treat you well?"

Kurt tensed up and clenched two fists.

"Your brother is ... nice."

Samantha started to laugh and it seemed as if she would never stop.

 

"You'd be the first person to say that!", she mumbled and rubbed her watery eyes. "Be honest. Do I have to talk with him? Did he hurt you? I'm sure it wasn't his intention ... but he tends to do such things then and now."

Kurt was speechless. Sebastian's sister was such a nice person. A real sunshine.

"We had a rough start, but I guess it gets better. Well, at least I hope so."

"What did he do?"

"Nothing, I-"

"You can trust me!"

Kurt sighed and nodded his head.

"Sure. There were a few shitty situations. Sometimes I feel like we're two kids ... the one pushes the other and we play this game until someone gets really, really hurt and then we're mad at each other and later someone starts the provocation once more. And the game starts all over again."

"He is stubborn."

"Yes."

"And it's hard to understand him. He is pretty ... withdrawn."

Kurt nodded and stared down on his plate.

"I've never thought about him in that way," Kurt admitted and felt a bit guilty for provoking him so often.

"He pretends to be an asshole and he is really good with this kind of game."

Kurt laughed and Samantha smiled at him.

"Until yesterday I had no clue that he has any siblings."

"Oh, we are three. The firstborn football star, the fat sandwich child and the youngest, bisexual disappointment. Guess which one I am."

"The football star?"

Samantha became silent and then started to laugh uncontrollably. She had a beautiful laugh and Kurt realized that it was very easy to like her.

"You are really charming. No wonder that Sebastian lo-" She stopped talking and cleared her throat. "No wonder that he likes you."

"I'm not quite sure about that," Kurt mumbled, "most of the time I just think he wants to mock me."

"He changed so much when Mum died," Samantha said sadly and Kurt went pale.

 _No,_ he thought. _NO!? NO ... and I said that to him?_

"Your ... your mum is dead?"

"She died when he was a sophomore," she explained and Kurt felt tears flooding his eyes. "Dad and John, the football star, had always been of one mind. We were rather on Mum's side and when she was gone ... we only had each other."

Samantha leaned back in her chair and stared into the distance.

"A few months later, I graduated and went to college. I left him alone with these assholes."

Kurt reached his trembling hand out and laid it on Samantha's. She cried and Kurt was close to crying as well.

"I can't forgive me that I left him alone ..."

"I-I'm sure he doesn't hold it against you."

"Of course not. He always says that he would have done the same if he was the older one. That it was the right decision," she sobbed and put her other hand on Kurt's.

"Well, if he says that ..."

"But _I_ hold it against me ... I can't stop seeing it in this way."

Kurt sighed and didn't know what to say so he just sat there and cried while he held her hand.

 

"The hell are you two doing?", Sebastian suddenly asked, Laura on his hand. The little girl saw that Kurt cried, because he sat with his face to the door, so he stepped to him and looked at him. Samantha pulled her hands away, wiped away her tears and smiled to the girl when she turned around.

"Why are you crying?", she asked Kurt with big eyes.

"I feel like crying," he said and felt pitiful, because he couldn't stop with it.

"I cheer you up," the girl meant, took Kurt at his hand and pulled him out of the kitchen, "let's play hide and seek."

 

Sebastian sat on the chair where Kurt had been and puckered his brows.

"I can't get the picture out of my mind of you two holding each other and crying as if there were no tomorrow," Sebastian said and his sister smiled sadly.

"What were you talking about?"

"I told him some family stuff. About mum."

Sebastian held his breath and bit his lips.

"Why? I – that's none of his business."

"Sebby, you live with him-"

"Yeah, as his owner."

Samantha raised one brow and looked at him reproachfully.

"Sure. How often do you tell yourself that a day until you believe it? 10 times? 20?"

"You had no right to tell him."

"Are you afraid he could start to like you?"

"He wouldn't start to like me. He would feel pity for a guy who is long dead."

"Sebastian-"

"Shut up," Sebastian hissed, jumped up and went away.

 

He found Kurt and Laura in the hallway, running around.

"Kurt!", Sebastian screamed and it was even louder than he had intended to, "come here."

"One moment!", Kurt replied.

"NOW! That's an order."

Kurt looked at him, bent to the girl to tell her that he had to go and walked to Sebastian, crossing his arms.

"What?"

Sebastian gripped Kurt's arm harshly and went with him into the living room, where he closed the door.

"Kneel."

"Oh come one! I thought we were a step further-"

"Kneel!"

Kurt sighed, but did as Sebastian had said.

"I want you to forget everything Samantha told you about me or my family."

 

Kurt scrutinized Sebastian's frantic face and thought about what his sister had told him.

"Has your dad told you that you were too gentle or whom do you have to prove what a tough guy you are?"

"You know nothing!"

"Because you don't tell me anything!"

Sebastian sighed and sat down in an armchair, watching how Kurt didn't move a muscle.

"I just want to live my life without having to talk about my past. Why can't you all understand that I don't want to talk about it?", he asked and massaged his neck.

Kurt had to think about how horrible it must have been to be for Sebastian to lose his mother. And when he thought about that, he had to think about his own mother and felt dizzy.

"Sometimes I can't even remember my mum's face," Kurt suddenly whispered as he stared into the distance, "but I still hear her voice. I hear her voice so clear in my mind that I – sometimes I close my eyes and pretend she was still here, reading stories to me."

Sebastian furrowed his brow and walked to Kurt who started to cry again.

"But I can't remember anything else ... some days dad tells me about her ... he tells me things I don't know and I feel so horrible because of that."

Kurt held his breath when he felt arms around him, but he soon hugged Sebastian back and pressed eagerly against him.

"You don't have to feel horrible. You were so young when she left you."

Kurt didn't calm down so Sebastian hugged him even tighter.

"I don't remember my mum's face either. When I see a photo of her, it's a strange woman. I – I have memories of her and other people have other memories. We can't choose what we remember. That doesn't mean that you're a bad person."

Kurt pressed his nose against Sebastian's neck and sniveled.

"I'm afraid to completely forget her ..."

"You won't," Sebastian whispered. "You will always hear her voice, reading stories to you. You will think about that when you're 80. You will never forget that special moment. This moment, her voice belongs to you and no one can ever take that away from you."

 

When Sebastian looked up, he saw that Samantha was standing in the door frame and she formed a heart with her hands. He narrowed his eyes to slits and showed her his middle finger, making her laugh and blew him a kiss.

Sebastian smiled at his sister and kissed Kurt's neck when she was gone, feeling the need to kiss Kurt so much more and to tell him all the things he wanted to know.

 

But he knew it would make him feel weak talking about his family and his dark past.

And Sebastian hated nothing more than to be weak.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all your last reviews! :)  
> Please review this time as well and tell me what you want to happen!
> 
> I soon want to have a small, but important Burt story and I will include Blaine someday ... *SPOILER*  
> But I don't know what to write in the next chapter T_T  
> Help?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt has problems and Bas tries to help him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, here I am!  
> Thanks for your nice response!
> 
> *hugs you*
> 
> I have a flashback in this chapter, but not about Sebastian. It's about Kurt. I want to keep Sebastian's past a mystery as long as I can.

Saturday evening.

They were both sitting on the couch, a gap between them while watching a boring movie. Sebastian wanted to change the channel a long time ago, but he was just too lazy to get up. He didn't want to ask Kurt to do it either. They haven't talked with each other for hours.

They had eaten dinner but avoided to look at each other. Both were just too embarrassed by what had happened. Kurt telling Sebastian about his mother, Sebastian telling Kurt a bit about his, holding each other and both being so vulnerable.

Kurt and Sebastian had decided that not talking about it and just forget it, was the best way.

 

Kurt laid both hands on his aching stomach and opened his mouth to finally say what he had been thinking about for the past minutes, but Sebastian's phone rang, so he turned his face away and remained silent.

"Not today," Sebastian answered the phone and Kurt thought how strange that sounded.

"Not tomorrow either ... not next week, not next month. Never again," he said nervously and sat up.

"I told you my reasons to break up with you. I told you that having sex was okay. But only for one time. Get in your head that I'm not interested anymore."

Kurt looked to Sebastian and thought that he was a bit too rough.

"No – you told me that you were okay with just sex. And now you stalk me."

Sebastian leaned back and sighed, listening to whoever was at the other end of the phone.

"I told you that I don't love you. Don't cry. I never lied to you. Stop calling me."

He ended the call and laid the phone on the table before looking to Kurt who tried to avoid his gaze immediately.

 

"I broke up with her and met her one, two times after that. I asked her whether it was okay to have sex and she said yes. She should stop whining like a child."

"I didn't know you were bi," Kurt answered, not knowing what to say instead of that.

"Well, I tend to surprise myself often."

It got silent again and Sebastian saw how Kurt contorted his face.

"Yeah, I know everything I say annoys you-"

"It's not about you. My stomach hurts," Kurt explained and Sebastian realized the way Kurt pressed his hands on his lower body.

"What's wrong?"

Kurt bit his lips and lowered his head while he started to blush.

"I might get my period soon," he whispered and blushed even more, feeling so humiliated by admitting that.

Sebastian raised both brows and thought about it.

"You might?", he asked and Kurt swallowed nervously.

"I always had irregular periods ... it was fine when I was on the pill, but since these assholes refused to prescribe it to me, I struggle with the cycle again. The pain – never knowing when it starts ..."

Sebastian nodded his head and stood up. He turned the TV off and looked to Kurt who sheepishly made eye contact.

"Slip in your shoes, we need to go to a store."

Kurt puckered his brows.

"What?

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I have no tampons here."

Kurt's eyes widened and he couldn't help but smile slightly.

"You would buy tampons with me?"

"I can't let you go alone, can I?"

 

*

 

"Wait, why do you choose these?", Sebastian asked when they were in the store and Kurt took a pack tampons.

"I always use these."

Sebastian scanned the shelf with his eyes.

"Because they are the cheapest?"

Suddenly a man walked by them and Kurt gripped Sebastian's hand, his eyes on the ground.

"Relax," Sebastian reassured him and tugged lightly at his scarf, "they can't see the collar."

Kurt swallowed and nodded hesitantly. The scarf had been Sebastian's idea. He didn't want to have so much unnecessary attention as yesterday.

"We take also these," Sebastian meant and took another, more expensive pack out of the shelf, not leaving hold of Kurt's hand.

 

They were the only ones at the register and the cashier glanced up and down their bodies as the two men were only buying tampons.

"For my sister," Sebastian explained and squeezed Kurt's sweaty hand tighter.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled and shook her head, "I-I need to ... check your private parts."

"What?", Sebastian asked angrily and Kurt felt how his body temperature climbed while he literally could feel the ovum die inside of him.

"It's a new law from today. The 'find-the-rest-of-them-law'. I get in trouble if I see two men buying tampons and don't check what's obvious."

"What's obvious?", Sebastian asked and tensed up. America was really going under if a man couldn't buy tampons without the world assuming he had a vagina.

"Why would you buy tampons?"

"To shove it up the ass of bitches like -"

"I need them," Kurt interrupted Sebastian and shoved the scarf a bit down, showing the woman his collar.

"I see," she meant but looked then to Sebastian. "What about you?"

"Stand up and give me your hand."  


The woman hesitated and bit her lips as she reached out her hand and let Sebastian guide it down his jeans and to his cock. She blushed and looked to the ground.

"I'm so sorry, Sir," she muttered and pulled her hand away. "I-I hate this new law. It's worse than the ones before, but I need this job. I have three children-"

"Just give me the tampons and shut up."

 

*

 

Kurt woke up and saw directly out of the window. He slowly turned his head back to see that Sebastian was still sleeping. He needed to change his tampon urgently since the blood had started to run out of his body yesterday evening, so he yawned and sat up.

 

Kurt's heart skipped a beat when he shoved the blankets away and saw the red stain on the sheets.

"No," he whispered frantically and knelt down next to the bed. He pulled the sheets cautiously a bit away so that Sebastian didn't wake up and saw that even the mattress was soaked.

His vagina had ruined everything.

Again.

 

_Kurt felt Blaine's arms around him from behind and laid his hands on his boyfriend's. They had only a few days left until Kurt would leave him and go to New York. And as if leaving Blaine wouldn't hurt Kurt enough, he had also the feeling that Blaine didn't really care about Kurt not being there._

_And this drove him crazy._

_He removed Blaine's arms from him and stood up. He saw that his boxer shorts were soaked in blood and took a look at the sheets. When he realized that the mattress was as well ruined, he started to tremble._

_He hadn't had any pain or something. The period had surprised him, attacked him when he was asleep._

_His body was a bitch._

 

_ He ran into the bathroom, shoved a tampon in and pulled the dirty underwear up again. He hoped that he could save the mattress if he was fast enough. So he just made a washcloth wet and went back to Blaine's bedroom. He rubbed over the red stain again and again and started crying while doing so. Not being able to clean the mattress up, felt like not being able to let his vagina disappear. _

_Blaine moaned sullenly and opened his eyes._

_"What are you doing?"_

_"N-nothing, it's nothing. Go back to sleep!", Kurt stuttered and Blaine saw his tears. He woke slowly up and sat up, but before he could soothe his boyfriend, he realized what he was doing. And that he had ruined his mattress._

_"What have you done?", he asked angrily and Kurt bit his lips, rubbing even more eagerly at the spot._

_"I'm sorry, Blaine, it's not even time again. It just happened-"_

_"You ruined my mattress?"_

_Kurt froze and looked into his boyfriend's eyes which were so cold that Kurt cried even more._

_"I'm so sorry, Blaine."_

_Blaine raised one of his triangle-shaped eyebrows and crossed his arms, looking like he wanted to hear more. That's why Kurt stood up and bent to him, but Blaine's gaze found Kurt's crotch and he jumped up. Kurt covered his crotch immediately with both hands and lowered his head submissively._

_"You're so disgusting," Blaine hissed and leaned against the wall, looking Kurt over._

_"Don't you agree, Kurt?"_

_Kurt wiped away his tears and clenched two fists._

_"I didn't mean to ruin the sheets and the mattress. You know I love you," he breathed, but that wasn't what Blaine wanted to hear._

_"Don't you think that your cunt is disgusting? Don't you agree?"_

_"I do," Kurt sobbed and knelt down in front of the bed, covering his face while he was crying._

_"And you know I'm the only one who would ever stay with you, despite what's between your legs?"_

_"I do. I love you," he mumbled and felt Blaine stroking his cheek._

_"You're so beautiful when you cry," Blaine said and tilted his head. "If you only had a cock."_

_"I buy you a new mattress."_

_"Of course you will."_

 

_Kurt nodded, stood up and made his way to the bathroom where he doused his shorts in the sink. He soon felt Blaine's hands from behind, pinching his nipples while he kissed his neck. Kurt tensed up and watched his boyfriend's reflection in the mirror, not quite sure what he was up to._

 

_He was completely sure as soon as he felt his erection between his butt cheeks and lowered his head._

_"I'm not in the mood, Blaine," he tried, but Blaine digged his nails so hard into his cheeks that it hurt._

_"You damaged my mattress," he held it against Kurt while he bit down on his shoulder._

_"I'm really sorry for that."_

_"What does your regret do for me?" he asked and moved his thumb up and down on Kurt's rim._

_"N-nothing," Kurt replied and felt another tear rolling down his face as he saw in the mirror how Blaine started to grin._

_"I'm sure you want me to forgive you, right?"_

_Kurt pressed his lips together and held the sink so hard that his knuckles hurt._

_"Yes."_

_Blaine pushed his dry forefinger up Kurt's ass and Kurt tensed more up, but tried to stay still. He hated the feeling of anything in his ass. But nothing burned as much as when Blaine shoved a dry finger hin._

_"Blaine," Kurt whispered and turned a bit, but Blaine used his other hand to hold him._

_"Still not in the mood?", he asked and turned his finger around, making Kurt cry in pain._

_ "I'm sorry, just do it. Do whatever you want," he sniveled and sighed in relief when Blaine pulled his finger out. But all relief vanished when he felt the head of Blaine's cock pressing painfully in his unstretched and dry hole. _

_"Blaine, please. You need to prepare me!"_

_"Do you tell me what I need to do?", he asked and held Kurt's hips when he pushed further in and heard how Kurt cried._

_"No, I don't. But please stretch me ... and where's the lube?"_

_"No lube today," Blaine just replied and jerked his hips forward, causing his cock to move a few inches deeper._

_Kurt tried to relax, tried to forget the pain, but it was impossible._

_"Blaine, please. It hurts so much."_

_"Why don't you try, just for one day, to be the man you're not?", Blaine asked and held Kurt's gaze through the mirror. "Why don't you take me like a man?"_

_Blaine pushed his cock deeper in and Kurt let his head sink down. He saw his tears falling down in the water and mixing with the blood as Blaine abused his hole._

 

Kurt ran into the bathroom, changed the tampon and made a washcloth wet. He didn't have time to change his underwear, he just pulled the dirty panties up and went back to Sebastian's bedroom where he knelt on the floor, rubbed violently over the red stain and cried.

 

Sebastian soon woke up and looked at Kurt with a confused expression.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, it's nothing. Go back to sleep!", Kurt meant but started to cry uncontrollably now. He knew this scene. He knew what would happen.

Humiliation and Pain.

Lots of pain.

 

"Someone had a heavy blood flow," Sebastian meant with a grin when he saw the blood on the mattress but right when he said that, he saw Kurt's tears and wanted to slap himself.

"H-hey, why are you crying?", he asked and sat up, watching how Kurt rubbed with the washcloth over the stain.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm sorry. So sorry."

Sebastian held his breath

"You're not apologizing for having a menstruation, right?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Kurt said again and again, rubbing the wet cloth over the mattress.

"Kurt, hey," Sebastian whispered and pressed his fingers on Kurt's wet hands to make him stop, "look at me!"

Kurt swallowed hard and raised his tear-stained face to Sebastian and looking in his frantic eyes made Sebastian feel sick.

"There's nothing to apologize for."

Kurt raised one brow and looked away, but Sebastian gripped his chin and pulled it into his direction.

"That's just a mattress. Such things happen." He smiled at him and tried to encourage him, but Kurt looked like he wouldn't understand one word Sebastian was saying.

"My sister has so heavy periods she should buy a new mattress each month. No matter how many tampons and sanitary pads she uses, the blood always finds a way."

 

"I'm sorry," Kurt said once more, but seemed to be calmer. "I buy you a new mattress."

"You don't have any money. And I'm gonna punch you if you apologize once more."

Kurt nodded his head and looked down to the red spot, starting to cry again.

"I didn't want to ruin your mattress."

Sebastian sighed, crawled over the bed and knelt next to Kurt, pulling him into his arms.

"Don't – I'm dirty. Everywhere is blood, everywhere."

He tried to get out of Sebastian's arms, but he didn't let him, so Kurt gave up and pressed himself against Sebastian while he whined.

"I'm sorry."

Sebastian reached down to Kurt's butt and slapped him. Kurt was so surprised that he stopped crying and tensed up.

"I told you I'd hit you if you said that again." He squeezed Kurt's trembling body in his arms and wished there was a way to cheer Kurt up.

"Why can't you simply accept that part of your body?"

"Because it's disgusting," Kurt replied and snuggled up to Sebastian.

"Who said that?"

"Many people."

"Blaine?"

Kurt closed his eyes and fought with himself. He wasn't sure whether he could trust Sebastian or not.

 

"Yes, Blaine too."

"He's an idiot," Sebastian said and Kurt laughed with tears in his eyes.

"I know. It took me years to figure out that I deserve more."

"Hold on," Sebastian meant, gripped Kurt at his shoulders and pushed him away, to look in his eyes, "repeat what you just said."

"Let me be," Kurt mumbled and looked down to his bloody panties.

"Repeat it!"

"I-I deserve more," Kurt stuttered reluctantly.

"Exactly," Sebastian agreed and stroked Kurt's wet cheeks, "you deserve ..." He stopped talking and thought about it. "You deserve a big theatre on Broadway, filled with people giving you standing ovations and not letting you go home because they want to hear more of you. Because they know that you are a star."

Kurt blinked back his tears and looked in Sebastian's warm green eyes. He couldn't explain what he felt. It was a kind of happiness and confusion, but whatever it was, it made him sit up, take Sebastian's head in his hands and kiss his lips.

 

Sebastian didn't respond to the kiss. He thought that Kurt wasn't himself and no matter why he was kissing him, that wasn't how Sebastian wanted it to be.

Kurt pulled himself away.

"You don't kiss back?", he asked and hated that this fact hurt him so much. Sebastian laid his hands on Kurt's sides, not wanting him to feel unwanted.

"I don't think that it's the right time," he tried to explain while Kurt slapped his hands away and stood up.

"I gross you out."

"Damn it, Kurt! What do you want? If I touch you, you freak out, if I don't, you're sad?"

"You think I'm disgusting. Yeah, that's what you think," Kurt mumbled to himself and walked to the bathroom. Sebastian followed him, but got into a panic when the door was locked.

"Kurt? Kurt, what are you doing?", he asked and hit his fists against the door.

"Washing me and changing my panties. Do you want to watch, Sir? So that you can laugh at me?"

"Kurt, I – you don't have to call me like that," he whispered sadly as he realized that Kurt was building up a wall between them again.

"I wanted to kiss you," Sebastian admitted. "I did. I – I always do."

He held a breath and leaned his forehead against the door.

"But you just kissed me because you were so sad and so confused and I didn't want to take advantage of that situation. I hurt you so much in the past days and I'm so sorry for that. I don't want to use you any longer, that's why I didn't kiss back. Not because I don't want you."

Sebastian fell into Kurt's arms when this one suddenly opened the door.

"And if I tell you that I want to kiss you because I like your taste and I really feel like kissing you, would that change the situation?", Kurt asked while Sebastian straightened himself and scanned Kurt's naked chest and the black panties with the white hearts on the cloth.

"It would."

Kurt smiled, tilted his head up and enjoyed the way Sebastian closed his eyes and opened his lips, ready for a kiss.

"A great pity that this will never happen," Kurt breathed and passed Sebastian who built two fists and smiled at Kurt's skills to do seductive things and then let him fall.

 

He should've stayed in the bathroom for at least one second, but he turned around and followed Kurt, feeling betrayed in his ego.

 

Kurt was removing the sheets when Sebastian gripped him at his waist and slammed him against the wall. The half-naked man didn't fight back, he just grinned wickedly at Sebastian.

"Or maybe I didn't kiss you because I don't want you to surrender yourself to me. I want to take you."

Kurt realized how Sebastian's expression changed when he scanned Kurt's body.

"I could force you."

"You would fuck a bloody vagina?"

"That's not the only hole you have," Sebastian replied and Kurt went pale thinking about his horrible past as Blaine Anderson's boyfriend.

"Okay," Kurt said briefly and turned around, showing Sebastian his back, "do it! Fuck my ass! Don't bother to use lube or stretch me, I'm just a Toy anyway!"

 

"Did Blaine fuck your ass without lube?", Sebastian asked and Kurt closed his eyes, trying to fill his lungs with air what felt like a challenge.

"Don't talk about him, just fuck me and shut up."  
"I don't want you like that."

"I don't want you at all!", Kurt yelled and turned around again, his cheeks flushed and his eyes watery. "No one would ever want to be touched by such an ugly face."

Sebastian looked to the ground and smiled when he raised his head again.

"You're just as me. You hurt others by trying to hide your own feelings. Your pain."

Kurt pressed his lips together and took a deep breath.

"You think when the others have to deal with their own pain, they don't recognize your weakness. But I do."

"So?", Kurt asked and crossed his arms in front of his naked chest. "What is my weakness?"

"You think no one could ever love you the way you are."

One tear ran down his cheek when he turned his face away.

"T-that's not true-"

"It is. You leeched on to an abusive boyfriend for how many years? Six? Seven?"

"Stop it," Kurt muttered and wanted to walk away, but Sebastian pushed him only harder against the wall.

"You leeched on to him because you were afraid that you'd end up alone."

"Oh, shut up!"

"Why don't you get that gender is unimportant and that there are people who will always love you no matter how you look like?"

"Who would that be?"

Sebastian started to sweat.

"Your dad ..."

"Go on."

"Uhm ... Rachel?"

"Rachel broke off contact with me when my show got cancelled."

_ I, you idiot! I love you!,  _ Sebastian thought but released Kurt.

"I don't know the names of all your friends."

"There is Mercedes, but she is so busy with her career, we haven't talked with each other for years. I'm sure she loves me, but she doesn't really care about me. Puck has gone underground, Sam is with Mercedes on her tour. Blaine cleared the guy who used to be my best friend out. That's it. These are my friends. They have lives and I don't belong to them."

"I don't have many friends either. My sister is my only friend."

"And now? Are we weirdos?"

"I just don't like people so much," Sebastian meant sadly and Kurt started to walk away and dress up.

 

He was in the kitchen and stood in front of the open fridge when Sebastian passed him.

"I'm going for a walk," he mumbled as he reached the front door. Kurt felt bad. Sebastian had only wanted to cheer him up when he was crying and what has Kurt done?

He provoked him ...

"Wait, Sebastian!", Kurt yelled and started to run after him. He opened the door and saw how Sebastian locked the gate and walked away.

"Sebastian!"

He was gone when Kurt reached the iron bars. Kurt let out a deep sigh and rattled at the gate, but it was no use.

"So it's true," a familiar and so feared voice suddenly said and Kurt looked up to where the sound came from.

"He was faster than me. In the end," Blaine said with a grin and looked up and down Kurt's body.

 

Kurt laid his fingers nervously on his collar and felt the urge to disappear. He hadn't seen Blaine since three years and yet had his face always found a way to haunt him in his dreams.

"You look good ... with that collar on you," Blaine said patronizingly and wanted to lay his hands on Kurt's which were still on the bars, but he pulled them away before Blaine could touch him.

"Still angry? I really expected you to come back to me sooner or later, but when they established that law-"

Kurt simply turned around and started to walk away.

_ Don't listen to him, _ Kurt told himself. _ Just walk away. He's a dick. This didn't happen. _

"Does daddy know about that?", he asked and Kurt stood still. Blaine's grin grew wider as he continued with talking. "I'm sure he has no clue that you got enslaved. What do you think he would do if someone told him?"

Kurt turned slowly around, his hands were fists and he feared Blaine would say more.

He feared that whatever he'd say it would make him yell at this asshole and lose his control.

 

Blaine leaned against the gate, looking more relaxed with every second Kurt was more strained.

"Do you think he'd have another heart attack if he knew?"

"Don't you dare to say one word to him!", Kurt hissed and walked back. "No one needs to know about that."

"I think your commanding tone is kinda inappropriate," he laughed. "I don't plan to tell someone that you're here, though. What about your ex-fans? Or all your ex-bullies? They would stand around this stupid hedge the whole day and stalk you."

Kurt crossed his arms and pressed his lips together while he was fighting against the need to bow his head.

"I don't want to cause you trouble. I just want ..." He stopped talking and looked Kurt over, giving him the feeling to be naked. "I want a little favor. After all, we have been engaged."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Blaine is an asshole ...
> 
> please let me know what you think about it and what you want to happen! It's always inspiring to hear your wishes!  
> xo


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine's a dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!
> 
> Thank you so much for your reviews and support!  
> ^-^
> 
> This chapter is pretty rough (again)  
> And I want to apologize for the warning I've had in my description for long. It made it look like I was thinking that non-con touching was okay, as long as there is no penetration. But that's absolutely not what I think.  
> Non-con touching, sexual assault, sexism, racism and all the things are horrible (not gonna list what I despise).  
> I'm a righteous person.  
> I hate violence.  
> I hate to write such scenes.  
> But I do love drama.
> 
> So- sorry if I offended you. That's wasn't my intention.  
> And this chapter is really pretty triggering (rape-technical).  
> Be warned.

"A favor?", Kurt asked anxiously and stared into Blaine's smiling face. Kurt realized that Blaine changed his style a bit. He was wearing plain jeans, a white shirt and a dark leather jacket. His curls weren't as gelled as they used to be. Kurt was almost sure he didn't use any gel at all and he hated the feeling to admit that Blaine looked good.

"Why don't we talk inside?"

"I can't let you in ... even if I wanted to, I couldn't."

"He locks you in?"

Kurt lowered his head although a voice in his head screamed at him that he shouldn't do that.

"Has he fucked you already?", Blaine asked straight ahead and strengthened his grip around the iron bars.

Kurt furrowed his brow and shook his head hesitantly.

_Why do you even answer him? Ignore him!_

Blaine smiled and scratched his neck.

"And within the three years? Any boyfriends?"

Kurt gripped his biceps.

"No," he whispered and bit his lips then. He hated himself so much for giving Blaine any answers.

"One-night stands?"

"Three or four," Kurt replied with a wobbly voice and felt tears flooding his eyes. Why did he have to feel so inferior when he was with Blaine? Why did he feel the urge to apologize for the few times he had sex with someone else?

 

"You didn't get involved with somebody, because you knew you belong to me," Blaine breathed through the bars and loved the sight of Kurt's frantic eyes when he looked back up.

"I don't belong to anybody!"

"Said the Toy with a collar around its neck."

Kurt sniveled, turned around and wanted to walk away again. Hearing Blaine saying these words made him feel sick. Bad enough when anybody called him 'Toy', but when Blaine said that, it tormented him mercilessly.

 

"Don't walk away! Or do you want me to tell your dad that a group of SM lovers purchased you and rape you every day and night while they film it and upload the videos?"

Kurt stood still and couldn't hold back his tears when he turned to Blaine once more.

"T-that's not even true."

Blaine smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

"But just thinking about that would hit him hard. Or I tell him the truth. He knows how much you hate Sebastian."

"Say what you want and piss off!", Kurt mumbled, but with less determination than minutes before and walked back to his ex-fiancé.

"I want you."

Kurt shoved his heads in his pockets and raised both brows with surprise.

"Me?"

"Of course. You're my soulmate."

He cried more when he lowered his head and tried to ignore the mix of all the memories of their time together. All the images of Blaine being cute and mean.

"I'm not your soulmate. You had to have a soul for having a matching mate."

Blaine laughed uncontrollably.

"I missed your humor."

"I mean it."

"I missed all of you ..."

"No, you didn't. You would've called if you-"

"I love you."

Kurt got so angry that he stopped crying. He could only concentrate on this bastard in front of him.

"Loving means being faithful. You cheated on me. Often!"

"We've been through this," Blaine said and lifted his hands innocently, "I wouldn't cheat on you if you had a dick. Sometimes I need something up my ass."

Kurt laughed, swallowed and raised his head further.

"You're a child, Blaine. A little whiny child that blames everybody else but himself. I'm not your doormat. I used to be it long enough."

Blaine raised one brow, laughed and clapped his hands.

"How often have you rehearsed to say these sentences like that?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes to slits and licked his lips. He hated that Blaine never took him seriously. He hated Blaine's manner. He hated that he had been in love with this person.

"Well, sorry I think I can't do you the favor."

"Fine. I'mma call Burt."

"Please, don't!", Kurt begged and gripped Blaine's jacket to hold him back when he wanted to leave. Kurt blushed ashamedly when Blaine grinned at him and took his hand in his.

"Daddy's little boy, huh?", Blaine laughed and Kurt wanted to pull his hand away, but Blaine didn't let him.

 

"Let him go," Sebastian suddenly said and Kurt's face lit up.

"Sebastian!", he whispered cheerfully and used Blaine's astonishment to pull himself away.

"Sebastian. I'm here to make an offer-"

"You can't have him," Sebastian said as he stepped closer and pulled the keys out of his pocket. "I won't comp, sell or rent him out. To nobody." He opened the gate and closed and locked it again before Blaine could step in.

"Are you okay?", he asked Kurt and stroked cautiously over his cheek.

"Yeah," Kurt whispered and took Sebastian's hand in his. He looked him in the eyes and couldn't even express how thankful he was that he was back again.

 

"Let me in, Sebastian," Blaine muttered angrily as he stared down to their hands. "I'm sure Kurt agrees to let me in."

Sebastian laughed, but his smile vanished when he saw Kurt's whiny face.

"What's going on?"

"He blackmails me. He will tell dad horrible lies about me if I don't-" He stopped talking and took a deep breath when he turned his gaze to Blaine who nodded at him with a smile.

"If you don't do what? Suck his dick?", Sebastian asked distastefully and squeezed Kurt's hand.

"We can talk inside," Blaine suggested and Sebastian looked to Kurt who nodded with watery eyes.

"Let him in, Sebastian."

 

Sebastian couldn't believe that Blaine really blackmailed the guy he claimed to love.

"How did you even find him?", he asked the curly head as he unlocked the gate and opened it.

"I was looking for him for months," he replied and stepped on the path. "You weren't in our old loft," he said to Kurt and started to walk to him, his hands outstretched.

Sebastian stepped between them, gripped Kurt's hand and pulled him after him into his house.

"The fuck are we supposed to do?", he whispered to Kurt who shrugged his shoulders. He had absolutely no idea. The only thing that came in his mind was to call his dad before Blaine would do. He could tell him the simple truth, but as soon as he'd say 'Sebastian Smythe' and 'enslaved' Burt would have a heart attack.

"I don't know," he answered in a whisper. "Maybe I could just ... for one night-"

"Are you mad?"

"He's not a stranger."

"That's even worse. He is the guy who broke your heart."

 

They reached the hallway and Sebastian shoved Kurt behind him when he faced Blaine who closed the door.

"Nice house. Daddy's money?", Blaine asked and Sebastian folded his arms in front of his chest.

"You're not going to believe this, but some of us have to actually work for their money."

Blaine smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"You seem so mad, Sebastian, what's wrong? Haven't you got your money's worth yet with your latest purchase?"

Kurt wanted to say something, but Sebastian outpaced him.

"Kurt is not a purchase," he meant and Kurt puckered his brows. _Since when do you think that, Sebastian?,_ he thought and didn't know why his head felt even dizzier than before.

"He has feelings, you know."

"I know more about his feelings than you ever will," Blaine whispered and started to grin.

"Well, 'he' knows himself the best," Kurt muttered and stepped next to Sebastian. "And now say what you want to keep your mouth shut."

"As I said, I want you."

"You can't have him," Sebastian retorted and gripped Kurt's hand. Blaine held his breath, but smiled as he scanned Kurt's confused expression.

"Sebastian, don't be so stupid, look at his face."

Sebastian raised one brow.

"Look at him."

With a sigh, Sebastian turned his face to Kurt and watched how he stared at the ground, tears in his eyes.

"Stop thinking about going with him!", he yelled.

"M-my dad-"

"Why don't you tell him the truth?"

"If I told him that I'm with you, he – he ..." Kurt bit his lips and Sebastian released his hand while Blaine was amused by this scene.

"What? He hates me? And why? What have you told him about me?"

"Just what happened in High School."

"I wasn't that horrible."

"You tried to steal Blaine away."

Blaine laughed as Sebastian nodded his head and smiled sadly.

"Yes, Sebastian. You tried to steal me away."

"We both know better ... but whatever. It won't happen again. You know what, go with him," Sebastian breathed and shook his head. "Go, be his sextoy, I don't care."

 

He slowly turned around and closed his eyes. He couldn't believe that this was happening. That he finally had approached to Kurt and yet again was Blaine here but the worst was that Kurt still seemed to be attracted to him.

"You want me to go?", Kurt asked in a low voice and stared at Sebastian's back when he felt Blaine's hand on his waist. He didn't even try to bend away when Blaine held him so tight, he just felt horrible. So used and worthless.

He had tried to run after Sebastian and ran against his ex.

That's how his life always had been.

He was looking for luck and found the devil.

 

"What have you expected, Kurt?", Blaine asked and kissed Kurt's cheek. Kurt didn't know what to say or how to feel. Sebastian was so different this day and yesterday. He was gentle and Kurt couldn't forget that they kissed yesterday. He couldn't forget what he had said about that he deserved more.

 

"Sebastian, I can't tell my dad that I'm not free anymore. Not now. He and Carole have a rough time I can't tell him that-"

"Don't you get it?", Blaine asked and pulled Kurt against him. "I always told you I'm the only one who really likes you."

Sebastian turned to them again and shrugged his shoulders. He had watery eyes and looked so distraught that Kurt felt close to crying as well just by looking at him.

"Sebastian, don't be mad! I just want to keep my dad safe," Kurt tried to explain himself. He didn't know why, but he really wanted Sebastian to know that he would choose him. But in his opinion he hadn't much of a choice.

"Sure," he whispered.

"H-how long do you want me to stay with you?", Kurt asked Blaine, who grinned at the feeling of an upcoming victory.

"Forever."

Kurt swallowed and stepped to Sebastian, but Blaine gripped his waist and held him.

"May I at least say goodbye?"

"Okay, keep it short," he whispered, released him and slapped his butt lightly.

 

It felt strange standing in front of Sebastian who had his head lowered. Kurt didn't know what to do so he just hugged him tight and tried to forget that his heart gave him the feeling to die.

"I wish I had a gun," Sebastian whispered in Kurt's ear so that only he could hear it, "I'd kill him."

"He's not worth the bullet, or that you go to jail," Kurt whispered back. "Don't worry about me. I'm a big boy." And although he wanted to say sorry, he ended the hug and turned to Blaine without looking in Sebastian's eyes one last time.

 

*

 

"You will like my apartment," Blaine said and kept talking while he drove the car. Kurt didn't listen. He just sat in the passenger seat and looked out of the window, staring at the buildings of LA.

"How could you find me? I don't get it."

Blaine laughed a bit.

"I have friends in the auction house. And I gave them your name and a personal description. They should call me if you showed up there. But I was in a meeting when I got the text so I was late and when I arrived, you were already gone."

"Would've you really called dad?"

"I'll still call him when you don't do what I tell you," he said cheerfully and Kurt laid a hand on his stomach. He realized that he had no tampons with him and he doubted that Blaine would either have some at home or go shopping with him. He could almost see another mattress getting dirty and himself getting hurt because of that.

 

*

 

"Kurt?"

"Um no ... it's Sebastian. Sebastian Smythe."

Burt was silent and Sebastian started to sweat. Was it really the right choice to call him?

"That's the number Kurt kept calling me the past days."

"Yeah, it's my mobile," he replied and cleared his throat.

"Mister Hummel, I need to tell you something."

"Where is my son? Is he alright?"

Sebastian tensed up and took a deep breath.

"Do you want to sit down?"

"Do you want to tell me where my son is!?", Burt almost screamed and Sebastian bit his lips.

"He's with Blaine, right now."

 

*

 

"What do you say?", Blaine asked as he pushed Kurt into his apartment. Kurt looked around and shrugged his shoulders.

"Nice," he answered spiritlessly and felt Blaine's hand from behind brushing over his chest.

"Your new home."

"I don't love you anymore, Blaine. I hate you, to be honest," Kurt said because he needed to tell him. He knew Blaine wouldn't care about that, but he wanted at lest to express his feelings.

"You're not only a horrible boyfriend, you're also a horrible human."

"And yet do you love me."

Kurt shook his head and turned to Blaine, but got pushed into an armchair.

"You have enormous problems with listening to people," he whispered as Blaine knelt on the armrests and took Kurt's head in his hands. Kurt lowered his gaze and felt tears in his eyes. Being touched by Blaine was unbelievable painful. Because with every touch he was reminded of his own stupidity.

Of all the years he wasted when he thought being Blaine's doormat was love.

"You won't run away once more," Blaine breathed and pressed a cold kiss on Kurt's lips. "I could tell your dad horrible things. We both know how sensitive he is when it's about you."

 

*

 

"You ... what? You b-bought MY SON?"

"I didn't hurt him. Well, I – not much. But we had a talk and I told him that I was sorry for my behavior at the beginning and years ago. We-" _We even kissed,_ Sebastian thought but shook his head. "We're not enemies anymore."

"And he went with Blaine because he thought my heart wouldn't survive hearing that he is ... en-enslaved?"

"Exactly."

Burt was silent again.

"Mister Hummel, are you still here?"

"I'm here."

"Everything your son told you about me is true. I was an asshole - I still am. But when I saw him on that stage I only wanted to keep him safe. And as soon as he was at my home I realized that he hates me. I realized that I would never have him like that and that's why I wanted to own him ... at least. And I forced him to do things ... but I was wrong. So, so wrong. Anyway, I'm glad I told you ... he doesn't deserve that this bastard touches him."

Sebastian stopped talking and felt his heart racing when Burt was yet again completely still.

"Mister Hummel? Please don't tell me you just had a heart attack!"

"My heart is fine. Well, not fine. But it still beats."

"Mister Hummel, I'm really sorry for hurting your son-"

"Sebastian. If you really care about him: Hang up now and get him away from Blaine. Blaine is Kurt's raw point. Every minute he is with Blaine hurts more than a day being bullied by – hello? Are you still there?"

 

*

 

Kurt cried when he was in Blaine's bed and he kept undressing him. Kissing him. But it got even worse when he started singing Teenage Dream.

"Please stop it."

"♪Let's go all the way tonight♪", he sang and pulled Kurt's jeans down his legs.

"Blaine-"

"♪No regrets, just love♪"

"Blaine, stop singing that song," Kurt begged and sniveled.

"He makes you wear panties?", he asked as he brushed over the cloth on Kurt's crotch.

"I have my period. We can't have sex," Kurt tried and sat up, but Blaine pressed him back in the mattress.

"You know that's not the hole I'm interested in."

"I really don't get you. You don't love me. Why is it such a turn on for you when you hurt me?", Kurt wanted to know when Blaine turned him roughly around on his stomach and pulled his underwear down his butt.

"I love you, Kurt. You know that."

"I don't." Kurt pressed his head into a pillow and cried silently.

"You do. And you love me too. You always loved me. You're mine. You have no other choice than to love me."

 

Blaine was still completely clothed when he laid on Kurt's naked body and bit his earlobe, causing Kurt to cry even more.

"A-and another thing – the premiere of my show," Kurt started with a wobbly voice when felt Blaine's erection against his butt. He wanted to talk as long with Blaine as he could.

To put off the horrible thing.

"What about it?"

Kurt wanted to turn his head back, but Blaine pressed his neck into the mattress to pin him down.

"H-have you seen red flowers from Sebastian?"

"What?"

"A flower bouquet with red roses. From Sebastian. You were in my room before me. Have you seen it?"

He felt how Blaine sat up on Kurt's thighs and started to knead his butt cheeks.

"I did."

Kurt tried again to turn around, but Blaine just digged his nails into Kurt's flesh and he decided to lie still.

"I saw it and threw it away."

"What?"

Blaine laughed lightly and slapped Kurt's butt.

"It was so pathetic. I think he tried to joke and wrote something about Craigslist. I don't know. I didn't get it."

"You had no right to throw my flowers away," Kurt hissed and felt another slap on his butt.

"I have every right to do anything to you because you're mine. I don't want other men talking to you, and much less if they send you flowers. No right ... God Kurt, you became bitchy within these three years."

Kurt blinked his tears back and fought against the need to apologize.

 _No,_ he thought. _There's nothing to apologize for._

_I don't deserve that._

_I don't deserve that!_

_I deserve a big theatre on Broadway, filled with people giving me standing ovations ..._

"I'm not bitchy. But you should go to a therapist. You're sick."

Blaine stood up, but Kurt didn't dare to turn around. He thought he was fetching lube or something. He knew better when he felt the whip on his back.

"Let me guess? If I don't obey you will call my dad?"

"Such a clever boy," Blaine laughed and continued to whip Kurt on his thighs, butt, back and even on his feet. Kurt bit into the pillow and tried to think about something different. Something beautiful. He saw his dad peacefully sitting in his couch, Carole in his arms. And then he saw Sebastian smiling at him.

But this picture made him feel sick.

 

Blaine sighed when the door bell rang and left the bedroom.

Kurt could hear different voices and started to tremble when he heard how the door got opened.

"Here is it," a guy screamed and Kurt looked around to see a policeman. He blushed and sat up, pulling the blankets over his naked body.

Three other men stepped into the room and with them Sebastian. Kurt sighed in relief and started to smile, still tears in his eyes.

"Sebastian," he whispered cheerfully as he walked to him.  
"Stop, we need to make sure that it is really yours," a man interrupted him and stood between them. Sebastian pulled his title deed out of his pocket and gave it to the man. He turned around and compared the number with the number on Kurt's collar.

"Okay," he agreed and let Sebastian pass. He sat to Kurt on the bed and hugged him gently.

And for Kurt the time stand still.

 

"Sebastian. T-thank you so much," he sobbed and stroked Sebastian's back. "Thank you."

The policemen went out of the room and Sebastian started to collect Kurt's clothes from the ground and throw it to him.

"I told them that Blaine stole you. He will have to pay a fine, but besides that everything is okay. Can you believe that?", he asked angrily and turned his back to Kurt when he started to dress himself.

"But Sebastian, my dad-"

"I called him and told him everything," Sebastian said and Kurt held his breath. "I know you didn't want that. But it's for the best."

He stopped talking and slowly turned to Kurt who wiped away his tears.

"His heart is okay. He is okay."

Kurt lowered his head and continued with sobbing when Sebastian pulled him into another hug.

"Stop crying, he is okay."

"I'm so embarrassed. I'm such a shame. I – he doesn't deserve to be the father of a slave .... of a Toy."

"God, Kurt you should hear you talking," Sebastian mumbled and squeezed him a bit more.

"Let's go. We talk at home, okay?"

Kurt nodded and let Sebastian guide him out of the room and through the living room to the door.

"You will regret that," Blaine said to them. He was simply sitting on his couch while the men were talking with him. "Bitterly regret it."

 

*

 

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I didn't want to embarrass you. I just told him the truth," Sebastian started when they were in his house again walked up the stairs.

"Maybe you were right. But I couldn't tell him," Kurt whispered. "I couldn't. I tried to, but every time I wanted to say it, my mouth was dry and my heart so heavy that I almost started to cry."

 

Sebastian reached the next storey and turned to Kurt to reach him his hand. Kurt took it and stepped in front of him, smiling sadly.

"I'm so sorry. I can't even tell you how much I hate myself that I treated you the way I did. That I was just as awful as him."  
Kurt squeezed his hand and shook his head with a sigh.

"I'm so tired. Can we talk about that tomorrow?"

"Sure. But I hope you're not so tired that you can't even pack some stuff?"

Kurt puckered his brows and followed Sebastian into his bedroom where he pulled some bags out of his wardrobe.

"Pack? Why?"

"I called Sammy and she booked us two flights to Ohio."

Kurt raised his brows and although he wanted to smile, he only felt tears.

"Ohio?"

"Why don't you visit your dad for a while? A week, or two. Or do you have other plans? You will have to take me with you, but I can stay in a hotel or something."

Kurt laughed with watery eyes and shook his head eagerly.

"But what about your job?"

"I deserve a vacation."

Kurt couldn't help – he hugged Sebastian tenderly and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"Don't do such things," Sebastian retorted, but grinned slightly, "I could think you liked me."

"Maybe I do," Kurt whispered and smiled when he started to pack his bag.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Please tell me what you think about this chapter and what you want to happen in the next! I already wrote a few sentences. Burt - Sebastian interaction :)))  
> xo
> 
> Oh and I wanted to inform you that I usually update at the weekends. So a new chapter every week (if I have time to write)  
> :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian is not Blaine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few Sebastian flashbacks *o*  
> flashbacks are italic
> 
> They are NOT in chronological order.  
> (I was never ready to love Sebastian so much...)
> 
> Oh and because of Sebastian's sexual orientation: Right now, he is bisexual. Back then in High School he was only interested in boys so he thought he was gay.
> 
> I will explain it in the story later, but just that you aren't confused.
> 
> And it's a pretty big chapter, I hope you are happy about it!

 

Kurt felt very uncomfortable at both airports. In LA and in Lima. He wore a scarf but they had to show their passes and his collar so often. More than he could stand.

 

They arrived Lima in the morning of the new week when the sun hadn't set yet and while Kurt was asking Sebastian whether they wanted to go by taxi, he saw his dad standing outside on the parking.

"Oh God!", Kurt screamed, dropped his back and ran to his dad. "Dad, Dad, oh my God!"

"Hi, son!", Burt laughed and hugged Kurt so tight he had the feeling to suffocate.

"Dad, I missed you so much ..." Kurt started to cry when he held his father in his arms. It had been months since he saw him the last time.

"I missed you too, Kurt," Burt whispered. "So much."

Burt raised his gaze and saw Sebastian walking to them, holding their two bags.

"What about him? He said he hurt you?", Burt asked solicitously and pushed Kurt away, holding his shoulders tight.

"It's okay now," Kurt replied weakly and rubbed his watery eyes.

"You shouldn't forgive these people, Kurt. You should never forgive people who use the weakness of someone."

 

Sebastian reached them and stood nervously in front of Kurt's dad, reaching out his hand.

"Hi, Mister Hummel."

"Hello," he said, but didn't take his hand, he just laid his arm around Kurt, judging the man in front of him.

"Dad," Kurt whispered and pinched his arm lightly, but yet he didn't give his hand to Sebastian.

"Are you hungry? You look so pale and you lost some weight again!", he said to his son, ignoring Sebastian completely.

"I'm fine. I think we're just tired," he said and looked to Sebastian whose eyes stared to the ground and Kurt felt kinda sad about that. "What about you Sebastian? Are you hungry?"

"No. I just need some sleep."

"Fine," Kurt mumbled and pressed himself against his dad.

 

*

 

Sebastian felt out of place like never before.

Not exactly like never before.

He felt out of place like when he was in High School.

Not only that Kurt was with his family now, being in Lima reminded Sebastian of his own dad. And that made him feel sick.

 

_"Seriously?", Sebastian asked when he walked into the kitchen in the morning and saw that there were only two plates on the laid table. It was the day after he and his dad spoke about his boyfriend and Sebastian being gay._

_His Dad and his older brother stayed both silent and Sebastian felt tears in his eyes. It was five months since his mother was dead. But he still couldn't believe it. He could never get used to the feeling of walking around in the house and finding her nowhere. Neither could he live with the knowledge that his sister went to college and he was alone amongst these two people. He had never felt like these two had been his family. What had been is family was now under the ground and miles away._

_"Fine!", he hissed, picked an apple and left the house, heading to school._

 

_They ignored him for weeks, until Sebastian and his boyfriend broke up._

_Sebastian loved him._

_He would've never wanted to be without him, but Alexander just said: "You're cute, really. But you're always so depressed and it's not my fault that they ignore you. It annoys me when you always talk about that shit! You are a little whiny boy and I'm not into that. I'm not your comment box. It's over."_

 

_"I want to change schools", he said a few months later when they had stopped ignoring him. "I want to go to Dalton. It's a private school, a boarding school."_

_"Are you mad? Who should pay for that shit?"_

_"You do", he told his father, but he just laughed, John too and Sebastian bit his lips. "It's a school just for boys."_

_His dad crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked up and down his body._

_"That you can continue with choosing a sinful life?"_

_"Exactly. I will have boyfriends and I will hold their hands whenever I want to. Since you seem to mind when I do that in public, so that our neighbors start to talk about us, you should be happy about me wanting to go to Dalton."_

_His dad puckered his brows and saw to his other son who shrugged his shoulders and nodded._

_"I can bang as many guys as I want to and no one will ever know about that. I won't bring disgrace on you."_

_"Why don't you find yourself just a nice girlfriend?"_

_"That's no topic I'm gonna discuss with you. You either pay for Dalton or I'mma walk around with every gay guy who is in this city. I'm gonna find them and make them walk around with me in public. I will have a new boyfriend every week and-"_

_"I got it", his dad said and sighed. "You're a little piece of faggy shit."_

_"So that's a yes?"_

_"Yes. If I don't have to see you anymore."_

 

"You can sleep on the couch," Burt told Sebastian and went upstairs with Kurt who smiled and waved at Sebastian.

"Thanks," Sebastian mumbled to himself and laid down. He didn't even dare to take a blanket or anything.

This wasn't his home, he knew he wasn't welcome and just wanted to disappear.

 

Sebastian stared at the ceiling while the room became brighter and brighter as the sun rose. He had no clue how many hours he was lying like this when he heard footsteps walking downstairs.

"Not sleeping?", Kurt asked and sat down close to him.

"I'm afraid your dad kills me in my sleep," he answered and Kurt laughed.

"He wouldn't do that."

"He would if he could."

Kurt blinked and sighed sadly.

"Give him time. He just wants to protect me."

"Yeah."

"Why such a long face?", Kurt tried to cheer him up, but Sebastian just sighed.

"That's my merkat face. I was born with it."

Kurt laughed again, bent down to him and stroked his cheek hesitantly.

"It doesn't even look that bad."

"Stop with whatever you're doing," Sebastian retorted and slapped Kurt's hand away. "You don't need to cheer me up or anything. Have you forgotten what I did to you?"

"Well, right now I remember that you called the police and protected me from Blaine who, by the way, threw the red roses away."

Sebastian raised both brows.

"Red roses? The premiere?"

"I asked him and he said that he threw them away."

"Yeah, well. That's not important anyway."

Kurt gripped Sebastian at his shoulders and sat him up.

"You mean you sent me red roses at the premiere of my Broadway Show and it's not important? THANKS."

"T-that's not what I meant."

"What do you mean then, Sebastian?", Kurt asked and puckered his brows. "He said you wrote something about Craigslist?"

Sebastian laughed and scratched his neck.

"Yeah, well, I tried to be funny."

"What did your message say? I'm dying to know ... really."

"That's years ago-"

"Please", Kurt begged and Sebastian scanned his pale skin and sighed again.

"That it wasn't bad ..."

"Uhhh, not bad."

"And that I hoped the flowers didn't smell like Craigslist as well. I didn't sign with my name and thought that you'd call me if you remember that you said that. And I was thinking that you forgot me and had no clue what a weird person meant with that."

Kurt lowered his head and smiled in thougths.

"That was nice," he whispered and slid closer to him. "I didn't forget all the good stuff I said when we had our duels in the Lima Bean."

Sebastian smiled too and laid one hand on Kurt's upper arm.

"I won our duels though", Kurt mumbled and made Sebastian laugh.

"No. You didn't."

"I did."

Sebastian didn't say more. He just relaxed when Kurt stared at him with that look in his eyes. He tilted his head up, ready when Kurt moved closer and closed his eyes, wanting to kiss him.

 

"So you're awake," Burt interrupted them and Sebastian bit his lips while Kurt started to blush and looked to the ground.

"I didn't sleep at all," Sebastian answered and watched how Kurt slowly slid away from him. "I was afraid of you."

Burt laughed and sat into the armchair.

"I was thinking about killing you, to be honest. But I don't kill people usually."

"That's good to hear."

"I go upstairs," Kurt whispered and for a second he wanted to ask whether Sebastian wanted to come with him too, but he just blushed more and left them quickly.

 

Sebastian let himself fall back into the couch again and closed his eyes, trying to forget the knowledge that Kurt's dad was staring at him.

"You're dead if you hurt him again," Burt said with a calm voice and Sebastian opened his eyes.

"I don't plan to hurt him."

"Some days I really don't understand him and his choices. Why would he kiss you?"

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders and turned his face to Burt.

"Maybe I'm not as bad as you think."

"Maybe Kurt is again the poor child who doesn't get that the guy he likes is bad."

"Maybe Kurt found the right one."

"The right one? You think you are the right one for my son?"

Sebastian slapped his forehead and closed his eyes again, slightly blushing.

"No – I – I'm tired. I don't know what I'm saying."

"Do you love him?"

"I'm tired."

"Because you wanted to sleep with Blaine back then ..."

"Why don't you get your girlfriend back?", Sebastian asked Burt who laughed.

"Carole will soon be back. We can't survive our break-ups for long. And that doesn't distract me from you being in a weird relationship with my son."

"Okay, old man, what do you want to hear?", Sebastian asked and rubbed his tired eyes. "That I spanked him? That I tied him up and humiliated him? That I touched him where he never wanted me to touch him? Do you want me to say that I did it because I like him? Okay fine, yeah. He doesn't like me back. I know that every single smile he will give to me from now on will be because I protected him from his horrible abusive ex. Every time he will try to kiss me, he will do it because he confuses attraction and gratefulness. I know that. Will I use that for me? I try to resist, but I'm very weak."

Burt furrowed his brow and sighed.

"Just don't hurt him again. This whole situation is hard enough for him. You know how people like you struggled for years to be accepted as equal and now these laws ..."

"Yeah," Sebastian agreed, "I'll try to be good."

 

*

 

"Bas, hey, wake up!", a beautiful voice whispered and Sebastian opened his eyes. He saw Kurt smiling at him and rubbed his eyes.

"Bas? Since when do you call me like that?"

"Since now. Wake up! Dad and me cooked dinner."

 

It was weird sitting with Kurt and his Dad at a big laid table. But Sebastian was even more confused when he saw the fourth plate.

"Carole comes as well," Kurt explained as if he could read Sebastian's thoughts. "I called her and told her that I'm here."

He barely ended his sentence when the door bell rang.

"I'm going," he said cheerfully and jumped up. Sebastian puckered his brows and cleared his throat. He had more and more the feeling that he didn't belong here.

That he was disturbing a family.

Again.

 

"Kurt, you look horrible!", Carole said and Kurt laughed when he guided her into the living room.

"Thanks! I love to hear that!"

"What's that thing around your neck? Looks like one of these tings that – Oh God, NO!?"

Kurt held his breath. He forgot to wear a scarf and could slap himself for that.

"Um ..."

They entered the living room and Carole looked up and down Sebastian's body.

"Isn't that the guy who tried to blind you with a slushie?"

Sebastian turned pale and lowered his head, biting his lips.

"Well, he-"

"And he b-bought you? That's horrible. I hope you go to hell you bas-"

"Carole!", Kurt yelled at her. "Don't be like that. You know nothing."

Sebastian stood up and walked into the bathroom without a word.

 

"Thanks, Carole!"

"What? But he-"

"He is a friend. And you insulted him!", Kurt nagged, shook his head and ran after Sebastian.

Carole looked to Burt and pressed her lips together.

"B-but that guy-"

"It looks like our Kurt has fallen for the devil again," Burt said with a wobbly voice and stared to the hallway.

 

Sebastian was sitting on the rim of the bathtub, his hands in front of his eyes.

"Hey," Kurt whispered and sat next to him, "Don't tell me what she said affected you?"

"Of course not," Sebastian sobbed and Kurt felt even more horrible. "Why would that affect me?"

"Bas-"

"I'm going to a Hotel."

"What?"

"I don't belong here. You're here with your family and I'm just the guy who sexually assaulted you. Who humiliated and-"

"Stop it."

"They hate me."

"Bas-"

"I can't even hold it against them," he muttered and took his hands from his face away. Only now saw Kurt his tear stained face.

"Hey," Kurt laid his hand on Sebastian's back and felt how tense he was, "they don't know our story yet."

"There is no story. There is a victim and an offender."

Kurt sighed and stroke up and down Sebastian's spine.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I refuse to be a victim."

Sebastian let his head sink down and sniveled again, shaking his head.

"I can't stay here."

"Bas."

"And stop calling me like that," he hissed and stood up, leaving Kurt there with a confused expression. "It implies that we are friends or something."

"But we-"

"We're not."

Kurt winced at Sebastian's words and bit down on his lower lip.

"I never wanted to be your friend," Sebastian explained and although he realized that Kurt didn't get what he meant, he left the room and moments later the house.

 

*

 

"Eat, Kurt. You are so pale-"

"How would that change if I ate?"

"Kurt-"

"Carole is right. You need to eat something!"

"I feel terrible," Kurt whispered and turned his back to Carole and Burt who were standing in front of his bed.

"Son," Burt sighed and sat on the mattress, "you don't need to feel bad if Sebastian felt uncomfortable being around people who actually care about you while he was hurting you."

Kurt pulled the blanket over his head and Burt stroked his shoulder.

"Do you want me to make a hot chocolate? We could have some and watch Hello Dolly, or any other weird Musical ..."

"He said that we aren't friends."

Burt squeezed his shoulder and looked to Carole who took Burt's hand, smiling encouragingly at him.

"And that's bad because ...?"

"Because I thought we were friends!", Kurt yelled and sat up, looking at them with swollen eyes. "And yet again a person who I thought would like me-"

"Why do you think he doesn't like you?", Burt asked and hated himself for what he was doing. He hated that Kurt was so sad because this asshole left. Burt himself was happy when he took his jacket, a bag and ran out of his house. But watching his son suffer was a thing Burt couldn't endure.

"Well, if he says-"

"Maybe he wants ... a more-than-friends-thing."

Kurt puckered his brows for a moment and raised them then.

"Ohhhh ... I-I need to find him," he meant and jumped up, but his father held his shoulders.

"God, Kurt. For how long do you know him?"

"Um ... Almost ten years-"

"Wrong. You've seen him in High School a few times and know him for five days. And in the time you met him, has he ever said or done anything that was nice? Has he ever treated you the way you deserve?"

"Dad-"

"Just let him be."

Kurt smiled sadly and stroked his father's shoulders.

"Dad, I know that you blame yourself for watching how Blaine treated me the way he did. But -" Kurt lowered his head and took a deep breath, "Sebastian is not Blaine."

Burt furrowed his brow and left hold of his son's shoulders.

"I'm so scared he hurts you ... again."

Kurt looked to his dad and smiled.

"I'm tired of letting people hurt me."

 

*

 

"We'll honey, that's the last Hotel. What if he isn't in there?", Carole asked and looked back to Kurt who sat on the backseat as Burt drove the car.

"He has to be somewhere, right?"

"That somewhere doesn't have to be near you", Burt whispered and Kurt gave him a warning gaze.

"I'm just trying to invite him properly. I don't know-"

"And how does this look like? Kurt you don't owe him anything," Burt said as he stopped the car in front of the Hotel.

"I know."

"Why do you chase after him then?"

Kurt panted with rage and opened the door of the car.

"Because the people who are my family insulted them. They made him feel bad how I used to feel and you know how much I hate bullying. Hurting people who hurt others won't help anyone."

"I would be happy if he was in jail-"

"Just wait here. Both of you", Kurt hissed. "And if he comes back, you will be the nice persons I know you are."

 

Kurt stepped into the big fancy Hotel and felt kinda uneasy, so dirty and inappropriately dressed that he blushed a bit. But it was much better now, after five other Hotels.

He stepped to the reception desk and didn't wonder that he was the only person here. It was pretty late.

"Excuse me", he said to the guy behind the desk who was standing with his back to him.

"Welcome to the Lima Ho – Kurt?", David Karofsky said and started to smile. "Oh my God! How are you? You look terrible!"

Kurt held his breath. Yet another weird situation he didn't want to go through.

"Hi, David. I'm not that terrible as I look like."

"No, I didn't mean that you look terrible. Well, you do – you look so pale. And you are so thin."

He sighed and raised both brows.

"I – I'm fine, really", he said and finally smiled back. In High School, after David had tried to kill himself, Kurt and he became close friends. And looking at him made Kurt pretty sad. He realized that he missed him.

He missed so many parts of his old life.

 

"How are you, David?"

"I'm good, really. I have this nice job here, a cute apartment and actually a nice boyfriend who isn't twenty years older than me."

"That's what I call an improvement!", Kurt laughed and David smiled.

"God Kurt, we need to meet each other and talk. Have dinner together or something."

"Yes, true", Kurt answered and asked himself why within the months when he had been lonely and his 'real' friends didn't give a damn about him, he wasn't even thinking about to call Dave.

Maybe he liked him too much to tell him everything.

He didn't want to bother him and cause him to sink back into his depressions.

 

"Have you seen Sebastian Smythe during the past hours? Did he check in?"

"You're looking for Sebastian?"

"Is he here?"

"He is", he replied, but scrutinized Kurt. "Did I miss something?"

"N-no ... which room does he have?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you, Kurt."

Kurt's eyes widened.

"C'mon Dave!"

"Weird that you weren't here for years ... Sebastian neither. And now you are both back. Strange coincidence", he said and scanned Kurt's expression.

"Yeah, well ... no. We came together."

"You are together?"

"We CAME together!", Kurt almost screamed with flushed cheeks and his skin became even darker when he saw David's grinning face.

"I see", he whispered and turned around, walking to the PC.

"Wait, David-"

"Room 334", he mumbled. "I can't give you the keys or anything. I can't promise that he will let you in!"

"Thanks, Dave!", Kurt said, bent over the desk and hugged his former bully. "You're gorgeous."

"I am. And I still don't know why from all your bullies you always choose the ones that aren't me."

Kurt laughed again and made David smile.

 

 

*

 

Sebastian was lying in the big hotel bed, too lazy to move and just staring at the ceiling. He was thinking of Kurt. Of his pale skin and his blue, innocent eyes, his strong arms, flat stomach and his so tasty vagi-

 _No,_ Sebastian told himself. He couldn't think about Kurt in that way. He hated him. And his family hated him too. Because he was an asshole.

 

_"How was your first day in High School?", his mum asked Sebastian when he came home. He didn't say anything and just avoided to look at her when he ran to his room. Without thinking twice, she followed him and found him crying in his bed._

_"What happened? Look at me Sebby!"_

_Sebastian sniveled and turned his head to her. She saw his bloody lip and black eye and pulled him into her arms._

_"Who was this?"_

_"I – I don't even know their names. They were seniors."_

_He pulled away from his mother and rubbed his eyes._

_"They stole the bag of a guy with glasses and called him mean names while one – one piddled into his bag."_

_Sebastian sighed and shook his head._

_"I went to them and told them to stop, but they laughed at me and hit me. I will never find friends."_

_"Darling, what you did was very nice and brave", she said proudly and stroked her son's hair._

_"Yeah and that brought me a black eye."_

_"It was right to help the other boy. Maybe you become friends now. And if you just be yourself-"_

_Sebastian jumped up and walked to the mirror in the floor. He looked at his reflection and at this moment John walked into the house._

_"Everyone talks about what a pussy you have been at your first day. Look at you."_

_"John", their mum warned him, but he just showed her his middle finger._

_"You are such a disrespectful person. You can't just be like that to mum-"_

_John pressed his younger brother against the wall and although Sebastian was struggling, he couldn't free himself when John gripped his chin, pulled his head up and spit on his face._

_"John!", the mother yelled and pulled her older son away. "Let your brother be!"_

_"He's a weenie."_

_John slapped Sebastian's face and their mum wasn't fast enough to step between them._

_"JOHN!"_

_"Blah blah blah", he muttered as he walked away._

_"Darling-"  
"Leave me alone", Sebastian mumbled and ran into his room._

 

_"Oh no", his mum said solicitously and looked Sebastian over. "The second day and you look like ... well, like that! Who was this?"_

_"Your oldest son."_

_"Darling-"_

_"You know what? Let me be! You remember the guy I helped yesterday? He watched how they beat me up. Being nice doesn't get me anywhere. I end up being hurt by my own brother and no one is 'nice'. I don't get why I should be nice when no one else is."_

_"Sebby, I don't know what happened that your brother is like that, but-"  
Sebastian rubbed his bloody nose and just walked away._

_"Sebby, listen to me", she said and walked after her youngest son. She wanted to enter his room, but the door was closed._

_"Darling, would you please open the door?"_

_It stayed silent and the woman leaned her forehead against the door._

_"Please. Don't lock you in now. I'm sorry that I screwed your brother up. I'm sorry that I'm such a bad mum, but I -"_

_He put on loud music and wiped his nose and hated his life. No one of his old friends went to the same High School as him. He was alone. All by himself, bullied by his own brother._

 

_He tried to be nice to find friends, but no matter how much he tried it didn't work out._

 

_He didn't find new friends by being nice._

 

_So he decided that he rather had unharmed skin and no friends than trying to get some and being bashed because of that._

 

_He didn't want friends._

_He didn't need anyone._

_He could make it._

_He could survive High School._

_All by himself._

 

"Sebastian", a voice suddenly said before the door of Sebastian's hotel room, "it's me!"

Sebastian sat up and turned his head to the door.

"Would you please open the door?"

It stayed silent and Kurt leaned his forehead against the door. He needed Sebastian to know that he was welcome.

More than that.

"Please. Don't lock you in now. I'm sorry for my family. And they are sorry as well."

 

He opened the door reluctantly and sighed when he looked at Kurt's beautiful face. Why couldn't he just keep the door closed?

"And, by the way, I never wanted to be your friend either."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sooo sooooo much for reading and your reviews!
> 
> Any kind of response means the world to me!  
> You are so great! *o*
> 
> Thanks for everything!  
> xo  
> aida


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor babies ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is better than Kurt flashbacks in one chapter and Sebastian flashbacks in the next?  
> Kurt flashbacks AND Sebastian flashbacks in ONE chapter :')
> 
> Sorry for the errors, I know there are many ... I feel like there are many.

"Nice", Sebastian said and wanted to close the door again, but Kurt pressed his body into the door frame.

"You annoy me like 99% of all time. And I alternate between feeling the urge to punch you in the face to silence you and cover your lips with kisses to keep your mouth shut."

 

Sebastian swallowed and scanned Kurt's confused expression.

He had no clue why Kurt said such things, but he liked the sound of it.

And he wanted to believe him.

 

"But no matter in which mood I am. I never saw you as a friend. Not one second." Kurt clenched two fists and tensed up.

"That's what you were aiming at as well, right? That you don't want to be me friend?"

 _Yes,_ Sebastian thought, but couldn't admit it. He knew he didn't deserve the way Kurt was looking at him, with pleading eyes, flushed cheeks and the need to be hugged. Kurt was only acting like that because he felt grateful and even that was something Sebastiand didn't deserve.

 

"Listen", he started and put one hand on the door frame, not wanting to let Kurt in, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't say that", Kurt mumbled nervously and lowered his head, starting to question his feelings and the feelings he thought Sebastian would have.

"Kurt, why did you come here?"

"I wanted to bring you home. I'm sorry for Dad an Carole. They just need to get to know you-"

"You don't know me either, Kurt", Sebastian sighed and fought against the need to reach his hand out to stroke Kurt's cheek.

"I know that I thought I would know you. But you are so different and I don't want you to be alone now."  


Sebastian laughed and felt tears flooding his eyes. He had been horrible towards Kurt and yet was he worried about him.

Kurt Hummel was really an angel.

 

"I like to be alone", Sebastian lied and wanted to close the door again but Kurt slipped under his hand into the hotel room.

"I don't believe you", he explained and stemmed his hands on his hips.

"I don't care what you do – get out!"

"Bas-"

"And stop calling me like that!", he hissed and gripped Kurt at his arm, trying to pull him out, but Kurt just tilted his head up and pressed an awkward kiss on Sebastian's lips, making him freeze. Kurt held his breath, too. He really didn't get Sebastian, but he didn't want him to be alone in this strange room. He wanted to have him near him and right now – he just wanted to feel him.

 

Sebastian puckered his brows when Kurt kissed him a second time and a third. He hesitated, but wrapped his arms tightly around Kurt's waist, making Kurt's heart beat faster. Then, he felt how Kurt jumped on him and gripped hiss butt cheeks to support him while Kurt put his legs around Sebastian's waist. The kisses became wild and sloppy and Sebastian pressed Kurt against the wall next to the door and slammed it shut with a one hand before he used it to hold Kurt's hips and push him onto a small desk.

Kurt had his hands on Sebastian's neck and pulled him down to him. He stopped thinking and was just feeling Sebastian. He could even smell him and his scent along with his touches made Kurt feel so nervous and extremely greedy.

Sebastian pulled away and scanned Kurt's dilated pupils with a smile on his lips. Kurt thrusted his crotch up against Sebastian's and encouraged him to press back. He bent to Kurt again and felt how he ran his fingers through his hair.

"You're right", Sebastian whispered in his ear, "I definitely don't see you as friend."

Kurt snuggled up to Sebastian and enjoyed the feeling of his muscular back under his palms while he kept rubbing his crotch against his.

"I don't usually want to fuck my friends apart", he mumbled and bit Kurt's neck close to his collar. Kurt moaned and pressed his body closer to Sebastian's. He felt his ass under his legs, his mouth on his face, his chest on his and his hands everywhere.

But it felt like it wasn't enough.

"I'm glad I'm not your friend", Kurt answered and felt how Sebastian pulled him roughly at his ass against his body. Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian and let the man carry him on the bed where he let him abruptly fell on the mattress.

Kurt swallowed and leaned back, breathing heavily as Sebastian crawled over him. He smiled so gently that the sight almost hurt Kurt.

Sebastian was not only hot, he was handsome.

 

"Do you remember what I told you when I bought you?", Sebastian asked when he massaged Kurt's thighs over his jeans.

"Obey?"

"This", Sebastian laughed and licked his lips, staring at Kurt's trembling hands, "and that you need to beg me to fuck you."

Kurt blushed and sat suddenly up.

"Excuse me? Who said I want you to do that?", he yelled and slapped Sebastian's hands away. He laughed, gripped Kurt's shoulders and pressed him back in the mattress, planting a kiss on his lips. Kurt kissed back, although he felt ashamed for his feelings. For the need to get more. He was so torn. He hated Sebastian. Or he had hated him. He wasn't sure. He disliked so much about him, but there were so many parts to like as well.

"Come on, beg for it", Sebastian pushed and Kurt bit his lips and turned his head away.

"Why don't you fuck yourself?", he retorted and Sebastian released his shoulders, sitting up with a laugh.

"You're so bitchy, so hot ..."

Kurt sat up again and wanted to put his hand on Sebastian's shoulder, but he winced when he heard someone knocking at the door.

"Kurt? Sebastian?"

 

It was Burt and Sebastian sighed.

"I start to feel really cockblocked by your dad."

Kurt bit his lips and walked to the door, tugging at his clothes and brushing over his ruffled hair.

"Hi, Dad," he said as he opened the door. Burt saw immediately Kurt's swollen lips, his red cheeks and watery eyes and knew what was going on.

"Do I disturb you?"  


Kurt blushed even more and shook his head eagerly.

"N-no. Why would you – do you want to come in?"

"No. I just wanted to tell you that some guy appeared and told me that I can't keep parking there. We have ten minutes to disappear. And I was hoping you would come with us? Both of you", he meant and looked to Sebastian who puckered his brows.

"I don't know-"

"We would love to have you home with us", Burt mumbled and hated the sound of that lie.

 

*

 

Sebastian came home with Kurt and slept on the couch. They had breakfast the next morning and they were all pretty polite. Until they started to ask why he didn't visit his own family.

"It's just my dad and brother here in Lima."

"Why don't you visit them?", Carole asked and really didn't want to hurt Sebastian.

"Not everyone has Burt Hummel as dad", he retorted and walked away just when Kurt was coming from the bathroom.

"You said something mean again?"

"No", Carole insisted. "I was just asking about his family."

 

*

 

The first week was beautiful. Burt was now and then in his shop and Carole was working almost the whole day, so Kurt and Sebastian were alone in the house.

"You really don't like your dad, do you?", Kurt asked once and Sebastian tensed up.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But I want to know more of you. You know all about me. You know about my ex, my life, my career. I don't know anything about you."

Sebastian tilted his head and scanned Kurt pensively.

"Why do you even care?"

Kurt pressed his lips together and shrugged his shoulders.  


"I'm just curious."

"Curious to know more about your owner?", Sebastian teased and Kurt narrowed his eyes to slits.

"I thought you were sorry for treating me the way you did and now you call yourself my owner?", Kurt asked, but wasn't upset. He could see the smile in Sebastian's eyes and could tell that he was flirting

"I never wanted to call me your owner again but then you ran after me and had that 'fuck-me-look' in your eyes", he mumbled, put his hands on his waist and pulled him against his body.

"Only in your imagination, Smythe", Kurt whispered, but relaxed. He couldn't believe by himself how much everything had changed between them. Sebastian was still demanding, dominating but other than before Kurt felt comfortable when Sebastian behaved like that. Although he was still thinking about what exactly had changed.

Or when.

 

"Wasn't my imagination that you kissed me."

"I don't remember that", Kurt lied with a grin and Sebastian gripped his neck.

"You don't?"  


"No."

"Let me refresh your memory?"

Kurt smiled, closed his eyes and let Sebastian kiss him. It was a soft kiss and so different when Sebastian held him so gingerly, so tight.

"How is this supposed to refresh my memory if you initiate the kiss?", Kurt asked and used Sebastian's amazement to press a kiss on his lips. He stroked Sebastian's neck and snuggled up to him after the kiss, closing his eyes.

 

"Have you ever loved someone?", Kurt asked and felt how the muscles of Sebastian's back tensed.

"What?", Sebastian pushed Kurt away and looked at him with an angry gaze.

Kurt stood still and swallowed.

"Just because you seem like there was a person who really hurt you sometime."

 

_"We need to talk."_

_"Since when do we talk? We usually yell at each other or say nothing at all", Sebastian laughed, but his dad's angry expression let his smile vanish._

_"What is it?"_

_"John told me that you held hands with ... a guy in school."_

_Sebastian trembled at the way his father had said 'a guy'. He had been so afraid of this moment for so long. He had felt attracted to boys a long time ago and never found the right moment to talk to his mum about it. And then she died two months ago and Sebastian was alone with this situation._

 

_Not completely alone. There was this senior, Alexander who could make Sebastian laugh. Who understood him._

_They were together for a few weeks now and kissed and held hands in public. He was his first boyfriend and the first person Sebastian had sex with._

_Not even Samantha knew about that._

 

_"I love him", Sebastian whispered and he expected his dad to get angry, to yell at him._

_But he just laughed._

_He laughed._

_And Sebastian's heart broke._

 

_"You won't meet him anymore."_

_Sebastian played with his fingers and lowered his head. He was completely embarrassed and hated himself for this feeling. A part of him knew that there was nothing he should be ashamed for, but the bigger part of him felt the need to break up with Alexander and find a girlfriend._

 

_"But I love him", he mumbled again, as if his dad would believe him if he just said it often enough._

_"Love doesn't exist."_

_Sebastian looked up and bit his lips._

_"There are desire and lust and we think we can persuade us that we love the people we want to sleep with because it makes us feel less animallike."_

_Sebastian started to sweat._

_"B-but you loved mum."_

_"No."_

_Sebastian couldn't believe his ears._

_"She had a nice ass though."_

 

"No", Sebastian explained and turned away. "I've never loved someone. I don't love."

Kurt puckered his brows and stepped to Sebastian, placing his hands on his shoulders.

"I'm sorry", he said sadly. "That was a stupid question. Everyone loves. I'm sorry for asking that."

"You don't have to feel sorry. And I'm not everyone", Sebastian breathed as he turned around and gripped Kurt's hand's firmly, looking in his eyes. "As I said, I don't love", he insisted with cold eyes and pushed Kurt against the next wall.

"Sebas-"

He forced a kiss on Kurt's mouth and gripped his wrists so firmly that it hurt.

"Don't be like that again", Kurt muttered with a wobbly voice and turned his head away and Sebastian continued with kissing his neck.

"Like what?"

"Like an asshole! One question about your love life and you think you have to prove what a tough guy you are!"

"I am", Sebastian told him and gripped Kurt's belt. Kurt laid his hands on Sebastian's and breathed heavily. He hated when Sebastian was like the guy who bought him.

"Sebastian, calm down-"  


"Strip!"

"Sebas-"

"I said strip!"

"Bas!", Kurt almost yelled and Sebastian held his breath. He was close to crying when he left hold of Kurt's open belt.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to – I'm sorry."

"Okay", Kurt said although he was more than confused.

Sebastian rubbed his eyes and wanted to pass Kurt, but Kurt held his arm and made him stop.

"Don't just walk away. Let's talk about it."  


"There's nothing to talk about."

 

*

 

Sunday afternoon. At the Lima cemetery.

The four people were standing at Finn Hudson's grave and Carole was crying. She was not the only one, though.

Kurt rubbed his eyes often and even sniveled.

 

_"You know, I love to see you so often little brother", Finn said when he and Kurt were watching a movie, "but what are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be in New York?"_

_"I came here for Dad."_

_"And you stay for Blaine."_

_Kurt shrugged his shoulders and took another piece of pizza._

_"Only for Regionals."_

_"Sure."_

_"Let me be."_

_"Kurt."_

_"Finn."_

_Finn laughed and ruffled through Kurt's hair._

_"Finn, my hairstyle!", Kurt hissed but laughed, when he saw Finn's face. He could never hold anything against Finn._

_"I can't dance, I'm not smart. I don't have a serious job. But I know that you belong to New York. Lima is bad. For both of us."_

_"You like working in the Glee Club!"_

_"It's okay, I guess. But you shouldn't be here."_

_Kurt sighed and lowered his head._

_"He said I look cute."_

_"Wow! That's the best thing someone will ever say to you! He is Prince Charming. Why don't you get back together?", he asked ironically._

_"Since when don't you like Blaine?"_

_"I'm sure grilled Jesus would dislike him, too."_

_"Grilled what?"_

_Finn laughed nervously and scratched his neck._

_"Forget it!"_

 

_Kurt raised one brow and Finn sat down before his stepbrother._

_"You aren't thinking about going back to him, do you?"_

_"I don't know. I feel only like a half person when he's not there."_

_Finn sighed when he looked at that sad face and patted Kurt's shoulder._

_"I know what you mean. But Blaine and Sam ..."_

_Kurt held his breath._

_"He had an enormous crush on Sam. And I think if Sam said yes, Blaine would always jump in his bed ... whether he was in a relationship or not."_

_Kurt cleared his throat and sat up._

_"He would never cheat on me again."_

_"He would."_

_Kurt's lips started to tremble._

_"B-but-"_

_"You're not half, little brother. You were always so strong, so confident. What happened?"_

_Kurt started to cry and Finn hugged him tightly._

_"He loves me. He cares about me. He sings me songs."_

_"What about you? Do you love him?"_

_"He says we belong together."_

_"Kurt, do me one favor and take the next flight to New York."_

_"He wants me to stay until-"_

_"Blaine is not your brain!"_

_Kurt pushed Finn away and rubbed his face with a deep sigh._

_"Mind your own business ..."_

_"You can be single and happy nonetheless."_

_"Yeah, thanks, Finn."_

_"You and Rachel, you are the most talented people I know. You are stars and amazing. And Blaine is – if you are a star, a falling star, Blaine is your stardust." Finn raised his head and smiled. "Hey, that was pretty good, huh? So deep and smart."_

_Kurt rolled his eyes at Finn, but laughed at the same time._

_"Yeah, very smart."_

 

Sebastian looked to Carole who was held by Burt and was thinking about taking Kurt's hand. But he thought that he had no right to take it. They came closer this week, they talked, laughed, but Sebastian didn't dare to comfort him.

That's why he was surprised when Kurt gripped his hand and squeezed it. Sebastian squeezed back and stepped a bit closer to Kurt.

"I didn't know him", Sebastian whispered to Kurt. "But everything I heard about him was positive. Almost everything. They said that he loved this Rachel girl, that he was a sincere friend and ... clumsy."

Kurt laughed and wiped away his tears.

"He was."

Sebastian smiled at Kurt and laid his arm around his waist, kissing his temples.

"Do we go to Mum, now?", Burt asked and gave Sebastian a warning gaze. Burt and Carole headed off to another grave and Kurt and Sebastian followed them.

 

Sebastian realized that Kurt stopped crying when they arrived this grave. Has he loved Finn more than his mum? Or had he simply not so many memories of her that made him cry?

"Where's your mum's grave?", Kurt asked Sebastian and made him smile. He was thinking about her the past minutes, but wasn't brave enough to ask whether they could go to see it.

"Can we go there?"

"I would love to see it."

 

They left Burt and Carole alone and Sebastian was a bit disoriented before he could find it. But what he found made him feel sick.

The grave was overrun with weeds, you could barely see the font.

Kurt could hear a low sobbing and felt how Sebastian released his hand. He went a few steps and crouched down, rubbing his eyes.

"I hate him", he hissed. "He does this to hurt me. I hate him."

Kurt's stomach hurt a bit when he walked to Sebastian and knelt down next to him. Sebastian turned his head immediately away and took deep breaths, trying to calm down.

"You don't need to be strong now. That's horrible and makes me almost cry, too."

Sebastian looked hesitantly to Kurt who brushed over his tear-stained face with a supporting smile.

"Cry as much as you want to."

 

_"I thought I had only one daughter. Since when do I have two?"_

_"You're heartless!", Samantha yelled to her dad, holding her youngest brother in her arms. "We just buried our mum!"_

_Sebastian couldn't stop to sob. He knew that it had to look pathetic, but he couldn't help. Everything felt so unreal and strange. He lost all his feelings. Except the dark pain that wanted to eat him up._

_"I buried my wife. And I don't cry like a girl."_

_"How is it even possible that a boy cries like a girl? Keep your misogynic jokes to yourself!"_

_"Shut up, Miss Piggy", John insulted his sister._

_"Oh, this one is great. Really. So imaginative. Never heard that before", she screamed back and Sebastian started to run._

 

_It was evening when Samatha found him, crying in the cemetery while hugging the cross of their mother's grave._

_"I should have known that you're here", she said in relief as she found him._

_"Where is she?", he sobbed and looked to his older sister. "Here's her body, but where is SHE?"_

_Samantha felt tears in her eyes when she knelt to her brother and shook her head._

_"I don't know."_

_"I need her."_

_"I'm here. I won't leave you alone."_

_"I don't even dare to cry at home, because John said he would beat me up if I did", he cried and Samantha pulled him into her arms._

_"Forget him. I'm here. I will never leave you. Never."_

 

_And a few months later she graduated._

_And went to College._

_And left him alone._

 

Sebastian tilted his head and kissed Kurt gently. He buried his face in Kurt's shoulder later and cried a bit. Not as much as he needed to. But more then he ever dared to cry when someone else was with him.

And Kurt stroked his back soothingly and cried in empathy.

 

"I don't like what is going on there", Burt said to Carole, watching this scene. "I don't like it at all."

"I think they look cute together."

"You don't know what he did to my son."

"You don't know it either."  


"Because Kurt won't tell me."

Carole took Burt's hand and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I came only back because of Kurt. You know that, right?"

"I thought you forgave me?"

"You're only on probation. I thought I decide after tomorrow. After the next demonstration."

"There is a demonstration?"

"Don't akt like you don't know!", she told him and pinched his arm. "I told you to don't go there again."

Burt looked down.

"Carole, he's my son."

"We can't afford another bail!"

"I need to go there-"

She left hold of his hand and nodded her head.

"Seven times, Burt. We paid that bail seven times. And it gets more with every time."

"I have to fight for my son. Finn isn't dead for such a long time, why can't you understand me?"

Carole hit Burt in his face, took her ring off and threw it against him. She opened her mouth to say something, but she gave it up and just walked away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and all your reviews!
> 
> Hugs and kisses!  
> <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misery ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I have already the new chapter and I hope you like it.
> 
> Two Kurt flashbacks! *o*
> 
> And I know it's pretty angsty but the next chapter will be very, very cute!!! <3
> 
> Um as always pretty triggering, especially the flashbacks! Be warned, cute people out there!

Kurt and Sebastian were alone the next evening. Carole was in a hotel again and Burt had told them that he was trying to get her back (once more).

 

Kurt headed to his room but stood still when he was in front of the bathroom. He turned his head to the room and saw that the door was wide open. Sebastian was taking a shower and Kurt could see his naked back where drops of water were running down his moving muscles.

 _Go into your room! Go!,_ Kurt told himself but kept watching. He winced when Sebastian turned around and caught him in the act. The guy with the green eyes laughed, stopped the water and opened the doors of the shower.

 

It wasn't Kurt's intention to look between Sebastian's legs, but somehow it happened and he turned his blushed head away and held his breath. He wanted to walk away, but he couldn't move one muscle of his body.

"Voyeur", Sebastian said with a grin and Kurt blushed more.

"The door was open."

"I admit, I was hoping you'd pass the bathroom", Sebastian whispered, stepped to Kurt who was close to the door frame and laid his wet hands on his neck, starting to kiss his lips. Kurt turned his head hesitantly away and sighed.

"Don't tell me my wet, naked body doesn't turn you on", Sebastian wondered and Kurt swallowed.

"Your body is indeed ... amazing."

Sebastian grinned again and pressed another kiss on Kurt's mouth, but Kurt pushed him away. He regretted it immediately, though and gripped Sebastian's hands, avoiding to look at him beneath his collarbones.

 

He wanted to kiss Sebastian.

But he was afraid of touching him.

Everything felt so wrong.

And way too soon.

 

Kurt hated this feeling, but he also hated that Sebastian felt probably rejected. He didn't want to make him feel like that. He didn't want to lose what he felt between them since yesterday at his mum's grave.

 

"I'm sorry", Kurt whispered and stepped closer to Sebastian. He tilted his head nervously and kissed him.

"Why are you apologizing?", Sebastian asked and withdrew his face.

Kurt smiled at Sebastian and slid one hand over his torso and down to his crotch, but Sebastian took it before he could touch his cock.

"It's okay if you're not in the mood or anything."

Kurt shook his head eagerly.

"It's not about that – it's just ... it's nothing."

"Kurt, if you don't want to-"

"It's not that I don't want to", Kurt explained with tears in his eyes. "It just feels so weird. Too many things happen too fast and I-"

"I'm sorry", Sebastian interrupted Kurt and kissed his cheek while stroking his hands gently. "I'm an idiot. I should've locked to door."

Kurt lowered his head and let Sebastian hug him. He couldn't stop questioning whether it was really okay if he wasn't ready yet.

 

_Kurt moved his hand down his body, between his legs, but Blaine gripped it sharply._

_"No", he simply decided and Kurt swallowed disappointedly. He was so horny, he needed to come. Blaine had just fucked him anal and had brushed over his clit a few times, to tease him, but he didn't give him any stimulation._

 

_"Please?", Kurt asked and looked to Blaine's eyes, but he just shook his head._

_"No."_

_Kurt nodded and snuggled up to Blaine's naked body, brushing over his chest and admired the ring on his left hand._

_"We're engaged", he whispered cheerfully and Blaine put his arm around him. They were in Blaine's room, soon after the big, odd proposal._

 

_"I thought we could get married by next month", Blaine meant and Kurt tensed up, still stroking his fiancé._

_"So soon?"_

_Blaine sat up and looked at Kurt with a gaze that made him tremble._

_"When do you want to marry me? In ten years?"_

_"I don't know", Kurt said and sat also up, patting Blaine's hand. "I just think there is no need to rush-"_

_"There is no need to delay it." Blaine sighed and shook his head, standing up and slipping into his underwear. "You're so unthankful. The ring was extremely expensive and do you know what I had to do to get all the choirs to Dalton?"_

_Kurt pulled the blanket over his naked body and lowered his head._

_"I'm very thankful. The proposal was beautiful."_

_"Why did you say 'yes' if you don't want to?"_

_Kurt forced himself to look in Blaine's eyes and felt tears in his own._

_"Blaine, we just got back together – I don't want to argue."_

_"You picked the fight."_

_'I didn't', Kurt was thinking, but kept watching how Blaine dressed himself._

_"I didn't mean to", he said instead and hated himself that he obeyed so easily. "I'm sorry."_

 

_Blaine looked down to Kurt and stroked his cheek. Kurt smiled sadly and pressed his head against Blaine's palm._

_"I'm going for a walk", Blaine explained and left hold of Kurt._

_"At this time?"_

_Blaine shrugged his shoulders and fetched a jacket from the desk._

_"W-wait", Kurt almost yelled at jumped up, wrapping the blanket around him. "Where are you really going?"_

_"I'm trying to get what I need."_

_Kurt went pale, his heart skipped a beat and he blinked back his tears._

_"W-we just had sex."_

_"Now I need something else", Blaine mumbled and looked to the ground._

_"B-but we ... we have a strap-on, I could-"_

_"God, Kurt", Blaine yelled at him, making Kurt shiver, "I already said that you look ridiculous with that thing. And I'm into real dicks."_

_Kurt clenched two fists and straightened himself._

_"You won't cheat on me again!", he tried to order._

_"I'm frustrated if I don't get what I need."_

_"You said you would never cheat on me again!"_

_Blaine put his jacket on and licked his lips slowly._

_"You said you want to marry me."_

_"I ... I do."_

_"In ten years."_

_"I don't know when-"_

_"I guess as long as you're thinking about whether you're ready or not, I have all right to go and have fun."_

_Kurt puckered both brows, played with his fingers for a while and pulled his ring off._

_"I guess I'm not ready at all ... under these conditions", he said with a shaky voice and threw his ring on the ground._

_Blaine laughed when he picked the ring up and shoved it in his pocket._

_"Fine."_

_He turned around and started to walk away. Kurt pressed his nails in his upper arms and looked after Blaine, waiting for him to come back._

_And say something nice._

_But he didn't._

 

_"Why are you still here?", Blaine asked in the morning when he came back and Kurt was still in his bed. He hadn't slept at all and rubbed his tired eyes when Blaine took his jacket off._

_"Please tell me that nothing happened", Kurt begged, but Blaine just laughed disparagingly._

_"You gave me the ring back. No - you threw it on the ground and yet you expect me to be faithful?"_

_"I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean it. I love you", Kurt tried and reached out his hand, but Blaine ignored it and continued with undressing._

_"I love you, Blaine."_

_"I know."_

_"And you love me as well, right?"_

_Blaine pressed his lips together and nodded slightly._

_"I do."_

_"I'm sorry that I can't", Kurt bit his lips and wiped away the tears on his cheeks, "that I can't satisfy you."_

_"And?", Blaine asked while sitting down on his bed, pulling the blanket away from Kurt's body._

_"And I'm sorry that I threw the ring away", Kurt tried nervously and fought against the need to cover his body._

_"And?"_

_"And," Kurt started, but shrugged his shoulders._

_"Are you sorry that you leave me waiting until we're married?"_

_"Yes. I'm sorry that I leave you waiting", Kurt agreed and lowered his head in thoughts._

_What was he even saying?_

 

_"I went riding dicks because you misbehaved. Do you get that?", Blaine asked and Kurt cried more, not understanding anything, but he nodded his head nonetheless._

_"I love you. I don't want to lose you again", he sobbed and Blaine smiled when he gripped Kurt's left hand and shoved the ring back on. He kissed Kurt's tear stained cheek and pulled his naked body against his clothed one._

_"You want to be mine, right?"_

_"Yes", Kurt sobbed. "I want that ring. I want to marry you."_

_"Then you need to behave."_

_"I will", Kurt muttered and smiled when Blaine hugged him._

_"We get married by next month", Blaine decided and Kurt nodded again, snuggling up against Blaine._

_"Okay", he breathed because he was afraid of losing Blaine._

 

_He was afraid of feeling like nothing again when he was without him._

 

"I'm sorry", Sebastian mumbled once more and ended the hug. "I didn't want to push you." He rolled his eyes slowly and thought his sentence over. "Okay, most of the time I want to push you indeed against a wall or over a desk-"

Kurt laughed and shook his head.

"But, really. I'm sorry. I continue with my shower, okay? You can still join, though!"

"No, thank you."

Sebastian smiled at him and closed the bathroom door behind him.

 

*

 

"You okay?", Sebastian asked when he entered the living room where Kurt was lying on a couch, wrapped into a blanket.

Kurt looked to the other man, saw in relief that he was fully clothed and shrugged his shoulders.

"I was thinking about ... Blaine", he confessed and rubbed his nose. Sebastian realized Kurt's swollen eyes and sat next to him thinking about what to say, but Kurt outpaced him.

"Have you ever loved someone so much that you didn't care how weird the relationship was, you just wanted to have this person around you? A part of you knew that he didn't love you, but that didn't matter. As long as he was with you ..."

Kurt cried relentlessly now and Sebastian bit his lips, thinking about how he had wanted to own Kurt at least.

Knowing that he would never stay of his own accord.

"I did", Sebastian mumbled and Kurt laughed weakly.

"I thought you don't love?"

"I try to avoid it."

 

*

 

"What?", Kurt screamed into his mobile. "What do you mean with: 'Dad's not with you'?"

Sebastian looked to Kurt who sat next to him on the couch, talking to Carole with a confused expression.

"He told us that – what?" Kurt bit his lips and looked to the ground, shaking his head slowly. "No ..."

Kurt was pensive and sad when he listened to the female voice.

"I see. Thanks, Carole."

Sebastian reached his arm out and put it around Kurt's shoulder.

"What's wrong?", he asked when Kurt ended the call and laid his phone on the table.

"He's not there. Carole said there was ... there was a demonstration today ... against the toy-law."

"Oh, that's amazing! Why didn't he tell us? We would have joined!"

"Because there is the police", Kurt hissed and jumped up. "They put the people they can catch in jail and only the ones who can pay come free."

Sebastian raised both brows.

"Carole said that she went with Dad to such events the first times, but they agreed to don't do that anymore since it's so expensive when they always have to pay high bails."

Kurt rubbed his watery eyes and sniveled.

"She means he would have been at home already if nothing had happened. And she also said that she can't afford-"

"Hey, don't cry now!", Sebastian whispered and walked to Kurt, to stroke his upper arm. "They won't hurt him. And we will go now and pay that bail. Don't worry."

Kurt crossed his arms and lowered his head.

"I will pay everything back when this all is over ... if it's over ... sometime."

"Sure", Sebastian laughed, "but I add interest."

 

*

 

"Thank's, Smythe", Burt finally said as he said down on the couch and stroked over his bloody lip.

"No problem."

"How much did the assholes want?"

"Doesn't matter."

"I will repay you every penny."

"How?"

Burt held his breath and clenched two fists.

"I will find a way."

"How could you do this to me?", Kurt spat finally. He had been silent within the past hours, always thinking about what to say and how.

"I was just trying to protect you-"

"You CAN'T protect me, Dad!"

"I tried to. And I tried to protect all the other people. Someone has to make the first step, someone has to make a difference-"

"But not with demonstrations with 200 people in Lima, Ohio!"

Sebastian looked to Kurt and then to his father. They were both tense and Sebastian asked himself whether he should just leave them alone or not.

 

He slowly walked out of the room and no one seemed to notice.

 

"You showed me that if you believe in something with all your heart-"

"No, Dad", Kurt interrupted him and stepped to him, putting one hand on his shoulder, "dreams don't come true. And if you really want to help me - stop doing such dangerous things!"

"But-"

"And you tell Carole that you're sorry."

"She knows that I can't help."

"I thought you love her."

"I love you both", Burt explained and took his son's hands in his own. "I know that it's expensive, but I organize these demonstrations and I won't stop until I see you without that collar."

Kurt pulled his hands away and blinked back his tears.

"I don't want you guys to break up just because of me. I don't want to cause you any trouble, Dad", Kurt whispered and started to cry.

 

_"Still angry because you're not in the Showcase?"_

_"It's not about that, Blaine", Kurt explained and rubbed his ring when they were in New York, in Kurt's loft. "You lied to me ... again."_

_"As I said, I didn't plan it to be a lie. I just couldn't convince the old lady that we should involve you. She just likes my voice more than yours."_

_Kurt crossed his arms and laughed._

_"And I'm sure you tried everything to convince her."_

_"Stop being jealous of me!", Blaine held against Kurt who jumped up.  
_

_"What? I'm not! I'm-"_

_"You're jealous of my voice and my cock."_

_Kurt blinked a few times, fighting against his tears and lowered his head._

_"You always start with that issue ..."_

_"Because you behave like a jealous, bitchy girl and that pisses me off!"_

 

_Kurt got angry. He hated when Blaine called him girl._

_And Blaine knew that._

 

_"You know what pisses me off? That you're an unfaithful liar! I mean I helped you when you felt bad about your own body and what have you done when it was okay again? You went into that bar and-"_

_"How often do I have to tell you that I like dicks?"_

_"Do you even listen to yourself?", Kurt yelled at him._

_"You should understand how good it feels when a dick is inside of one's body."_

_"How can you be so undiscerning?"_

_"Do you think I like to have sex with other people than you?"_

 

_Kurt raised both brows._

_He couldn't believe his ears and he hated that the conversation was at a point where he knew he would be the loser._

_"Then stop doing it."_

_"Don't akt like if it was my fault."_

_"Whose fault is it then?"_

_"Yours."_

_"What?"_

_"If you had a cock-"_

_Kurt stopped listening to Blaine. He just stared into the distance and cried, hoping Blaine would soothe him, but he didn't._

_Blaine left the loft with the words: "You can choose whether you love me enough to accept me for the way I am, how I accept you, or whether you want to break up with me again."_

 

_Two days later Kurt went to Blaine. They sat on a staircase of Mercedes and Sam's apartment and Kurt told Blaine that he chose to love and trust him through everything._

 

_And he felt like he was betraying himself and all the people who had someday treated him properly._

_Which weren't that many._

 

"You don't cause us any trouble", Burt soothed him and pulled Kurt in a tight hug. "This situation is not your fault, Kurt. It's the fault of the government, of people like Blaine and of people who watch. But no matter what happens, it's not your fault."

"If I only was normal", Kurt cried and pressed his body against his Dad.

"You're my boy," Burt mumbled, "I don't want you to be normal. I want you to be you. I already told you that it's your job to be you, no matter what."

"I'm sorry ... so sorry."

Burt squeezed his son tighter and told him how much he loved him. He told him that he was perfect and his heart broke with every minute Kurt kept crying and with every time he mumbled the word: 'sorry'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all your nice reviews! I love you, you are the best!
> 
> *hugs you all*
> 
> Til next week! :*


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TALKING AND MAKING OUT *o*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, it's not already weekend :'D But you guys were so cute and I'm writing chapter 14 already, so I felt bad keeping this chapter back.
> 
> I want you all to look at this amazing fanart http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/314/3/a/2020_by_pethkurayami-d85xgzo.jpg by this cutie: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peth/pseuds/Peth  
> :') (thanks again!) *hugs you*
> 
> You are always very welcome to draw fanart!!! T_T

Kurt's eyes were still watery and swollen from all the crying when he went into the bathroom.

"Sorry", he mumbled when he saw Sebastian and wanted to go again, but Sebastian held him.

"No, no. It's alright. I'm finished."

Kurt nodded and walked to the sink from where he fetched his toothbrush and started to brush his teeth.

"Are you okay?", Sebastian asked after a while in concern and Kurt spit one time, turned his head and smiled at Sebastian.

"I'm fine."

Kurt was really a great actor. His smile was flawless.

But Sebastian knew a faked smile when he saw one.

He was used to faking smiles by himself.

 

"Your dad is free again, why are you so sad?"

"I'm not", Kurt lied and washed his toothbrush. He felt how Sebastian stepped close to him and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. Kurt raised his head and looked at their reflections in the mirror and directly in Sebastian's eyes.

"What are we?"

Sebastian laughed and laid his chin on Kurt's shoulder.

"Are we alone in the universe?"

"No, I'm serious!", Kurt said eagerly and with a tense body. "We keep kissing each other and touching ... but what are we?"

Sebastian understood what Kurt meant and couldn't hold his gaze any longer. He cleared his throat and released him, shrugging his shoulders.

"Is there even a 'we'? Or is it just Sebastian Smythe and his Toy?"

"I'm sorry for touching you. I had no clue I would push you into an existential crisis."

"Yeah", Kurt mumbled, "it's always so funny to not take me serious."

Sebastian tilted his head and sighed.

"God, Kurt, what do you want to hear?"

"The truth. I really love the truth", Kurt whispered and looked to the ground.

Sebastian bit on his lower lip and tried to remember the last time anyone wanted to know the truth about his feelings.

 

"Kurt, I think you should go sleeping. Today was pretty exhausting-"

"You went away when Dad and I were talking. That was nice. You can be nice if you want to. But I think you are only nice to people you like. So you like me? Or are you just nice that I trust you so that we have sex and in reality I was never more to you than a funny toy?"

Sebastian scratched the corner of his mouth and laughed nervously because he wasn't able to say something.

"I ... I take back that I don't like you", Kurt whispered and felt tears in his eyes and a burning heat in his whole body.

"Why do you say that?"  


Kurt raised his head and scrutinized Sebastian and held his gaze then.

"B-because I think we should talk properly."

"Yeah, well, no. Thanks for the offer. I refuse."

Kurt's eyes widened when Sebastian simply left the bathroom and walked downstairs. He followed him though, annoyed that this guy never talked about his feelings.

"Hey, where are you going?", Kurt asked as Sebastian took his jacket.

"I need a drink."

"W-we can drink something together-"  


"No, I – I need a drink in a club."

 

*

 

Kurt was thinking for a long time about going after Sebastian. If he didn't, everything would stay the same. It would continue to be weird between him and Sebastian.

 

If he did, he made another step closer to the guy who bought him.

The guy who tried to blind him with a slushie.

The guy he had hated for years.

 

*

 

He stood in the 'Scandals' and already saw Sebastian sitting at the bar. On the same seat as when Blaine and he were meeting him that time during High School.

 

Kurt walked nervously to the bar and felt more than uncomfortable, always being remembered of the first and last time he had been here with Blaine.

When he came closer he realized that Sebastian was talking with the guy next to him.

Not talking, flirting.

He brushed with his fingers through the strangers hair and Kurt hated that this scene made him feel so weird.

 

Kurt cleared his throat loudly and stood close in front of the two men. Both looked at him and Sebastian started to grin lightly.

"Can we help you?", the stranger asked and Kurt tugged at his scarf and raised his head.

"He can", he answered and nodded to Sebastian who leaned back.

"You said you had no boyfriend!", the guy said to Sebastian who shrugged his shoulders.

"That's true."

Kurt bit his lips and hated himself for running after Sebastian.

Sebastian puckered his brows by looking at Kurt's sad eyes and swallowed.

"Listen, Tim", Sebastian said to the stranger.

"It's Tom."  


"Yeah, about that. Go and find someone who actually cares about your name."

The man was just as surprised as Kurt.

"But we were just talking about-"

"You're boring."  


"Didn't look like that when you bought me the drink!"

"Compassion. And now fuck off!"

The guy showed Sebastian his middle finger and bumped into Kurt when he stood up and got lost on the dance floor.

 

"Take a seat", Sebastian said with a smile and Kurt hesitated, but sat on the barstool and watched how Sebastian nipped at his beer. It had felt wrong when he had seen Sebastian with this guy ... It had been looking so much like a date.

And now, since Sebastian sent the men away, was this a date as well?

 

"Did you take a Taxi?", Sebastian asked Kurt while Kurt turned his back to the bar and watched people dancing, laughing and kissing.

"I went with Dad's car."

"Alone?"  


"Yes."  


"If there had been a patrol-"

"Yeah, well: no risk, no weird conversation with a weird guy."

Sebastian bent over the bar.

"A Shirley Temple", he told the barkeeper who simply nodded and started to mix the cocktail.

"Why do you even think I like that?"

"You like it sweet things."

He shoved the drink to Kurt and nodded with a grin. Kurt took the glass but didn't drink. He just stared at the dancefloor and remembered exactly how Blaine and Sebastian were dancing there. He remembered how he was trying to edge Sebastian aside but gave up after a few dances.

 

"Thinking about our first time here?"

Kurt smiled sadly and felt suddenly so cold and awkward.

"I wanted to make you jealous", Sebastian whispered hesitantly and laid one hand on Kurt's knee. "And I didn't try to blind anyone with that stupid slushie. I wanted to hit your chest, but I'm bad at throwing and the hobbit was so small-"

"You're talking nonsense."

"I'm serious. I didn't want to hurt you, well, I wanted, but-"

"And why? Why were you so mean? Why when your intention wasn't to get Blaine?", Kurt asked confused and shoved Sebastian's hands off his leg.

Sebastian took another sip and lowered his head in thoughts. Kurt was so nice this evening. He went through so much the past week and this evening with his dad. He told him that he liked him (indirectly) and Sebastian felt like he should tell him at least a part of his feelings.

"When I saw you for the first time-" Sebastian interrupted himself by laughing slightly and Kurt turned his face to him and scanned his blushed cheeks.

 

_Sebastian liked the way this strange boy blushed when he complimented him or when he was telling him about his boyfriend who suddenly stood next to them in the Lima Bean. Sebastian looked up and down the other boy's body and couldn't hold his grin back._

 

_He heard Blaine telling him that this was Kurt, his boyfriend and Sebastian saw in Kurt's gaze that within few seconds, he got the scene and was now willing to kill the rivalry._

_"Pleasure", he told Sebastian and reached out his hand, Sebastian nodded with a grin and gripped the hand._

 

_It was strange, but as soon as this guy showed up, he lost interest in Blaine. He lost interest in all the other people around them. He watched how Kurt sat down, gripping Blaine's arm tightly._

_A funny scene, keeping in mind that he looked so damn hot and could've had absolutely every guy, but he chose this one. Not that Blaine was unattractive, but this other boy was different._

_There was something in his eyes, a sparkle that showed the world that he knew pain and was longing for more. His eyes were so beautiful blue and innocent, though a bit bitchy, since Sebastian was hitting on his boyfriend._

 

_Sebastian invited them into Scandals and hoped to get to know more about Kurt, who looked so sexy when he was jealous and his gaze hate filled, like now._

 

"You clenched around that boy's arm as if he was the most precious thing in the world."

"My mistake."

"And to make one thing clear: I had no clue that he was in a relationship when I asked him on a date. And I had been flirting on a very sexual level with him before. He should've told me about you before that coffee in the Lima Bean. He should've said no."

"I ask you questions and you give me answers to things I never asked ..."

"I hated you", Sebastian mumbled and Kurt nipped at his drink.

"No news."

"I hated that I ... couldn't hate you."

Kurt looked in Sebastian's eyes and to his lips, feeling how his pulse was increasing.

"I hated that I liked boys in general. And then there was you – and you were so different and I hated you for that. For everything."

"So ... you behaved just like David Karofsky?! You guys need to understand that it's not my fault if you want to bang me!", Kurt hissed and Sebastian laughed.

"I know, I'm sorry."

He put one forefinger on Kurt's cheek and guided it along his pale cheekbone, but Kurt averted his gaze, looking pensive.

"So you don't hate me anymore?", Kurt asked with a low voice.

"No. I don't hate you."

"I don't hate you either."

Sebastian laughed and felt the urge to press a kiss on Kurt's lips, but Kurt shoved his finger from his face away and looked more than confused.

"You were jealous of that stranger", Sebastian said suddenly.

"In your dreams."

"Oh, if you're not jealous I can go and get lucky with that guy", Sebastian teased and stood up, but Kurt gripped his hand.

"Don't play with me, Smythe."

Sebastian tensed up and looked to the ground.

"You can go and get lucky, but don't you dare to kiss me one more time then."

He left hold of his hand and put his glass on the bar.

"I'm not playing with you."  


"Then what are you doing?"

He hesitantly shrugged his shoulders and bit his lips.

"Why can't you just say one time what you really think? Or feel?"

"You want to know what I feel?"  


"Yes."

Sebastian licked his lips and nodded.

"I feel like kissing you."

"Why?"  


"I like to kiss you."

"Why?"

"God, damn it! Don't tell me I'm the only one of us who enjoys that!"

"And again no answer to my question."

"I like the way your lips feel", he answered and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I like ... you. I liked you in High School before I knew about ... your body. And I like you still, since I know about it."

 

Kurt stared at Sebastian, heard the loud music and couldn't understand anything. Sebastian looked so different, with his flushed cheeks and pensive face. What he was saying was unbelievable.

"I can't stop liking you, I tried. But I like you no matter how your body looks like. You could even have three legs, I would still ... still want to kiss you. And you have gorgeous legs, by the way."

Sebastian raised his head and wanted to look into Kurt's eyes, but he averted his gaze and was now the one who had blushed cheeks.

"Can you say that again?"

"You have gorgeous legs?"

"No", Kurt laughed and rubbed his eyes, "the part with my body."

Sebastian took a deep breath and smiled when he bent to Kurt and laid one hand on his waist.

"I would always like you, no matter how your body looks like."

Kurt rubbed his eyes more eagerly and sniveled a bit, trying to hide his tears with a smile.

"I ... that's kinda the best thing someone can say to me."

"And you're happy, even when it's only Sebastian Smythe who says it?"

Kurt laid his trembling hand on Sebastian's and forced himself to raise his head and look at him. Sebastian was grinning and his eyes were telling Kurt that he was honest.

"Especially when it's Sebastian Smythe."

Sebastian laughed nervously, but his heart skipped a beat when Kurt smiled sheepishly back.

 

He wasn't really thinking, he was just acting the way he felt was right when he gripped Kurt's hand and pulled him after him into the toilet. It smelled like every toilet in a club like this, but it was empty and Kurt suddenly was in a bathroom stall with Sebastian, being pressed against the wall and receiving wild kisses.

 

He felt so nervous, dizzy and extremely uneasy when Sebastian kept kissing him. Not because it was Sebastian, but because he had no clue how to touch him. He definitely wanted to show him some affection as well, but he didn't know how.

 

Sebastian removed Kurt's scarf and put it around his own neck. He brushed with his forefinger over Kurt's collar and scanned his watery eyes, admiring to see Kurt like this. He loved the collar in an odd way. He loved that Kurt was his, even when it was in name only. He loved that, in his imagination, Kurt belonged him, only him and the fact that he was here, in the dirty toilet, willing to make out, drove him crazy.

 

Slowly, Kurt laid both hands on the back of Sebastian's head and pulled him closer. He felt way too exposed when Sebastian was looking at him like this.

"Do you still wear the panties we bought?", Sebastian asked and shoved his right hand between Kurt's legs. Kurt winced because he was so surprised, but he kissed Sebastian's cheek and gripped his hair when Sebastian pressed his head against his and continued with whispering things into his ear.

"Or do you wear boring boxer shorts again?"

Kurt cleared his throat and felt like dying when he listened to himself giving Sebastian an answer.

"Why don't you check it?"

He bit his lips and lowered his head when Sebastian pulled away and looked at him. Again he had no clue what Kurt was thinking, but he encouraged him and didn't say 'no', so he gripped his belt and opened it. Sebastian stood still for a while and looked to Kurt's chest that was quivering.

"You alright?", he asked and laid one hand on Kurt's neck. Kurt took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yeah."

Sebastian licked his lips when he opened the zipper of Kurt's jeans and pushed his right hand between Kurt's legs, causing the man to tense up.

 

It was too much for Sebastian when he felt the lace under his palm. Kurt was really wearing the cute panties.

"You wear them without me telling you to do?"  


"I kinda ... like them", Kurt admitted in a whisper and whimpered when Sebastian gripped his pussy tightly and pressed his crotch against the stall.

"You make me so hard", Sebastian breathed into Kurt's neck and continued with kissing him just when he started to move his right hand and rub his folds over his underwear. Kurt stared at the ceiling and to the ground, to the toilet and shoved both hands on Sebastian's chest. He knew he would stop if he pushed him away or if he just said 'no'. But somehow, in an odd way, Kurt didn't want to say no, though he felt so ashamed for feeling this way.

 

"What do you think, how fast can I get you off?", he asked Kurt, gripped the cloth of his jeans and pulled them down to his knees. Kurt trembled when he covered his crotch and Sebastian just smirked and stroked Kurt's collar.

"You look divine ... like this."

Kurt held his breath and heard how someone opened the door of the bathroom. He swallowed his tears and blushed even more when they could recognize how a zipper got opened and someone piddled.

 _Dear God, what am I doing?,_ he thought and realized the way Sebastian was looking at him, as if he could read his thoughts. Luckily, the guy washed his hands and disappeared soon, but the uneasy feeling was still there.

"I bet you feel like a filthy schoolboy now", Sebastian laughed and stroked Kurt's abdomen.

"Worse", was his reply and he felt that Sebastian was gripping his hands. He didn't fight back or anything, he simply obeyed with a fitful breathing and let Sebastian slide one hand under the soft lace of his panties. He knew he was crying and all he could do was putting one of his trembling hands on Sebastian's eyes.

 

Sebastian stood still and put his free hand on Kurt's.

"Why-"

"I don't like when you look at me like this", Kurt explained and saw Sebastian's grin.

"But you do want me to give you the best orgasm you ever had?"

Kurt blushed and puckered both brows, but it didn't feel that horrible when Sebastian's eyes weren't staring at him like this.

He didn't answer Sebastian's teasing question, he just kissed his swollen lips and Sebastian removed the hand from Kurt's and gripped one butt cheek of him while he eagerly kissed back.

 

Kurt stroked up and down Sebastian's spine when he kept rubbing his palm over Kurt's sensitive folds. He felt so warm, so good and weird. And then Sebastian slid one finger between his folds and Kurt stopped breathing.

"You're so hot", Sebastian murmured and bit playfully on Kurt's collarbones. Kurt was completely tense when Sebastian pushed one finger into his vagina.

"God, you're wet", he whispered and Kurt felt tears running down his face.

"I'm not into slut shaming", he meant and Sebastian pressed his body closer to Kurt's and slipped a second finger in.

"But you are wet-"

"I don't want to know what that part of my body is or does. Keep your thoughts to yourself."

Sebastian jerked his fingers suddenly up and Kurt cried out loud.

"No need to be so rough, you assho-"

He pressed a kiss on Kurt's mouth, to silence him, what felt weird due to Kurt's hand on his eyes, but he was successful.

Kurt was silent then and even pressed against Sebastian's body.

 

"I like the way act when you're on a stage", Sebastian whispered and pressed his face to Kurt's while Kurt laid his other hand on Sebastian's pumping arm and felt his moving biceps through his pullover.

"I like the way you act when you're shy and embarrassed ... like now." He started to move his thumb as well, searched Kurt's clit, found it and pressed against it, while Kurt moaned slightly and turned his head away.

"I love your ass", Sebastian praised and slapped one of Kurt's cheeks. Not only one time, but so many times that all Kurt could feel was the pain in his ass other than the pleasure between his legs.

"Bas", he complained weakly and achieved that Sebastian pulled his fingers out of him.

"D-don't stop!", Kurt whimpered and released Sebastian's eyes. He regretted it immediately when Sebastian grinned at him.

"Don't worry, I will make you come", he promised and caressed Kurt's hot cheeks with one hand. "Poor, Baby, huh? So eager to get off."

"Which part of 'I'm not into slut shaming' was too difficult for you to understand?", Kurt hissed and slapped Sebastian's hand away.

"The 'not'", Sebastian laughed and flipped Kurt over, slapping his other ass cheek a few times.

"Bas, please", he breathed and turned his head back, receiving a hot kiss.

"Your ass is perfect. Really", he said as if this would excuse anything.

"And that's why you slap it?"

"Such a perfect ass needs to get slapped", Sebastian whispered, gripped Kurt at his neck and bent him forward. Kurt was tense and confused, but he let Sebastian push him into the new position, forebodingly that he would fuck him now. In fact, Sebastian continued with kissing his neck and shoulders, pressed his erection against his butt and wrapped both hands around Kurt's body. One hand was quite happy with playing with Kurt's collar while the other hand searched its way to Kurt's hot wet hole again.

 

Kurt gasped for air when Sebastian fingered him again. He had to admit that nothing ever felt so good inside of him than Sebastian's fingers. When he had sex with a guy, it was usually about the guy putting his dick in and get off. That was at least his experience with the few sexual partners Kurt had had in his life.

Not to mention that Blaine never cared to satisfy him.

But this was so different.

What was Sebastian's reward for making him feel good in this way?

 

_Kurt smiled at Blaine who was lying between his legs and raised his gaze._

_"That felt good", he said breathlessly and played with Blaine's curls._

_"Was this your orgasm now?"_

_Kurt shrugged his shoulders. He never had one and had no clue how this would feel like._

_"I don't know. But I feel good."_

_Blaine sat up and Kurt looked shamelessly at his naked body. They had had sex just for one time and they were still exploring their bodies, but Kurt enjoyed every minute they were doing things like this._

_"I don't like how that tastes", Blaine said with a disgusted face and wiped his mouth at his hand._

_"I wouldn't say that your sperm is the best thing ever, either," Kurt said and Blaine laughed and started to tickle him._

 

_"My turn now", he decided then and Kurt was a bit confused._

_"It's unfair if you're the only one who has an orgasm", Blaine explained himself and although Kurt didn't really feel like he just had an orgasm, he knew it was unfair._

_"Fine. But I don't want that thing as deep as the last time. I felt like suffocating."_

_"Don't be a killjoy now. We have to test our limits", Blaine held against Kurt._

_"I'm not a killjoy. And that thing in my throat is my limit-"_

_"I was fingering you and licking that weird thing for minutes and you don't want to give me anything in return?"_

_"Stop being such a Drama Queen!"_

_"Stop being so selfish!"_

_Kurt panted with rage, but knelt down and started to give Blaine a blow job and Blaine smiled. Knowing that Kurt was perfect for him._

_And that he would be even more perfect._

_After a few months._

_It all worked out because he was so desperate to be loved that he accepted any love he received._

 

Kurt put a hand on the wall and laid his forehead against it while his other hand reached back and tugged at Sebastian's hair while he still thrusted and twisted his fingers into Kurt's soaked pussy so quick and good.

Kurt bit his lips and tried to hold his moans back, but Sebastian's thumb which was pressing against at his clit made it impossible.

"Be loud, beautiful, don't hold back."

Kurt hated the sound of Sebastian's calm voice and knew that his answer would be just a wobbly stutter.

"W-we're in a public – hmmm – ba-bathroom", he stuttered and his voice was even higher pitched than he had expected.

Sebastian laughed lightly and Kurt felt tears in his eyes and he tried to straighten himself, but Sebastian suddenly pressed against his G-spot and Kurt was a whimpering something in his arms.

"I wasn't laughing at you", he cheered the man with the quick breathing up, "you're just so cute."

Kurt gripped Sebastian's hair tighter and felt the tears running down his face when his knees started to tremble.

"And about the 'we-thing'", Sebastian started and pinched Kurt's clit lightly. Kurt held his breath and was amazed at the sensation of both pain and pleasure. And as soon as Kurt's focus drifted from the pain in his clit to the pleasure of Sebastian pressing against that spot again, Kurt moaned even louder. More tears were running down his cheeks and he was sure he would've fallen to the ground if Sebastian wasn't holding him.

"... I would love if there was a 'we'", he simply said and Kurt came on his fingers and collapsed in his arms.

 

Sebastian grinned smugly when he pulled Kurt's sweaty body close against his. He had so many things he wanted to say, but all of them would be slut shaming, so he didn't say anything and just held Kurt as close and gentle as he could.

 

"How do you feel?", he asked after a while and Kurt pulled his underwear and jeans up without saying anything.

 

When he turned around he saw that Sebastian was licking the fingers which he was using to make Kurt feel good. Kurt's pupils widened and he blushed more, although he had been sure that he had been looking like a tomato before.

"What? You taste so good. You want to taste you too?", Sebastian held his fingers in front of Kurt's mouth, but Kurt shook his head eagerly and sank on his knees, gripping Sebastian's belt.

"Whoa, what are you doing?"

Kurt held his breath and shrugged his shoulders.

"I-I just ... you made me come and now you-"

"This was about you, cutie, ignore my boner", he laughed and helped Kurt to get up again.

"But-"

Sebastian smiled at Kurt and kissed him tenderly.

"And now tell me how you feel!"

Kurt felt confused more than anything else.

"You don't want me to suck you off?"

"Of course I do! But not now."

Sebastian stroked Kurt's waist, but Kurt stared to the ground, looking pensive.

"But why have you ... I mean why - when you don't want me to do the same for you?"

 

Sebastian wanted to punch Blaine in his ugly face for hurting Kurt so much. He reached out his arms and hugged Kurt tightly, pressing his nose against his temple.

"I wanted to make you feel good because I-" ... _love you_ ... "like you. And because it's fucking hot when you're a sobbing mess in my arms and on my fingers. And you taste amazing."

He released Kurt and smiled at his tear-stained and puzzled face.

"You're so beautiful", he whispered and brushed with his thumb over his lips. He looked then to the collar and his smile vanished. He wanted Kurt to be happy and he knew that Kurt would be happy when this collar would be far away. But Sebastian also knew that by the day Kurt was without the collar, he would've been away forever.

 

He was afraid of that day.

 

*

 

He was surprised when Kurt was standing in front of the bathroom at home and stared to the ground, playing with his fingers.

"Do you stay upstairs tonight?", he asked Sebastian and he thought about it.

"Where shall I sleep?"

"In my bed", Kurt replied hesitantly.

"And you on the couch or what?"

"Am I so fat that there is no place for me next to you in my bed or what?", Kurt screamed with watery eyes and blushed cheeks and Sebastian laughed.

"Look at this. You just invited me to sleep with you."

"Next to me, not with me", he corrected him and felt weird when Sebastian gripped his waist and pulled him against his crotch. Kurt lowered his head and felt how Sebastian gripped his chin and tilted it up.

"I would love to fall asleep next to you."

 

Kurt expected Sebastian to pull him close and to touch him, but he didn't do anything like this. He just stayed on his side of the small bed and tried to sleep.

"I missed sleeping in the same bed as you", he whispered and Kurt smiled into the darkness.

"Thanks for paying the bail for that. And I ... I liked our conversation in the club."

"You mean you liked me fingering your desperate pussy?"

Sebastian laughed when he felt the slap and he gripped into the darkness and held Kurt's hand firmly until he fell asleep, not wanting to let him go.

Ever.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for your reviews, pls review this time as well xo
> 
> I hope you could enjoy this (pretty fluffy) chapter. The next one will be triggering as hell (the most horrible flashback ever)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Close, but far away ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a triggering piece of shit.
> 
> I have actually a !!!rape scene!!! in the flashback, so please don't read the flashback if that would trigger you!  
> (It hurt enough while I was writing it ...)
> 
> Poor baby ...

"You didn't sleep on the couch", Burt said to Sebastian when he came down the stairs and stepped into the kitchen.

"Good morning, likewise."

Burt sighed and nipped at his coffee while Sebastian yawned and sat down on opposite Kurt's dad.

"What do you want to hear, old man?"

"I saw you lying there, in his bed", Burt said in thoughts and rubbed his face. "I was wondering if that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been at the demonstration and you wouldn't have had to pay for me."

"I think due to that issue we came closer", Sebastian admitted and grinned. "Thanks for that."

Burt narrowed his eyes to slits and clenched two fists.

"Kurt might be a thankful guy, he might appear dependent, but he is strong. And there will come the day when he realizes what you really are. That day came when he was with Blaine and that day will come when he ... is with you. And then he will be gone and will never come back."

Sebastian wished that he hadn't paid a penny for this idiot.

"It's not my fault that your wife ran away", he said and stood up, "and I'm not Blaine."

 

*

 

"I'm so tired", Kurt mumbled when he stepped into Sebastian's house in LA.

"Me too. Let's sleep together."

Kurt laughed at Sebastian, but turned his face quickly away.

 

It was Wednesday evening and they just came from Lima. Sebastian had been telling Kurt that they could stay as long there as he wanted to, but Kurt wanted to go back to Sebastian's home.

So they did.

 

Sebastian laid his hands on Kurt's waist and pulled him against him.

"I'm serious", he breathed in his ear and Kurt shook his head.

"Me, too. I'm tired."

 

*

 

"I'm bored", Kurt told Samantha as he drank a tea. "I'm always bored. I mean there is nothing to do. At the beginning, I cleaned the house, but it is absolutely clean now."

"What were you doing when you were hiding in New York?"

"I could work a few hours actually ... I read."

"Sebastian has a great book taste", she said and Kurt nodded his head.

"I know almost every book he has. We have kinda the same taste."

Sebastian's sister smiled and patted Kurt's shoulder.

"Oh!", she almost screamed, "my babysitter will move next week and I have no one to look after Laura. Would you do that?"

 

And so Kurt became the babysitter of Sebastian's niece.

And time passed.

And nothing changed.

 

*

 

"Candles?", Kurt asked and Sebastian thought about it.

"Love", Sebastian replied and Kurt smiled.

"Sugar?"

"Honey."

"Coffee?"

"Cake."

They were playing the game where one said a word and the other one had to tell what was crossing his mind. They both wanted to play this to get to know each other better.

"Dalton?"

Sebastian lowered his head.

"Loneliness", he answered and bit on his lower lip. "My turn now."

Kurt nodded in thoughts.

"Fine."

"Song?" Sebastian wanted to know.

"Applause."

"Sex?"

Kurt winced and rolled his eyes slightly.

"Pain."

Sebastian raised both brows in surprise.

"Pleasure?"

"Kisses."

"... Really?"

"We said we wouldn't judge each other", Kurt mumbled and pouted while Sebastian smiled.

"True ... sorry."

 

*

 

Sebastian looked at Kurt's profile Sunday morning. He was so beautiful that he just wanted to kiss him, but Kurt was a bit withdrawn since they had been back in LA. It was almost like they had never been as close as they actually were.

 

It was almost like there had never been a 'we' at all.

 

*

 

"It's not that difficult to put the milk back into the fridge, is it?", Kurt complained eagerly and stared at Sebastian.

"Just put it back and stop looking at me like that."

"Maybe there are other people who want cold milk as well. But they have to wait now, because you are too lazy to put the milk back!"

"You can have some protein by me."

Kurt laughed nervously and felt Sebastian's hand on his face, but slapped it away.

"You are like this since two weeks now, since we're back!"

"Like what?", Kurt asked.

"Like a little unsatisfied teenage boy."

Kurt puckered both brows.

"You really are unsatisfied, let me help you", he muttered and pulled Kurt close.

"No!", Kurt screamed and pushed him away.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"Not in the mood."

"Oh wait, is it already 4 weeks again? Do you have your period?"

Kurt slapped Sebastian in his face and walked away.

 

*

 

Kurt didn't know how this could happen.

 

It all had started that they were mad at each other for days and then they were talking about Wicked and they had absolutely the same opinion. And now Kurt was lying on his back, on the couch, Sebastian fucking him with a condom.

 

He knew he wanted this and Sebastian felt embarrassingly good, kinda amazing, but it was so wrong at the same time and Kurt started to cry.

"Fuck", Sebastian hissed and pulled immediately out. "Did I hurt you?"

He shook his head.

"No, I- just - I don't want that anymore ..."

Kurt pushed Sebastian away and he stared down between Kurt's legs.

"Well, two minutes ago-"

"I changed my mind", Kurt mumbled and pulled his clothes back on.

"Did I ... do something wrong?"

Kurt slipped into his jeans and swallowed.

"No."

"Then what is it?"

"It's nothing", Kurt retorted, fetched his shirt and walked out of the living room.

 

*

 

It was unusual that Sebastian had business meetings at such a time. It was past 9 p.m. and Kurt sat down on the couch and turned the TV on. He soon found a new reality TV show. But these shows weren't as good as they used to be.

They started to become shitty, as the reality became hell.

 

But this show was more than Kurt could stand.

 

Its name was 'Joys With Toys' and Kurt knew he should've turned the TV off, but he couldn't. He watched how 10 men with vaginas stood next to each other, naked. Most of them had their heads lowered and all of them had bruises all over their bodies.

"And now these 10 Toys will run a race. The winner will get a surprise and the loser ... well, he will get a surprise too!", the host said and people in the audience were laughing. Kurt felt tears in his eyes and looked around, searching Sebastian, but then he realized that he was still at work and he felt even worse.

"Don't worry, we have the permission of every owner, so it's legally secured. I say: 'let's have Joys with Toys!'"

A loud bang was audible and the men started running. Kurt could barely see what happened, due to his tears, but he heard people laughing and saw that there were a few obstacles.

 

He stood up and walked around in the living room.

 _Bas, where are you?,_ he thought and looked to the screen again.

One man was being forced to drink the piss of another man, a cisgender man, while others were whipping him. This had to be the loser, obviously and Kurt sank on the ground, rubbing his eyes.

_Sebastian ... someone ... help them. Help them!_ , Kurt thought.

 

_Kurt felt amazing since a few months, since he had this Broddway Show and was popular and kinda famous. But he realized that Blaine behaved strange._

_It almost seemed like he didn't grudge him his success._

 

_"Why can't we finally get married?", Blaine asked one evening when they were cuddling in bed._

_"I'm so busy with my show. It's not the right time."_

_"It never is", Blaine hissed and sat up. Kurt stroked his back and kissed his neck._

_"So sexy, when you're angry."_

_Blaine panted with rage and slapped Kurt's hand away. He hated the new Kurt who was so similar to the old Kurt at the beginning of their relationship. He was so confident and happy, way too independent than the partner Blaine wanted and needed._

 

_"I will fuck other dicks until we're married."_

_"Cheat on me one more time and I'll break up with you. Conclusively", Kurt said with a calm voice and Blaine scanned his face. He was serious and Blaine simply hated that look in Kurt's face._

_"You think you're superior now, since you have this little show."_

_Kurt swallowed and puckered his brows._

_"I never said I felt su-"_

_"You're not", Blaine interrupted him and knelt between Kurt's legs._

_"I didn't-"_

_"Shh."_

_Blaine put his forefinger on Kurt's mouth and began to stroke the inside of Kurt's upper arms. He could always seduce him, when he did that. In fact, Kurt laid back and spread his legs willingly._

 

_Blaine kissed him gently while he pulled the sweatpants down Kurt's legs along with his underwear._

_Kurt wanted to sit up, but Blaine gripped his shoulders and pinned him down into the mattress. Kurt knew that Blaine used to be bossy during sex and it was okay, but he felt weird when Blaine looked at him with such an angry expression._

_"Am I still sexy?", he whispered into Kurt's ear and Kurt felt his face heat up. He tried to sit up again, but Blaine laid one hand around his throat and gripped it roughly._

 

_Kurt felt goose pimples erupting all over his body and tears in his eyes. In this moment, Blaine was a stranger. A stranger who hurt him. His eyes were unfamiliar, the way he shoved his pants down to his knees with his free hand seemed weird._

_Everything seemed to be weird._

_"Blaine, stop that!", Kurt begged and laid both hands on the hand around his throat, but Blaine pressed even tighter around the neck, making Kurt cough._

_"B-Blaine, you hurt me!"_

_Kurt felt the first tears running down his temples when Blaine laughed._

_"I know", he answered, licked his free forefinger and shoved it up into Kurt's ass._

_"No, no, sto – ughh!"_

_Kurt tried to push Blaine's hand away, but the more he tried, the tighter his grip became._

_"Be a good girl and I do it with lube."_

_Kurt stared at the ceiling and stopped moving. His neck hurt, his ass hurt and there was an overwhelming pain in his chest._

 

_He could literally feel his heart breaking._

 

_"Good girl", Blaine praised when Kurt stopped fighting and released his throat to grip the lube from the nightstand. Kurt sniveled and reached around his aching neck before he sat up and began to crawl over the mattress, away from Blaine, but a hand on his ankle held him back._

_"Nah-uh!"_

_"I don't want that now, Blaine!", Kurt tried again, but felt how Blaine tugged him back to himself._

_"NO!", Kurt hissed as convincingly as he could, but Blaine just slapped his face when he turned to him. Kurt cried more when he started to kick the person he loved the most, but Blaine positioned himself with his knees on his thighs and pressed Kurt's face into the mattress._

_Kurt tried to push himself up, but Blaine had all his weight on the hands which were pinning him down._

 

_Kurt didn't know what was worse, the feeling to die, or the knowledge that the man he wanted to marry did this to him._

_Just when Kurt felt dizzy and hadn't enough strength to fight back, Blaine gripped his hair and pulled his head up, giving Kurt a few seconds to gasp for air. He kissed his wet cheek and placed his other hand around his throat again._

_"You're not superior to me", Blaine breathed with a dark voice. "You're mine ... I own you."_

 

_"No", Kurt sobbed weakly and felt how Blaine pressed his face into the mattress again. He felt ashamed that he couldn't even fight back as hard as before._

_Blaine pulled his head up again and was silent when he tied Kurt's wrists on his back. Kurt squirmed and writhed beneath his fiancé and had no clue what he used to tie him up or where that item suddenly came from._

_"Stop it!", he sobbed again, "Please. I don't want it like this, Blaine!"_

_"But I want it like this", Blaine replied, opened the bottle of lube and shoved soon a slick finger up into Kurt's asshole._

_Kurt bit his lips and tried to crawl away again, but he could barely move. Blaine's weight was on his thighs now and he felt kinda helpless with his hands on his back._

 

_Blaine didn't stop doing what he was up to, no matter how often Kurt cried in pain or said 'no'._

 

_"I love you", Blaine whispered when he was close to his orgasm and Kurt didn't want to know what Blaine did to people he hated._

_"C'mon", Blaine ordered and slapped Kurt's ass a few times, "say it back!"_

_Kurt felt like laughing, but instead he just cried more and then Blaine did this thing with the mattress again and again._

_And again._

 

_"Just admit that you love me and I stop doing this", he almost yelled when he still fucked the roped man who was gasping for air._

_"I-I ... I don't want this", Kurt simply mumbled and got pressed into the mattress once more, while Blaine hit his ass aggressively._

 

_Kurt had reached the moment when he was okay with dying. He wished he could just die. He wanted that to stop. Somehow._

_No matter how._

 

_"Say it", Blaine screamed, pulled Kurt up at his hair and against his chest. One hand held his throat and the other reached down to his clit, still fucking him._

_"Say it, little girl, I know you do."_

_Kurt shook his head and cried out when Blaine pinched his clit so firmly that it felt like he was ripping it out._

_"Blaine, stop, stop! It hurts so much!"_

_"Admit it!", he insisted when he gripped it harder._

_"Stop it, please!"_

_"Just say it!"_

_Kurt stared into the distance as Blaine made his body feel numb._

_"I love you", he murmured._

_"What was this?"_

_"I love you", he repeated himself and Blaine left hold off his clit and throat so that Kurt fell abruptly back on his face again and Blaine came._

 

_He felt his fiancé pulling out of his stretched hole and heard how he was slipping back into his jeans. Kurt looked out of the window when he felt another slap on his butt._

_"Good girl. I let you here like this for a few hours. I think you need to be remembered who you belong to", Blaine decided and bent to Kurt's face, to kiss him, but Kurt turned his head away. Of course, Blaine forced a kiss on his lips and Kurt didn't know why, but somehow was this forced kiss after that forced past minutes even worse than anything he could've done to him. If he had just left after that scene, maybe Kurt would've called a doctor and would've made Blaine go to a therapist, but that kiss was too much._

_That kiss killed him._

_And his love for that person._

 

_He was still crying when Blaine came back after five hours._

 

After a few minutes of crying, he focused on the show again and saw a child. An innocent child. Kurt didn't know how young he was, but he was sure that he wasn't older than 12 or 13. And they pinned him on the ground and pulled a dog over him.

 

Kurt jumped up and walked into the kitchen where he began to randomly shatter some dishes. He sank down on the floor and cried relentlessly until he saw a special piece of what used to be a plate and held his breath.

 

*

 

Sebastian sighed when they decided to take a break. He nipped at his coffee and rubbed his temples when he heard some guys talking.

"My girlfriend just texted me that the new show is hilarious."

"I think it's sick what they do with the Toys."

Sebastian looked to them and felt his pulse increasing.

"A new show?", he asked and tensed up.

"Haven't you heard about it?"  


"I don't watch so much TV ..."  


"It's a new way to humiliate Toys", one said.

"It's fun", another added and Sebastian jumped up.

"And the show is on right now?"

"Yeah-"

"I need to go."

"What? But we're not ready yet, we need to discuss-" He stopped talking when Sebastian was gone.

 

*

 

Sebastian saw shards on the floor and walked into the kitchen where the light was on. He needed a few moments to understand the scene, Kurt sitting there with a fragment of porcelain in his trembling hands.

 

"Kurt", Sebastian said soothingly and Kurt winced and lowered his head furthermore. Sebastian walked to him and sat also down, carefully reaching out his hand.

"Give me the shard", he insisted and Kurt shook his head eagerly, clenching around that piece of porcelain so tight that blood was running down his fist.

"Kurt, stop that!", he almost screamed and forced his fist apart and the shard fell to the ground. Kurt sobbed more and began to hit his head back against the kitchen cupboard.

"No, Kurt, stop!"

Sebastian slid closer to the crying man, laid his left hand on the back of his head, and his right hand on his shoulder, hugging him.

"You saw the show", Sebastian whispered and hated himself that he hadn't been able to protect Kurt.

"Wrong", Kurt sobbed and continued with hitting his head back, but Sebastian was the one who felt the pain on his knuckles. "So wrong."

"It is. But I'm sure this insanity will soon stop", Sebastian tried and stroked Kurt's cheek while he looked pensively at his upper arms and was happy that he didn't hurt himself more than that.

Kurt ducked his head and closed his eyes. He had reached the moment when he was okay with dying. He wished he could just die. He wanted the pain to stop. Somehow.

No matter how.

 

"You're safe. You're not alone. I'm here." Sebastian stroked Kurt's body and realized that he had stopped crying. He wasn't trembling anymore either, but his eyes seemed to be dead.

"Do we clean your wound now?"

Kurt didn't respond so Sebastian pulled him up to the sink and let some warm water run over his wound and bloody palm. He carefully dabbed his wound, disinfected and taped it up while Kurt didn't move one muscle of his body.

 

"Do you want to drink something? A tea? Are you hungry?"  
Kurt simply shook his head and let Sebastian pull him to the staircase. When they arrived, Sebastian heard that the TV was still on, so he walked to the living room.

"One moment", he told Kurt and wanted to turn the TV off, but he stopped his movements when he saw how two guys were double penetrating the ass of a young boy so hard that he was bleeding.

Sebastian held his breath and turned the TV off. He couldn't believe that there was actually a show that glorified this rape culture.

 

Kurt wasn't in the hallway anymore when Sebastian arrived the staircase. He panicked and ran upstairs. He saw that the bathroom door was open and caught a sight of Kurt who was looking at himself in the mirror.

"Kurt?"

Kurt lowered his head immediately and puckered his brows.

"Let's go to bed", Sebastian mumbled and stroked up and down Kurt's spine. "Okay?"

Kurt nodded and walked ahead into Sebastian's bedroom. He didn't change into comfortable sweatpants or anything, but just slipped under the blankets in his tight jeans.

 

Kurt felt numb when Sebastian snuggled up to him and stroked his sides.

"Do you want to talk?"

There was no reply, it felt like it was too exhausting to talk, or even move.

 

Breathing alone seemed to be a challenge.

 

*

 

Kurt opened his eyes and started crying. The sun shined directly at his face and he tugged the blankets up over his head. He felt as horrible as after the time when Blaine had raped him. He felt so useless, weak and terrible. He hated himself and just wanted to disappear, he clenched his fists and cried in pain when his right hand hurt extremely. Then he remembered yesterday and how Sebastian helped him.

_Sebastian ..._

Kurt tilted his head up and looked to the side of Sebastian's bed where a piece of paper was lying on his pillow.

 

Good morning, beautiful!

 

I stay at home today.

I'm trying to make pancakes, but I'm a shitty cook.

But you already know that ...

 

*

 

"I don't want you to stay at home because of me, I'm fine!", Kurt told Sebastian when he walked into the living room.

Sebastian gripped the zipper and wanted to turn the TV off, but it was too late. Kurt already saw the face of his ex-fiancé.

"What is he doing on a TV show?", Kurt asked breathlessly and Sebastian sighed.

"He talks ... about ... you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a scale to 1 to 10 how much do you hate my Blaine?
> 
> I'm currently writing chapter 16, and I'm close to the end. Sorry for that sad chapter ... But let me tell you: THIS CHAPTER WAS THE WORST! It gets better from now on!!!
> 
> (thanks for your reviews, love ya!)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Down ... and up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am agaaaaain
> 
> um yes, nothing too triggering, I guess.
> 
> Have fun!

"About me?"

"About the life you both had", Sebastian told Kurt who shook his head slowly.

"I-I don't understand ..."

"He ruins your reputation ... he makes sure that you can never have a comeback in showbiz."

Kurt looked down to his hands and saw teardrops on his skin, hearing Sebastian and Blaine's voices and not feeling anything.

"He tells them about your body and ... he tells lies. He is a bad loser."

Kurt collapsed on the ground.

 

*

 

"Uncle Kurtie, let's play!", Laura woke him up and jumped on his stomach. Kurt turned laid both hands on his face and heard Sebastian talking.

"I told you to not wake him, cutie", he said reproachfully, gripped the girl at her waist and pulled her up.

"Wanna play with uncle Kurtie. He said he would continue with reading fairy tales to me today."

Sebastian let his niece down and took her hand.

"I'mma read something to you, okay?"  


"I like it more when uncle Kurtie reads them. He does it always so funny."

"Uncle Kurtie is ill today."

"Ohh", Laura sighed and freed herself out of her uncle's grip. "Then I read fairy tales to him."

Kurt removed his hands from his face and watched how Laura disappeared.

"I tell her to-"

"It's okay", Kurt whispered weakly and she came back with a book of fairytales.

"Mummy says that ill people need to be taken care of", she mumbled and flipped through the book. "Do you want to hear the story of th-the l-itt ... little me-ermai-id? Oh that's how mermaid looks like. I need to practice reading."

"I would love to listen you reading that story to me", Kurt replied, forced himself to smile lightly and sat slowly up.

"Do I disturb if I listen as well?", Sebastian asked and Laura shook her head.

"You can stay, uncle Sebby."

"Kurt?"

Kurt didn't look at him, he just nodded.

"Sure, you can stay."

Sebastian smiled and sat next to Kurt, wrapping and arm around him and listening how his niece read a fairy tale to them.

 

*

 

Sebastian was downstairs when the door bell rang the first time.

"Yes?", he asked into the intercom.

"Kurt Hummel? We are from WWBAQ, can we have an interview about how you tried to live the life of a man when you were actually a to-"

Sebastian looked out of the window, saw the people and heard the bell ringing again. He decided to turn the bell off and sent his sister a message that they were encircled. She texted him soon back and told him that she was on her way.

 

With every minute that passed, more people with cameras and microphones showed up in front of Sebastian's gate and he could only think about that Kurt didn't deserve any of that.

And he wanted Blaine to die a painful death.

 

*

 

It was hard to get his sister through the gate because the others tried to sneak in as well.

"You are the owner of the former Broadway star?"

"How is it to own a Toy?"

"How is sex with a Toy like?"

"Where is Kurt Hummel?"

Sebastian tried to ignore them all and didn't say anything while Samantha and he closed the gate and walked into Sebastian's house again.

  
"What the hell is going on?"  


"Blaine was giving an interview today and explained why no one ever heard something about the Broadway star anymore."

"Is he okay?", she asked and Sebastian rubbed his eyes.

"Have you heard about 'Joys with Toys'?"

"I read that the show got canceled, because they received so many complaints. But I didn't see it, luckily."

"Kurt saw it", he sniveled and cleared his throat. "He saw it and I was in a meeting and when I came home yesterday, he was trying to harm himself and this morning – I don't know how he should endure that. How can a person endure that? How can I help him?"

Samantha hugged her younger brother tightly and wiped away his tears.

"Where is he?"

"In bed, he passed out during Blaine's interview. Laura was reading fairy tales to us."

"I talk to him-"

"But you need to go home soon, there are more reporters with every minute-"

"It's weekend, we could stay here."

 

They reached Sebastian's bedroom and saw Kurt and Laura sleeping into each other's arms. He sighed and leaned against the door frame and felt how Samanta gripped his hand.

"I kinda want to lock them in until the world is a better place", Sebastian mumbled and his sister smiled at him.

"You would have to lock them in forever."

 

*

 

Samantha and Kurt were cooking dinner while Sebastian and Laura were playing in the living room. Kurt stirred the tomato sauce and tried to ignore the noise from outside where the people were shaking at the iron gate.

Samantha put some music on her mobile on and smiled at Kurt, but he just looked back into the pot.

"I know it doesn't help you, but I'm really sorry for how everything turned out."

"It's not your fault that my ex is an idiot."

"No, but I feel bad nonetheless."

Kurt nodded.

"I would really appreciate if we don't talk about it."

"Sure", she agreed and started to lay the table.

 

*

 

Samantha and Laura slept in Sebastian's queen sized bed while Kurt was on the couch and Sebastian on the armchair.

Both couldn't sleep.

"Kurt?", Sebastian asked after a while and turned his head to the couch. He could see a few shadows and saw the contours of Kurt's profile. "Are you still awake?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to do something?"

"What?"

"Listen to me?"

Sebastian heard a sigh.

"Please?"

"What do you want to tell me?"  


"You always want to know stuff about me, are you still interested?"

 

Kurt thought about it. It was true that he always wanted to know more about his owner on paper, but was it the right time? He felt like shit right now, the whole day ...

"Yeah."

"There was a time when I felt really lonely and sad ... when I was in Dalton and ..." He stopped talking and sighed. "I felt so much that there was something missing, I felt only like a shattered piece of glass and every time someone said something mean I had the feeling to break even more apart."

Kurt wiped his tears away. He knew that feeling. He was broken for such a long time.

"And what put you back together?", Kurt asked with a wobbly voice.

"You did."

"Me?"

Sebastian smiled and nodded into the darkness.

"I was kinda inspired by you. The way you got into NYADA at last ... you always seemed to be so strong."

Kurt laughed.

"I never was."

"You still are."

Kurt sat up and bit his lips.

"Blaine came to me once and told me that he wanted the Warbler's help to propose to you. I told him that he was mad if he tried to propose, since you two weren't even a couple to that time and you still had to deal with the problems of your dad's health. Then he was healthy, after all and a few days later you were back together and I thought that you really loved him, that's why I agreed to sing and help him."  


"So what's the point of giving me horrible flashbacks of Blaine?"

"I hated to see you guys kissing at that staircase", Sebastian told Kurt. "I didn't want you to go back to him, since I knew what a faithless whore he was and I didn't know why, but I felt that you deserved more. I just want to apologize that I helped to push you into that engagement. I did it because I wanted you to be happy, but the contrary happened."

 

"You think you cheer me up if you admit that you had a crush on me?"  
"Would it cheer you up if I admit that this feeling of having a crush on you never vanished and is now as strong as never before?"

Kurt puckered his brows and felt actually not in the mood of flirting. Sebastian saying such things was pretty nice and he sure had a good intention, but Kurt didn't know what to do and started crying again.

"Fuck, I'm sorry", Sebastian mumbled, stood up and sat close to Kurt, pulling him in his arms. "I didn't want to make you cry."  
"I – I feel ... not so good ..."

Sebastian felt tears in his eyes and wished that he could help Kurt somehow, but all he could do was holding him close, but he felt useless nonetheless.

 

*

 

"Yeah, that's me", Sebastian said when he had his business mobile in his hands and was talking with someone the next day. Kurt was playing memory with Laura on the floor, but raised his head and locked eyes with Sebastian.

"That's – um ... that sounds incredible."

Sebastian lowered his head and nodded a few times.

"Yes, yes he's here." He reached his phone to Kurt who raised both brows.

"It looks like a group of starry-eyed idealists are interested in your story and want you as famous victim of the toy-law to be their figurehead."

Kurt jumped up and smiled for the first time in days when he gripped Sebastian's phone and walked out of the living room.

"Sounds dangerous?", Samantha asked and Sebastian nodded.

"I don't want him to do that."

"Would be the opportunity to start his career again while changing the world, you know that he will do it?"

"Yes", Sebastian replied and hated the bitterness of this knowledge.

 

*

 

"Are you really sure that you want to give that interview? You never know what these people ask."

"I'm fine, Bas", Kurt said cheerfully, tugged at his suit and watched their reflections in the mirror in the bathroom.

"I'm worried about you", Sebastian said and ran his fingers up and down Kurt's waist. Kurt smiled at his reflection and turned around, kissing him on his cheek.

"When we were talking with Nancy, you liked her too."

"She is nice ..."

"You see? She said there are bodyguards which help me to sit into the car and then we drive to the studio. I will use Blaine's intrigue for myself. Everyone was talking about me the past week, people are still standing outside. Blaine tried to kill me with these interviews, but he actually helped me. I will tell them my version, the truth. I will tell the world what is going on, I will wake the assholes up and help that this world becomes what it used to be. Or better."

Sebastian couldn't deny that this determined Kurt was pretty sexy, but he felt this numbing fear more than anything.

"But all guys who tried to change the world got killed. Think of Marin Luther King, Gandhi-"

"But they all changed the world for the better."

"The world is not a better place when you're dead", Sebastian mumbled and kissed Kurt's forehead.

 

"I can't forget what they did to the child in that show", Kurt whispered and looked down to the ground. "Such things should never happen. And I will fight to end this slavery and to achieve revenge for us. At any price."

 

*

 

Kurt was leaning comfortably in the big chair and smiled at the woman he had been talking to before the show backstage. His collar was visible, that was their intention.

"Good evening, I'm Susanne Leonard and our present guest is the former Broadway star Kurt Hummel."

Kurt smiled and felt his head heating up when he looked nervously to the small audience, but they all clapped.

"I say 'former star' because this man is a victim of the toy-law. The government forbade him to live his dream and although he was at the top of his career, they stole his job, later his money and at last his freedom."

 

Sebastian nipped at his glass of water and spilled a few drops. He was extremely nervous in front of his TV, maybe even more nervous than Kurt.

 

"Please, Mr Hummel tell us your story."

"Well, I – shall I start with the night of my arrest?"

"I was thinking about to correcting some of the things your ex-fiancé told everyone."

Kurt's eyes widened.

"At first, I never forced him to do anything sexual ... to the contrary", he whispered and lowered his head.

"To the contrary?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders and played with his fingers.

"But the story begins at another point."

 

*

 

Sebastian was sitting there and stared to the screen while he turned his phone off. It was unbelievable how many people called him and wanted to know whether it was true, what Kurt was telling them.

 

"And what about the person who claims himself as your owner?"

"As I said, we know each other since High School. We ... get along well."

"So it was all peaceful and you felt at home immediately?"

Kurt sighed and puckered both brows.

"Not exactly. We had a rough start and-"

"Did he do things Blaine did to you?"

Kurt closed his eyes and tears ran down his cheeks.

"He was never as harmful as Blaine and we are really close now."

"It must feel horrible to wake up and being reminded every day that you are enslaved, due to the collar."

"That's true."

"Oh, an audience member has a request", Susanne said and pointed at the guy who stood up and received a microphone.

"My girlfriend and I were lately talking about the toy-law", he started and Kurt felt tears in his eyes again. Nancy had told him that Susanne was on their side, but she had no clue about the audience.

 

"The money who the government takes from the toys' bank accounts is used for charity. I think it's okay to hurt a minority if it helps the community."

Susanne bit her lips and wanted to say something, but Kurt outpaced her.

"And what exactly is the point of a community that watches how a 12-year-old child gets raped by a dog? If I was a cisgender man I didn't want to live in such a country where it's okay to kill one child to have money for another one. And where is the proof that the government uses this money for the poor childs? The taxes are high enough. I highly doubt that they use only one penny of that money for the rest of the population."

"I don't get why the toy-law is such a big deal. I mean there aren't that many people who are like this anyway", the guy said and Kurt clenched two fists.

"And if there was just one person who was like this. This law is all kinds of wrong. It tells us that some people are more valuable than others and this is wrong. I thought the human race learned from their mistakes. They did the same thing with black people, Jews, women and homosexuals. It doesn't matter if a million people are victims or just one person. The population of this country can't call themselves human if this continues. Because humanity is the knowledge that all people are the same. Humanity doesn't distinguish between genders, body types, color of skin or religion."

The guy was silent and the audience gave Kurt a standing ovation and he smiled back to Nancy who nodded her head and wiped away her tears.

 

Sebastian liked what Kurt had said, but he felt uneasy at the same time. He felt like something big was coming towards them.

Something dangerous.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and your reviews! <3
> 
> YAAY Kurt uses B-holes 'revenge' for himself! (and the world)  
> And I like how cute Laura is when talking with Kurt :))
> 
> Oh and the next chapter will be long and beautiful :')
> 
> see you soon  
> xo  
> aida


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SEX!!! *-*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 3 chapters left, I think I will update soon ... If I have time!

"Please don't go to that demonstration", Sebastian begged Kurt, but he just laughed.

"It's safe."

"It's not. If you really want to go, I come with you-"

"No. The bail will be high enough for one of us."

Sebastian gripped Kurt's wrist and held it firmly, looking into his eyes.

"I know you love all the attention you get but-"

"It's not about attention, Bas", he mumbled, "I can make a difference. There were so many demonstrations the past days, it's simply beautiful!"

"Burt called. He thinks also that you should contain yourself and not go there."  


"Sure, since he listened to me when I told him to not go to demonstrations."

"I won't let you go."

"Excuse me?"

"They even said that the police will be there."

"And the television too", Kurt said and freed his hand. "This is important."

"This is dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt."

"That's nice, but no risk, no freedom."

Kurt slipped into his shoes and gripped Sebastian's business phone.

"I'mma call you when they caught me."

Sebastian gripped Kurt at his shoulders and held them.

"You stay!"

"You have no right to decide what I do!", Kurt hissed and clenched two fists. "Anyway, you should be thankful. I didn't tell anybody what you did to me during the first days. Try to hold me back and the whole world will know."

 

*

 

"I hope you're happy", he yelled at Kurt and locked the door behind him.

"Thanks for paying. Just list all the stuff you ever bought me, I will pay it all back when I have access to my bank account again."

Sebastian gripped Kurt's hand and looked at his bloody lip.

"They were looking for you, right?"

"Kinda", Kurt whispered and shrugged his shoulders. "But I'm happy that I was there. We were so many, Sebastian. I feel like there will be a change soon!"

 

Sebastian nodded and smiled while he brushed through Kurt's hair.

"I'm glad it's just your lip."

"And some insults, but I will get over it", Kurt said and smiled back. Sebastian bent to Kurt and licked his bloody lip.

"Oh, that's, um-"

"I'm so glad that they didn't hurt you more." He hugged Kurt gingerly and pressed his nose against his sweaty hair. "I was so scared."

Kurt hugged Sebastian back and closed his eyes. It was the first time in days that he felt safe and almost a bit ... happy.

"Sorry for blackmailing you. I would've never-"

"I know."

Sebastian ended the hug and looked into Kurt's beautiful eyes.

"I really admire your bravery, though I detest your recklessness."

Kurt laughed and took Sebastian's hands in his.

"I admire the moments when you talk about your feelings." Sebastian grinned and squeezed Kurt's hands. "But I hate when you act like I'm a thing you own."

"I know that you're not a thing, but I wished I could own you."

 

*

 

"Bas, Bas, Bas, wake up!", Kurt screamed and pinched Sebastian's cheek.

"It's Sunday morning, what's wrong with you?", Sebastian mumbled.

"There was another demonstration yesterday and they had posters where they quoted me!"

"Awesome ..."

"And there were so many people that the police didn't put one in jail at all."

"What?"  


Sebastian finally sat up. That was new that the police didn't put at least 20 % of people who were at the demonstrations in jail.

"They all sat down and held each other and the police gave up! We won! This is the first step to a better future!"

 

*

 

Kurt didn't know who this strange woman was, but he could already tell that he didn't like her. He didn't like the way she was leaning against Sebastian in the hallway over and over again after he pushed her away.

"Kurt?!", Sebastian said nervously when he saw that Kurt was standing on the stairs.

"You have a Toy?", the woman asked Sebastian and looked up and down Kurt's body.

"That's none of your business", he explained, gripped her hand and pulled her to the door. "I should've never let you in. My mistake."

"So you prefer having sex with a Toy than having sex with me?"

"Angelina, I would rather fuck dogs than spending one moment more with you."

 

*

 

"Why are you so upset? Because of my ex?", Sebastian asked Kurt, who was sitting in the armchair while Sebastian was on the couch. Both pretended to watch TV, but they were tense and pensive.

"Was that the woman you were talking with on the phone once?"

"Yes. And you're jealous now or what?"  
Kurt pulled his legs against his body and turned his blushed face away.

"You wish."

"So it would've been okay for me to sleep with her?", Sebastian asked and grinned at Kurt's behavior.

The situation between them had changed just as the situation in the world did. Kurt was way more open since the demonstrations were working out so well and since the majority of the media stopped harassing and started admiring him.

Kurt felt more confident and he and Sebastian talked often, made out and sometimes just cuddled on the couch while watching something, or listening to music.

 

Sometimes Sebastian was close to thinking that they were a couple.

But then he saw the collar.

And he knew that Kurt would be gone if it was away.

 

"You can sleep with whoever you want to", Kurt retorted and tensed up when Sebastian stood up, walked to him and tilted his head up, pressing a claiming kiss on his lips.

"Then I'mma sleep with you", he whispered and Kurt bit his lips while he felt how his heart started to beat so much faster than before.

"That wasn't ... I didn't-"  


Sebastian continued with kissing him, what turned out to be difficult since he couldn't stop grinning when Kurt gripped his neck and responded so eagerly to his touch.

"Stop smirking, you meerkat!"

His smile grew wider and he nipped one last time at Kurt's lower lip before he knelt down next to the chair and looked up to Kurt, stroking his hands.

 

Kurt puckered his brows and wished that he would just continue with kissing. It felt strange when Sebastian was looking at him like this.

Like he was ... special.

 

Kurt averted his gaze and swallowed.

"What?", he asked to end the silence and Sebastian stroked his flushed cheek with such a tenderness that made Kurt blush even more.

"You're beautiful."  


"Shut up."

"I'm serious."  


Kurt wanted to pull his hands away, but Sebastian gripped them harshly.

"Seba-"  


"You're beautiful inside and outside. Everywhere."

Kurt lowered his head and stared down to their hands.

"I wouldn't want you to have sex with someone else", Kurt whispered and felt tears in his eyes. He didn't know why he was saying this. It just felt right since Sebastian made him feel like this.

Thus he wanted Sebastian to be happy too.

 

Sebastian smiled, knowing that this was probably the most honest and romantic thing Kurt would ever say to him, so he grabbed the chance and kissed Kurt again, pushing his tongue between his soft lips.

Kurt obeyed easily and opened his mouth, letting Sebastian play with his tongue and suck at it.

"Do you want to have sex?", Kurt asked hesitantly and Sebastian felt how his body heat up.

"How can you ask? I thought you know me."  


Kurt laughed and let Sebastian grip his hand and pull him upstairs. He looked shamelessly at Sebastian's butt and asked himself whether this was actually okay. Whether everything he desired was okay or whether he betrayed himself by wanting all these things.

 

"By the way, I'm really proud that you use your new fame and good reputation to change the world", Sebastian said when they were walking and Kurt squeezed his hand a bit tighter.

"Thanks that you let me go to the interviews and demonstrations ... that's not a given ..."

"It's the least I can do for you since I hurt you so bad."

They reached Sebastian's bedroom and Kurt kept standing behind Sebastian, leaning his forehead against one shoulder blade.

"Why did you even let your ex in?", he asked after a while because he needed to know this last thing more about him, before he decided to be ready to open up to him like never before.

 

"She told me she needed money, but she ended up kissing me."

Kurt brushed over Sebastian's sides and closed his eyes, pressing his body close to his back. Sebastian stared into the distance and thought about how oddly Kurt was touching him. As if he was scared to hurt him if he pressed his skin too rough.

"Thanks that you never told them the truth about me in the interviews. They would've probably dismissed me if they knew that I did such things to a person."

"I told them what's important. And I try to forgive you ..."

"Really?", Sebastian asked and turned around, moving Kurt's hands from his back to his butt. Kurt nodded his head and smiled nervously.

 

"I think you're just a bit emotionally disturbed, but nobody's perfect."

Sebastian gripped Kurt at his hips and pushed him without a warning harshly on his bed. Kurt held his eye contact and felt a weird warm feeling in his stomach and between his legs. Sebastian's eyes were warm, flirting and that mixed with his rough actions did things to Kurt he couldn't quite handle.

"Emotionally disturbed?", Sebastian laughed and pulled his shirt over his head. "And yet you want me to rock you to sleep?"

Kurt bit his lips.

 _Yes,_ he screamed in thoughts, but he didn't even dare to nod his head. He just started to open his belt and pushed his jeans down his legs. Sebastian gripped them when they were at Kurt's ankles and pulled them roughly away, causing Kurt to slip a few inches further to him.

 

Kurt took a deep breath and felt tears in his eyes when Sebastian was looking at him with this wolfish and yet so sexy gaze.

"You look so fuckable", he told Kurt, who puckered his brows and pulled his legs against his chest.

"We're on a level of flirting which I don't really like", he explained and watched how Sebastian stepped out of his pants and underwear.

Kurt averted his gaze and stared at the ceiling when the mattress shifted as Sebastian crawled on the bed.

"I love it", Sebastian said with a deep voice and pressed a sloppy kiss on Kurt's lips. Kurt closed his eyes and kissed back, feeling a bit torn when he stroked Sebastian's biceps.

They kept kissing and feeling each other for a while. Kurt was drifting as Sebastian kissed his eyelids while he stroked his neck. He did it so soft, so gentle and Kurt didn't really know what to do to make Sebastian feel good, apart from completely obey to him. He had never been into french kisses, but when Sebastian shoved his tongue into his mouth, he let him do what he wanted and he had to admit that it felt somehow good.

Maybe it had just been Blaine's way to french kiss that had been awful.

 

Kurt realized that he was moaning just in the moment when Sebastian whispered: "We haven't even started yet." He blushed in embarrassment and hid his head on Sebastian's shoulder and Sebastian kept stroking him and sucking bruises into his neck. Kurt couldn't remember when a foreplay had ever been so good, or so long. Even the day when he and Sebastian had this almost-sex-thing, it happened fast.

Maybe too fast.

 

"Mhh", Kurt moaned when Sebastian began to stroke the inside of Kurt's thighs and slowly shoved his hand further to his pussy. Kurt tensed up and realized how wet and greedy he already was. He pushed himself away from Sebastian and knelt in front of him.

Sebastian noticed with a smug grin how Kurt's gaze met his hard cock and he grinned even more when Kurt blushed further, but finally doffed his sweater.

Kurt sat back on his heels and looked at the blankets, waiting for Sebastian to do anything, or to tell him what he wanted him to do.

 

He was rough when he gripped Kurt's shoulders, pressed him into the mattress and sat on his thighs. Kurt could feel his boner against his hip and swallowed nervously.

"You know that you still need to beg for it, right?", Sebastian asked him and Kurt clenched two fists, warning Sebastian with his gaze.

"Screw you, Smythe!"

Kurt knew that this was similar to what he had said to him when he had been at home with Sebastian the first day. He could exactly remember how Sebastian got angry and spanked him and he was a bit afraid that Sebastian would get mad again, but he just smirked, knelt down, between Kurt's legs and gripped Kurt's knees, staring hauntingly in Kurt's eyes.

"I bet you're already wet", he simply said and Kurt panted and sat up, but Sebastian pushed him harshly back.

"I will continue with that kind of slut shaming and dirty talk if you keep your defenses and behave like a bitchy brat."

Kurt hated himself that he felt a throbbing need between his legs, despite of what Sebastian had just said. Maybe he felt so aroused 'because' Sebastian had said that, because he showed him that he was in charge. Kurt tried to think about something else, tried to forget their last sentences and Sebastian seemed to do the same, because he stroked Kurt's pussy over his cute panties which had little hearts on it.

 

He stared at Sebastian's head, but this one was looking intensively to his fingers, as if he had to be careful where he touched Kurt.

"Bas?"

Sebastian smiled about Kurt's high-pitched voice and looked up to him.

"I ... "

"What?", he asked and pulled his hands gingerly away, moving his head to Kurt and stroking his neck. "Something wrong?"

"No. It's just-" He stopped talking again and shook his head. "I don't like when you're down there."

"But how-"

"I want you close."

Sebastian smiled and laid himself gingerly on Kurt's body. Kurt felt Sebastian's weight pressing him down, holding him, surrounding him and wrapped his arms around his naked back.

"Like this?"

"Yeah", he replied happily and felt how Sebastian continued with stroking his folds while he rubbed his erection against Kurt's hipbones and pressed light kisses on his chest. Kurt digged the fingers of one hand in Sebastian's hair and kept one hand on his biceps. He felt like he got wetter with every minute he felt his flexing muscles under his palm or this warm body on his.

 

 _Finally,_ Kurt thought when Sebastian started to pull his panties down. Kurt lifted his pelvis for that and Sebastian knelt once again between his legs. Kurt's eyes widened when he saw how soaked his underwear was and he felt like dying when Sebastian smelled at it.

"Stop it!", Kurt screamed and pulled the panties out of Sebastian's hands."That's disgusting."  
"What?", Sebastian laughed, "You smell divine ... I could eat you."

He laid on his stomach and bit lightly on Kurt's folds, making Kurt scream and writhe.

"Baaas-"  


Sebastian gripped Kurt's ass, each cheek with one hand and started to lick eagerly between Kurt's folds. Kurt pushed his hips instinctively up, but Sebastian used one hand to pin him down.

"No."

"What?"

"You have to beg for more."

Kurt wanted to press his legs together, but Sebastian's head was in the way and when he felt his hot tongue flicking over his clit, he spread his legs wider and digged his nails into the blankets. He closed his eyes and tried to enjoy it, since Sebastian felt amazing. His tongue was amazing. And he did it, because he wanted to and not because he wanted Kurt to give him a blow job in return, like Blaine used to do it.

 

The joy didn't last for long, though. Every touch of Sebastian's tongue asked for more and the more Kurt needed it, the lighter Sebastian's licks became, as if he could read his thoughts.

"Bas", Kurt breathed and tried once more to press himself against his touch, but Sebastian pressed his nails sharply into Kurt's hips, holding him still.

"Beg for it."

"More!", Kurt mumbled and bit his lips when Sebastian laughed at him and his breath tickled the sensitive, wet parts of where Sebastian had been licking him.

"You need to beg, not to give me orders."

Usually, Kurt would sit up, yell at Sebastian and be mad, but Sebastian kept caressing his thighs this way that made him crazy. He couldn't really concentrate to anything else, but this feeling in his body.

This feeling that bawled for more.

"Please ... more."

"That's better", Sebastian praised and Kurt felt tears flooding his eyes while that part of his body started to ache when Sebastian finally licked him again, barely harder than before.

"Please, Bas ... more."

"More of what?"

"More of you", Kurt answered and pushed himself further against Sebastian's head. Sebastian panted with rage, spread Kurt's folds apart and blew into his wet insides.

Kurt squirmed and writhed while he sobbed and felt goose pimples erupting all over his skin.

"Look what I can do to you within seconds. Don't annoy me", he warned and Kurt pressed his legs together when Sebastian tilted his head up. "You either beg or get nothing at all. And I don't want any more of that pushing your pussy up, do you get that?"

Sebastian's eyes were so beautiful, though he was lightly angry, demanding, dominating and so extremely hot.

"Y-yes, Sir!", Kurt said and bit his lips then. Sebastian only laughed and stroked his knee.

"Sir?"

"I – I didn't-"

"I don't mind."  


"I do!", Kurt insisted and buried his blushed face in his hands. How could he call Sebastian 'Sir'?

"You can always call me 'Sir' if you want to", Sebastian teased and Kurt shook his head.

"I don't ever want to do that."

"You just did!"

"That was just becau – uhhh"

Sebastian was sucking at his clit now and although Kurt felt the urge to press against his wet mouth, he tried to stay still. Sebastian continued with licking his folds and then fucked into his soaked pussy with his tongue for a few times, admiring the fact that Kurt obeyed that well.

"Good boy", he mumbled when he sat on his heels and Kurt couldn't understand why he liked that Sebastian had said that. When Blaine had been saying things like this, Kurt could never take that serious, but when Sebastian was praising him like that, Kurt could believe it. And he was proud that he was good. And most of all: he was happy that Sebastian had addressed him with the gender he identified with.

 

Sebastian bent over Kurt and fetched something out of the drawer of his nightstand. Kurt gripped his chance to stare at his dick that was so thick and dangling between Sebastian's legs.

"Do you fuck me now?"

"Did you beg for it?", Sebastian retorted, but pulled a condom over nonetheless and positioned himself between Kurt's thighs.

Kurt expected Sebastian to lick him again, but he laid down on Kurt, kissing him gently while he rubbed his cock against Kurt's sensitive folds.

 

Kurt couldn't even kiss back, he was too aroused to pay attention to something else than his vagina.

"Please, fuck me now!", he finally begged and Sebastian laughed lightly into his neck.

"That's what I want to hear", he whispered, but kept teasing Kurt with his hard cock and twisting his nipples while he kissed his neck over his collar.

"Then do it!"

"Ask again."

Kurt digged his nails into Sebastian's back, wanting to hurt him, but Sebastien simply pulled himself away and sat back on his heels.

"No", Kurt complained when he stopped the endearment but Sebastian teased him again by pressing his swollen clit.

"Ask again!"

"Please", Kurt whined and felt like he was losing himself. Like he didn't even know who he was. All he knew was that there was Sebastian.

And that he needed him.

Now.

"Please ... fuck me."

"And again."

Kurt pouted and sat up, but Sebastian laid a hand on his chest and pressed him on his back again.

"Be good and say it only one more time."

Kurt averted his angry gaze, but he was soon willing to say anything when Sebastian was licking and blowing like this over his clit.

"Please ... please fuck me."

"Why?"

"What?"

Kurt took a deep breath, knowing that something bad would happen if he couldn't come within the next minutes.

"Why do you want to have sex with me?"

"Because I'm horny."

"I'm serious."

 _Me too!,_ Kurt thought, but became as pensive as he could get, never forgetting the fingers between his folds.

"Because I like when you touch me", he answered, feeling unutterably vulnerable.

"Why?"

"Because it feels good ..."

Sebastian puckered his brows, used both hands and pressed directly with two fingers into Kurt's vagina, causing him to moan.

"Bas-"

"But every guy could make you feel so good, right?"

"No", Kurt murmured with a dizzy head and took a deep breath. "O-only you make me feel like this."

"Why?"

Kurt thought about it and simply wrapped his legs around Sebastian's body.

"I don't know", he answered honestly and hoped that this was answer enough for Sebastian, but it didn't look like that.

"Are you mine?", he wanted to know and Kurt's heart was racing like never before.

"You know that I'm your slave on paper."

"I don't care what is written on a lousy piece of paper!", Sebastian hissed and stopped with caressing Kurt. He bent over him, each hand on one of Kurt's wrists. "Are you mine?"

Kurt pressed his lips together. He just wanted to come, all these things Sebastian wanted him to say seemed like too much, too far away.

"I – I don't know what you're aiming at ..."  
"I want to know whether you're mine and no one else's."

Kurt clenched two fists under Sebastian's grip and averted his gaze.

"Look at me."

He took a deep breath and pouted more.

"I said look at me!"

Kurt rolled his eyes and did what Sebastian had said. His stomach felt tingly when Sebastian was looking at him like this. So demanding, yet with a weak and begging aftertaste.

That was the moment when Kurt started to tremble. It was like his whole body was responding to Sebastian's touch and his words.

And at this moment, he was lost.

 

"Are you mine?", Sebastian asked Kurt again and strengthened the grip around his wrists.

"Are YOU mine?", Kurt asked instead of giving an answer and felt how Sebastian slid his hands to his upper arms and to his chest. He was clueless until he felt Sebastian gently putting both hands on the place where his heart was beating like crazy.

"I am", he replied and when he titled his head up, he looked like a sad puppy. Kurt hesitated, but brought his trembling hands to Sebastian's and laid them on his.

"Then I'm yours too."

Sebastian laughed with tears in his eyes and Kurt smiled back. He wished that this moment could last forever, but Sebastian had other plans.

 

Kurt gasped for air when he felt suddenly Sebastian's cock pressing in and pulling out of his pussy over and over again. He had wanted this for so long, but he had barely time to adjust his legs or arms, Sebastian just pounded him relentlessly and Kurt, to his own annoyance, couldn't stop making noises he didn't even know he was able to make.

 

Sebastian's hands were on Kurt's stomach, stroking his abs and Kurt's hands were fists around the blankets. Kurt had never felt so full, so good and sheltered. He turned his head away when it was too much, but Sebastian grunted lightly.

"Look at me."

Kurt didn't move so Sebastian fucked him even harder and Kurt winced beneath his body. Sebastian gripped his chin, turning his head and looked into Kurt's eyes, going slower. Kurt couldn't stand Sebastian's gaze. Feeling him was hard enough, because it was so good, way too good than Kurt wanted to acknowledge to himself. But looking in his eyes was like Sebastian had all of him. Not only his body, but his soul.

"You feel so good", Sebastian whispered and kissed Kurt's forehead, "So tight, so fucking good."

 

"Don't stop!", Kurt begged when Sebastian was suddenly completely still. But Sebastian abruptly pulled out, making Kurt sigh.

"What are you do-"

"Don't worry, babe, just changing positions a bit", he explained, gripped Kurt under his armpits and flipped him on his left side. Sebastian laid down behind Kurt, pulling him at his pussy against his hard cock.

He pulled in and fucked him like this, held Kurt's hips with one hand and his collar with his other and tugged lightly at it. Not hard enough to hurt, but strong enough to make Kurt aware that there was a collar and that he was his possession.

Kurt pressed back to feel more of Sebastian and reached his hands back, digging his nails into Sebastian's thighs.

 

This position was different, good and Kurt closed his eyes and enjoyed everything. Sebastian really was amazing and his cock was way bigger than Blaine's. But it was also the way he held him, that was so different than how Blaine used to have sex with him.

 

When Sebastian held him, Kurt felt treasured. He felt alive. Though he felt close to dying when he felt his orgasm coming closer.

"Bas-"

Sebastian rubbed at Kurt's clit and bit lightly on Kurt's neck, thrusting his cock harder and deeper into Kurt than before.

"BAS!", Kurt whined and instinctively pushed his crotch away when it felt like too much.

"Stay", Sebastian demanded, held him and pushed in again, making Kurt cry in both, pain and pleasure.

 

Kurt didn't know whether it was the way Sebastian was relentlessly fucking into him, or how he tugged at his collar, how he stroked his clit or the fact that he whispered gently into his ear: "Yours", that brought him over the edge. But when he came, Sebastian continued with fucking him and rubbing at his clit, so Kurt started to tremble and whimpered.

"Bas, Bas, I'm-"

Sebastian came too and jerked his hips up one final time, causing the tears that were in Kurt's eyes for so long to roll down his temples.

 

He didn't even think to pull out, he left his cock in Kurt as long as he could, until both felt too sensitive.

 

It was dark and Kurt was looking out of the window, but he knew that Sebastian was looking at him. He could literally feel his eyes staring at him and then he heard how he started to sing.

♪"The sun goes down"♪

"Don't", Kurt hissed, sounding more bitchy than he intended to.

♪"The stars come out"♪, he continued.

"Stop it!"

♪"And all that counts"♪

"No!"

♪"Is here and now"♪

"Woe betide you if you continue with-"

♪"My universe-"♪

"SHUT UP!"

♪"-will never be the same"♪

"SMYTHE!!!"

♪"I'm glad you came"♪

"I'm 100% done with you", Kurt mumbled and Sebastian could only laugh while he kissed his shoulder and pulled the blankets further up his body.

"Did it feel good, Hummel? I bet no one ever made you feel like this."

"I thought it would be better", Kurt teased with a grin and Sebastian snuggled up to him and hugged him tightly, while he smiled.

"Are you still mine?"

Kurt stroked Sebastian's hands and smiled into the darkness.

"Are YOU still mine?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm still yours."

 

*

 

Sebastian had almost a heart attack when the ringtone of his phone woke him up. He opened his eyes and leaned over the bed, reaching for his jeans on the floor and pulling them to him. By the time he had his phone in his hands, Kurt was awake too and stared drowsily at Sebastian's back that was exposed since the blankets had been slipping down to his hips.

"What?", Sebastian asked his sister.

"Oh God, I'm so happy for Kurt!"

"Happy for Kurt?", Sebastian asked and lied on his back, turning his head to Kurt who blushed lightly, when Sebastian's gaze met his.

"Is he there? Can I talk to him?"

Without saying anything, he gave his phone to Kurt who immediately turned the loudspeaker on.

"Kurt?"

"Yes", he replied and rubbed his eyes. "Samantha?"

"Congratulations!", she screamed so loudly into the phone that Kurt winced. He yawned and rubbed his eyes again, not knowing what was going on.

"Congratulations?"

"Don't tell me you don't know it yet! You both go to the TV, now! They passed the toy-law, you're free!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like when Bas keeps asking Kurt: Why, why and why. Similar to the Scandals scene in chapter 11 when Kurt asked Bas all the time  
> ("I feel like kissing you."  
> "Why?"  
> "I like to kiss you."  
> "Why?")
> 
> And I like the: Are you mine? -scenes :')
> 
> Thanks for reading and your reviews, too!  
> !re you happy that Kurt is free? What do you think will happen now? *grins*
> 
> xo  
> aida


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt is free, but at a high prize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda feel like posting the last chapters as soon as I can ...  
> Work will have 17 chapters.
> 
> Cute Kurt flashbacks and Bas flashbacks and communicational problems ... just everything as always.  
> Enjoy it :)

Sebastian had problems with opening the collar. But now, finally, after more than ten minutes and endless times of wiping the code of the title deed over the sensor it finally worked out and he could remove it.

He looked at the collar in his hands and felt how a piece of him broke. He was sad. And the thing that annoyed him the most was that he was sad. He wanted to be happy for Kurt. Kurt deserved his freedom. He deserved luck and happiness.

But Sebastian wanted to keep him.

Why couldn't he find his happiness here, with Sebastian?

 

"Feels weird without it", Kurt laughed and gripped his naked neck, "so light." Sebastian nodded and turned around, starting to walk away, but Kurt made him stop.

"What are you doing?"

"Throwing it away-"

"NO!", Kurt disagreed and took the collar out of Sebastian's hands, "I want to keep it."

"Why would you want to keep the collar?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders and strengthened the grip around what used to be the sign of his enslavement.

"To remember what happened."

 

*

 

"I can pay the flight by myself, every ex-slave gets 500 $", Kurt told Sebastian, but he shook his head eagerly.

"You'll need your money until you have access to your bank account again."

Kurt was sitting next to Sebastian, in his bed, his laptop on his thighs.

"I want to pay it by myse-"

"It's the last thing I can do for you. Please let me do that."

Kurt sighed and leaned his head on Sebastian's shoulder. He thought about tomorrow when he would go to the agency, get his money and take the flight back to New York.

And then he would leave Sebastian Smythe behind.

 

"Would you ... I don't know ... would you like if I called you at one point?", Kurt asked with a wobbly voice and Sebastian laid his head on Kurt's and moved his thumb slowly over his upper arm.

"I would love it."

Kurt cleared his throat and sat up, showing Sebastian his back.

"Amazing what can change within 24 hours, don't you think?", he asked Sebastian and felt how he stroked down his spine and shoved his hand under his jeans, gripping one butt cheek.

"I could make you feel like nothing changed at all", Sebastian whispered with a seductive voice and Kurt laughed nervously.

"I ... um ... don't feel so good today-"

Sebastian pulled his hand away and pressed his lips together.

"You don't need to lie to me. Just tell me if you're not interested anymore."

"I'm not interested ... now."

"Fine", Sebastian hissed and watched how Kurt stood up.

"I sleep on the couch tonight."

"Sure. Why don't you already prepare the complaint against me?"

_Really?_

Kurt gave Sebastian an angry look.

"I wouldn't do that."

"You should. I treated you wrong."

"Well, I will definitely report my asshole ex."

"Blaine and I would have so many fun things to talk about when we met in jail ..."

"Why are you so pissed now?"

_Because I can't stand thinking about that you will be gone. That you will be outside when you are famous and popular again and so many people will try to be your friend ... or more ..._

"Just because I don't want you to stick your dick into me today or what?", Kurt asked him and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Sebastian took a deep breath and licked his lips.

"No."

"Why then?"

"I just regret that I didn't do all the things to you I wanted to do when I had the chance to."

Kurt felt tears in his eyes, bent to Sebastian and slapped his face as hard as he could.

"Why do you do this? Why do you always act like an asshole and hurt others AND yourself? What is the point of that?"

 

_"I hate my dad", Sebastian hissed when he and Alexander were jogging in the park, "he knows that we're together and wants to forbid me to see you anymore."_

_"Just ignore him."_

_"HE ignores ME ... and his asshole son too. I prefer calling him 'his son' instead of 'my brother'. Sounds better, don't you think?"_

_"Sure", Alexander replied boredly._

_"Hey, you have enough space in your apartment-"_

_"No."_

_"No? You don't even know what I wanted to ask ..."_

_"I want to keep everything like it is."_

_Sebastian stopped abruptly and counted the seconds until Alexander would stop too, but he just continued with jogging._

 

*

 

_"You're doing that thing so good, little boy", Alexander whispered exhaustedly and stroked Sebastian's naked back._

_"I feel like fucking you again", Sebastian replied and nipped at his nipples._

_"I need to recover. I'm sore."_

_Sebastian looked at the ceiling and tangled his fingers with Alexander's._

_"Sometimes when I think about my mum-"_

_Alexander sighed and Sebastian looked at him with a worried gaze._

_"Could you, just for one night, shut up about your oh so bad family life and oh so horrible memories about your mum?"_

 

_Alexander's eyes seemed to be so cold, so strange and Sebastian took his hand away._

_"I was just talking about my feelings and I-"_

_"I think I'm recovered."_

_"I'm not in the mood anymore."_

_"C'mon, tiger! Do it again!", Alexander said and started to kiss him, but Sebastian stood up and slipped in his clothes._

_"I ... I'm sleeping at home tonight."_

 

*

 

_"Listen, cutie", Alexander started when they sat in a cafe, "when I asked you out, I had a completely wrong expectation of ... you."_

_Sebastian's heart stood still and he wanted to stop the time, knowing that what would happen now would change his life into a direction he never wanted._

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"I wanted an uncomplicated relationship with an uncomplicated boy. You're anything but uncomplicated."_

_"Many things happened. I didn't choose that-"_

_"Yeah, you're such a poor boy!", Alexander mumbled and shook his head. "You're cute, really. But you're always so depressed and it's not my fault that your family ignores you. It annoys me when you always talk about that shit! You're a little whiny boy and I'm not into that. I'm not your comment box. It's over."_

_"Over ..."_

_"I'm a senior. I have enough problems. I don't need yours as well."_

_"And if I wouldn't bother you with my problems?", Sebastian asked though he knew it was pathetic._

_"You always talk about what bothers you. You always talk about your feelings, you wouldn't be able to shut up."_

_"I love you", Sebastian meant, hoping that his first love would say it back, but he only stared on the table._

_"Don't you love me?"_

_"No", he replied coldly and raised his gaze to look at him, " I loved having sex with you, though."_

 

Sebastian laid a hand on his aching cheek and stared into the distance.

 

"You could just say that you want me to stay, you idiot! Just admit it!"

"Why would I want that?"

 _No,_ Sebastian thought, _what am I saying?_

"It was fun. But I don't want a boyfriend or anything. I just wanted something to play with", he said and hated himself that he wasn't able to tell Kurt the truth.

 

*

 

_Kurt was looking at himself in the mirror, staring in disgust at his strangulation marks. He couldn't look at his wounds for long, because he felt too ashamed that he was looking like this. How often does a man get raped? Was this even a rape?_

_Blaine was his boyfriend ... he loved him._

 

_And now, when Kurt was standing there, he questioned whether he had said 'no' at all. They had done some play with ropes before, maybe Blaine didn't recognize his tears or the way he was fighting ..._

 

_"Hey, sweetheart!", Blaine suddenly screamed through their apartment and Kurt winced. He started to tremble although he didn't want to._

_"What you're doing?", he asked, standing in the door frame and Kurt lowered his head immediately, gripping the sink in front of him._

_'Reply!', he told himself, but his throat was dry, not a word wanted to escape out of his mouth. He felt horrible and didn't want Blaine to look at him like that. He didn't want Blaine to be near him now, he needed some time to breathe, to think, to be himself. And most of all: He didn't want Blaine to touch him, but he wrapped his arms around him and pressed Kurt close against his body, not caring about that Kurt didn't respond to the touch in any way._

_"What's wrong today?"_

_Kurt had been happy when he woke up this morning and Blaine had been already away, but now was their first meeting since that thing had happened and Kurt didn't know how to act around Blaine. He was afraid of saying something wrong, of making him angry and being tied up again._

 

_"You don't want me to repeat my question", Blaine whispered in his ear and stroked down his chin to his collarbones, admiring the marks in the mirror._

_"I'm fine", Kurt lied with a high-pitched voice and felt tears in his eyes while he stared down at his hands._

_"Good. Did you wear a scarf today?"_

_"Yeah", he breathed and tried to bend away, but Blaine wouldn't let him._

_"All day?"_

_"Yeah ..."_

_"Well done", he praised and Kurt hated himself in that moment more than never before. He hated the way he allowed that person to praise him, to treat him like he was someone he owned._

 

_They had sex._

_Kurt didn't dare to say 'no' and he didn't know whether Blaine didn't see his tears or whether he just didn't care. Anyhow, Blaine didn't stop and while Blaine had his orgasm, Kurt realized that he had told Blaine 'no' yesterday. He made clear that he didn't want to. It hadn't been his fault._

_He didn't deserve that._

_No one deserved that._

 

_Kurt slipped out of bed when Blaine fell asleep and wrote him a letter._

 

_It's over._

_Don't try to find me._

 

_He never thought that he would leave Blaine like this. He never wanted to leave him like this, but he was afraid that Blaine wouldn't let him go when he tried to talk properly to him. So he just laid that letter on the pillow and looked at his dark curls one last time, holding a packed bag in his hands. He reached one hand out and digged his fingers into the thick hair, thinking about how everything changed._

_"I loved you", he whispered to the sleeping person, "so much ..."_

 

_"Dad? I'm sorry to wake you up ... it's just ... I-I need to talk to you-"_

_"What's wrong?", Burt asked Kurt who was sitting in a Taxi, his mobile in his trembling hands._

_"I take the next flight to Lima ..."_

_"Wait ... what? Did something happen?"_

_"Sort of ..."_

_"Are you okay?"_

_"I will be ..."_

_"Tell me what's wrong!"_

_"I ... I left Blaine. I just let a letter there. I'm afraid he wakes up and finds me. I'm afraid he will be at the airport before me and I-"_

_"Kurt, did he hurt you?"_

_"I know I should've talked to him. He deserves an explanation, I thought, but then I was thinking about that he would never let me go", Kurt sobbed and rubbed his eyes._

_"Listen, Kurt, it's in the middle of the night, he won't wake up soon. You will go into that plane, sleep a few hours and then I will pick you up. I will make hot chocolate and we will talk. I'm here for you."_

_Burt could only hear a crying and got into panic._

_"Kurt? Kurt, please stop crying!"_

_"It's not my fault, right dad?"_

_"I ... if you want to leave him ..."_

_"I was a good boyfriend. I always agreed ... unless that one time ... I just didn't want to, but it's not my fault, is it? It is ... Maybe I should go back ... We're engaged-"_

_"Kurt, get your ass to the airport! I don't know what he did to you, but you never do things without a reason and if you once decided to leave him, it's a decision you shouldn't throw over so easily."_

 

Kurt was looking at himself in the mirror, staring in disgust into his face. He couldn't look at it for long, because he felt too ashamed that he had had sex with Sebastian though it all seemed now like he never felt anything for him. He had been blind. He had hoped that Sebastian had changed for the better.

He wanted to believe that still, but he couldn't.

All he could think about was this sentence Sebastian had said: 'I wanted _something_ to play with'.

 

He touched his naked neck and thought about how connected he had felt to Sebastian while he now felt more apart than ever before.

 

*

 

Sebastian woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like something was missing and in fact, the place next to him in bed was free. But he soon remembered that Kurt was sleeping on the couch. Hesitantly, he walked downstairs, but Kurt wasn't on the couch.

Just a small piece of paper was there.

Bye.

 

Sebastian blinked his tears back and ran outside of his house and to the gate. The keys were lying on the path, Kurt must have locked the gate behind him and threw the keys inside.

 

 _Stay,_ Sebastian thought, _I want you to stay. I want you to stay! I want you to stay ..._

He started to cry and pressed his face against the cold bars.

_... Why didn't I say that?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> I already started a Puckurtbastian soulmate fic (idea by the wonderful annette91 ) which I will update when this work is completed.
> 
> I liked both flashbacks so much T_T


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex, a bit talking ... not enough talking ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there :)
> 
> Only one chapter left O_O 
> 
> Enjoy it!

Kurt didn't call.

Sebastian only knew that he was still alive because he was so often on TV, on so many shows. But always when they asked him about the guy who was his former owner, Kurt never replied and talked about other stuff instead.

And then, one Friday afternoon, three weeks after Kurt had left, the doorbell rang.

"It's me", the most beautiful voice in the world said and Sebastian opened the front door to see Kurt waving hesitantly at him behind the gate.

 

Sebastian was silent when he opened the gate. Kurt didn't say anything either, he just let Sebastian kiss him forcefully and pull him into his house just as eagerly. Kurt stared to the ground when he heard Sebastian closing the door behind him. He thought about to say something, but he couldn't. He didn't know what.

He couldn't help but wince when Sebastian gripped his waist from behind and pressed kisses on his neck. His skin felt hot where Sebastian touched him. It burned so extremely that he felt goose pimples all over his skin although it was just kissing, yet. But even that kind of touch made him feel so close to Sebastian, maybe because they had been apart for so long.

Sebastian gripped between Kurt's legs as firmly as it could and Kurt could only tense up and turn his head back, to receive more hot kisses on his lips.

Did Sebastian ever feel that good on his lips?

Kurt couldn't remember, he couldn't think.

All he could do was feeling.

 

Suddenly, Sebastian's hands were on Kurt's belt and then on his pussy, rubbing forcefully against his foldes while Kurt moaned into his mouth and stroked his head nervously while he felt how Sebastian pressed his boner against him.

It all happened fast when Sebastian shoved Kurt's pants and panties down to his knees and pushed him forward to the stairs while he unzipped his own jeans. Kurt almost fell on the staircase, but gripped one step and wanted to stand up again, but Sebastian held his hips and suddenly pressed his cock into him.

Kurt slipped his eyes shut and tried to sink comfortably on his knees while he supported himself with both hands and let Sebastian fuck him uncontrollably.

 

Sebastian stood some steps under Kurt and was surprised that this angle was so perfect, so good. He gripped Kurt's hair and tugged at it while he digged the fingers of his other hands sharply into Kurt's hipbones.

Kurt felt the pain on his head and hips and started to cry. He wasn't sure whether he cried because of the pain, or the embarrassment that he actually liked it. And although he was sobbing he wanted more. He wished Sebastian would tug at his hair much harder. He needed to feel him. He had missed him so much and now, since he was finally back, he needed more of him. Anything that Sebastian could give him.

Kurt didn't know whether he was trembling, or Sebastian, maybe both. He only knew that it felt damn good and he laid his upper arms on one step and his forehead on them, while he pushed his crotch further up, giving Sebastian the chance to fuck deeper into him.

 

It was so silent in the hallway. All Kurt could hear was his moaning and Sebastian's panting. He suddenly realized that Sebastian didn't even want him to beg for it, what made Kurt feel weird.

Sebastian stood still for a moment, pulled out and stood one step closer to Kurt, to thrust his cock back in. This time felt even better and Kurt bit his hand while he felt that he was damn close to his orgasm.

Sebastian started to smack Kurt's ass every time he would be as deep in him as possible. Kurt tried to calm down, but his body was sending confusing signals to his head. Pleasure in his vagina, pain on his butt but more than anything: the knowledge that Sebastian was the one who made him feel like that.

_Sebastian ..._

 

Kurt gasped for air when Sebastian kept fucking and slapping him, but also started to rub at his clit.

"B-Bas, Bas", he whined and gripped the steps harder while he was now completely aware that his whole body was trembling.

"Harder ..."

Sebastian fucked harder into Kurt and watched how his cock disappeared into Kurt over and over again, while his ass was completely sore by now. Anyway, he slapped it some times more and loved the way Kurt whined.

"Bas, B-Bas, I-I-"

Sebastian rubbed harder at his clit when Kurt collapsed during his orgasm. He was uncomfortably lying on the stairs and tried to get up, but Sebastian wouldn't let him. He thrusted his cock eagerly in again and again and laid himself on Kurt, gripping his hair again and pulled so his head a bit closer, to nip at Kurt's ear.

"B-B-Bas ... I'm so done, I'm so-"

Sebastian came too and Kurt felt how he wrapped his strong arms around him and pressed light kisses on his shoulder, forming a strong contrast to the roughness of the past minutes.

"Fuck," Sebastian hissed and then suddenly pulled out, "Kurt I – We forgot condoms."

 

Kurt jumped abruptly up and ran upstairs to the bathroom, leaving Sebastian on the staircase.

 

His hair was wet when he walked into the living room and sat on an armchair while Sebastian was sitting on the couch. Kurt was playing with his fingers for a while and looked at them while Sebastian scratched his neck.

"Sorry, I – I was overwhelmed by you and completely forgot about protection", Sebastian said and Kurt nodded.

"Yeah I showered ... I hope that helped."

It became silent again and Sebastian licked his lips nervously.

"While I'm in such a good mood to apologize", Sebastian started and Kurt puckered his brows, "It was a lie that I just wanted to play with you. I never – I never wanted to play with you."

Kurt blinked back his tears and nodded.

"It's okay ... I just wanted fun, as well", Kurt lied and felt horrible while doing so. Sebastian stood up and walked to Kurt, gripping his shoulders firmly.

"Don't you dare to say that!"

Finally, Kurt looked into Sebastian's eyes and felt tears running down his cheeks.

"Don't say that when I try to tell you how I feel, okay?"

"I just-"

"Don't", Sebastian interrupted him and pressed kisses on his lips. "Just shut up, you only tell lies anyway."

"You are the one who always -" Sebastian laid a hand on Kurt's mouth and Kurt gave him a warning gaze.

"Shhh", Sebastian breathed and took his hand away again. Kurt panted with rage and averted his gaze. "You didn't come back to fight, did you?"

"I didn't come back to have wild sex til we're sore either", he retorted as Sebastian stroked his cheek.

"And again: A lie."

 

He gripped Kurt under his armpits and pulled him up.

"I'm sure you wouldn't say no if we did it with condoms from now on, am I right?"

Kurt lowered his gaze and gripped Sebastian's hands. He hated that it was always so hard to talk properly to him.

"I would definitely want more of that ..."

 

*

 

"What's wrong?", Sebastian asked when Kurt sat up in the bed and started to pull his shirt back on. "Afraid of more, Hummel?"

Kurt sighed and shook his head.

"I need to get my flight."

Sebastian puckered his brows and sat also up, not believing what he just heard.

"You just came back ..."

"For a visit."

"You pay for a flight from New York to LA just for a few hours? Do you have too much money or what?"

"I have indeed access to my bank account again, just in case that you care about that", Kurt hissed, stood up and continued with dressing himself.

"Of course I care about what's going on in your life now ..."  


"You do?"  


"Sure."  


"Rather seems like you're only interested in what is going on in my vagina."

Sebastian gripped Kurt's shoulders harshly and pulled him back into his bed, pinning down his wrists and staring upside-down into his face.

"And what was going on in your vagina?"

Kurt's eyes widened and he tensed up.

"Did you have sex with someone else?"

"It's none of your business, is it?", Kurt spat but blushed.

"It is."

"Since when?"

Sebastian scanned Kurt's eyes and released his wrists slowly and with a sigh, but Kurt didn't move.

"Since you said that you're mine."

 

Kurt sat up and showed Sebastian his back, fighting against his tears. Sebastian knew that they were at a point where Kurt would go again if he wasn't able to convince him to stay.

But he didn't know how to achieve that.

"I miss you", Sebastian whispered with a wobbly voice and reached out a hand to stroke Kurt's back, but he didn't dare to touch him, not knowing how he was reacting to what he was saying.

"I-I miss waking up next to you, I miss hearing you sing when I come from work, I even miss watching you eat."

Kurt turned his head half back to Sebastian, as if he was insecure about whether he should turn around or just leave.

"I-I miss arguing about which movie we'll watch and I miss-"

"I need to go now", Kurt interrupted him and slipped into his shoes.

"Wait, you didn't sleep with someone else, did you?"

"That's really the most important thing for you, isn't it?", Kurt asked and turned around, showing Sebastian his tear-stained face.

"Is that a 'no' or a 'yes'?"

"I didn't", Kurt answered with a blushed face, though he had no clue why he was still standing there and talking with him.

"Me neither", Sebastian mumbled, though Kurt never asked the question, but he knew he was wondering.

He hoped so.

 

Kurt lowered his head and shook it again, wiping his eyes and nose.

"I really need to go now."

He turned around and gripped his bag, but Sebastian jumped up and ran after him, reaching him before he was at the staircase.  


"Will you come back?"

He shrugged his shoulders and Sebastian turned him around. Kurt forced himself to look in his eyes and not at his naked body. He opened his mouth, to say something, but he just sighed one more time and bit his lips.

"Please, come back", Sebastian whispered, pulled Kurt at his shoulders close to him and kissed him one final time before he let Kurt go, who walked away without saying anything.

 

*

 

He let Sebastian wait six days until he showed up again. They were silent during sex, but they actually talked later in bed. Kurt told Sebastian something about a Musical project he was working on and that this could become a big thing. He didn't want to tell him too much, because he was afraid that it probably wouldn't work out ...

 

"Have you reported Blaine already?", Sebastian asked and stroked up and down Kurt's naked upper arm.

"I did. He will have to pay for everything ... literally."

Sebastian pressed a kiss on Kurt's forehead and was afraid of asking when he would go again, so he just pressed him gently against his body and tried to pretend that everything was fine. That they were a couple and Kurt would never leave again.

"Do you remember the young boy we met in the mall once, the boy who was naked and insults were written all over his body?"

Sebastian nodded slowly.

"I met him again, he lives in New York as well. We often have a coffee together. The mean guy was one of those who didn't want to give the freedom to the victims, he kept him at his home til the guard came and freed him."

"Asshole ..."

"The day he heard the news that his slave was free, he took him and gave him a tattoo ... You may guess where and what it says."

Sebastian rolled his eyes in thoughts.

"Forehead?"

"Forehead."

"Cocksucker?"

"Toy."

"Ouch."

"Yes."

"Now it says Joy ... at least."

Sebastian sighed.

"Yeah ... at least."

"It's strange ... I still don't feel safe when I'm out there. And sometimes people recognize me and want an autograph, but I'm scared as soon as they start to walk to me ..."

"Everything will be normal again ... some day."

"Nothing will be like it used to be ever again. The world will never forget about this ... we shouldn't."

Sebastian nodded and closed his eyes, just feeling Kurt and smelling his scent.

"I see every interview you give on TV ..."

"And?"

"And I think it's funny that every interviewer asks what happened with me and you always avoid answering these questions."

"What shall I tell them?"

"I don't know-"

"I feel uncomfortable talking about ... that."

"Are you referring to us with 'that'? Really?"

Kurt turned his back to Sebastian and closed his eyes.

"I sleep a bit.

"How long will you stay this time?"

"We will see."

Sebastian stared at Kurt's pale skin and pulled the blankets up his back.

 

He stayed over night, but was gone when Sebastian woke up.

 

*

 

They played that kind of game for five weeks, Kurt showing up without Sebastian knowing about it and vanishing just as fast.

 

But Kurt was different this night. And Sebastian didn't realize it. He was just so happy to see and feel him again that he missed how Kurt avoided to look in his eyes.

He didn't notice that Kurt silently said goodbye.

 

"I'm going, Bas", Kurt said the next morning, sitting at their breakfast table.

"Okay, have a nice flight", he breathed and bent over the table to give Kurt a sweet kiss. "And don't let me wait eight days again!"

"Yeah ... about that", Kurt started and rubbed his eyes. "I might not come back ... so soon. Or ... or-"

"Or at all?"

Kurt took a deep breath and stood up.

"It's fucking stressful to always fly to you!"

Sebastian crossed his arms in front of his chest and raised one brow.

"I told you that I could visit you, too. But since you don't want to give me your address ..."

"I – I need time ... When I'm in New York I'm the popular Broadway star and here I'm – I don't know who I am. I don't know what I do. I'm shuttle there and back and lose myself on the journey. I need time, more time ..."

Sebastian felt tears in his eyes, knowing that he had to let Kurt go. But he couldn't. How do you let someone go you had wanted for ages? How do you let a person go you want to spend every minute of every day with?

 

"Do whatever feels right", he said and fought against the urge to jump up and press Kurt against a wall, forcing him to stay.

"I call you now and then. I bought a new mobile ..."

"Wow", Sebastian sighed and Kurt clenched a fist.

"What do you want, Sebastian? What happened to: 'I don't want to push you'?"

"It was a different situation. I was your owner-"

"You were never my owner!", Kurt hissed. Tears were in his eyes – he couldn't believe that Sebastian said that.

After all their romantic nights together.

Sebastian averted his gaze.

"How can you say that? You know how much that hurts me", Kurt whispered, close to tears.

"I was your owner on paper and I still ... I still want to own you."

"I'm not a thing someone can own!"

Kurt gripped his packed bag and walked out of the kitchen, Sebastian running after him.

"And there he walks, afraid of facing his problems!"

"You're not a problem for me, Smythe!", Kurt said as he stood still and turned around. "You're just a guy I have sex with."

Kurt could see the confusion and distress in Sebastian's eyes and though his own heart kept breaking, he continued with talking.

"A guy of many", he lied because he knew that Sebastian would feel horrible, thinking that Kurt had other lovers.

"You think you're the only guy I bang?", Sebastian retorted and Kurt's heart skipped a beat while he was wondering why they hurt each other so much.

"Fine, so why don't you continue with banging them while I leave?!"

 

Kurt hadn't even turned around when Sebastian hugged him so firmly that Kurt couldn't even get enough air.

"Don't go", he whispered and Kurt bit his lips, "I lied to you. There is only you."

Kurt looked at the ceiling and knew he had to go now, or he would stay for longer than he had intended.

"And I still want to have you, to own you."

"T-that's not how it works, Bas", Kurt mumbled and shoved his hands between Sebastian's and his own body.

"You don't have sex with others either, right?"

"No", Kurt whispered and it was hardly audible, but Sebastian heard it, smiled and pulled Kurt closer against himself.

"Why do I feel like we had this conversation already?", Kurt asked and turned his head back, feeling how Sebastian leaned his forehead against his temples.

"Because we go round in circles."

"A change is needed ..."

"Yeah", Sebastian agreed and let Kurt push his hands away.

"I have to go."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and all your reviews *hugs you all*  
> <3
> 
> I think it's funny when Kurtbastian tries to be romantic. Kinda lIke: 'did you sleep with someone else?'
> 
> No flashback in this chapter, but there will be two in the last final chapter. One about Bas and one about Kurt. Kurt's flashback will be not sooo much in the past, (future actually from this point of time) but well ...
> 
> Oh and I told you that I will upload a Puckurtbastian story when I'm done with this? it will kinda be Puck and Seb kidnapping Kurt (but nothing non-con, except of that) So it will be a violent, but not sexual abusing story, I guess.
> 
> xo  
> aida


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE LAST CHAPTER *-*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the nice time :) (I will upload the first chapter of my Puckurtbastian story soon!) 
> 
> I wish you all a beautiful advent :*  
> and enjoy the last chapter of 2020

Sebastian woke up in the middle of the night like he did every night, since three weeks, since Kurt was gone.

He didn't call, though he had said he would.

 

Sebastian's gaze lingered on the empty side of his bed and yet again his bed seemed to be enormous big. Way too big.

He stood up and went downstairs, lying down on the couch and looking out of the window, but he remembered the time he had gripped Kurt at his collar, pressed him against the wall next to the window and fingered him. Though Kurt didn't want to.

 

He sighed when he felt the first tears.

"Stay", he whispered and hit his forehead a few times until the burning was so intense that all his thoughts revolved around that pain.

For a few seconds.

Then he heard Kurt's cries in his imagination again. He saw his tear-stained face and realized that he would never come back to him.

Because he deserved better.

 

*

 

He thought that it was Samantha when the door bell rang, hoped that it would be Kurt, but it was actually Burt Hummel.

"It's Burt", he simply said into the intercom, causing Sebastian to freeze.

 

"Soooo", he mumbled when he pointed to a chair on the kitchen table, "to what do I owe the honor of your visit?"

Burt sighed and rubbed his forehead. He looked extremely tired and Sebastian swallowed.

"Did something happen to Kurt?" His heart was beating fast while he played with his fingers. "Is he hurt? Did Blaine-"

"He is alright!", Burt answered and Sebastian sighed in relief. He percolated two coffees, brought them to the table and sat down as well, leaning his chin into his palm.

"But why are you here? Missed me?"

Burt raised his brows and leaned back, looking pensive.

"I want to get to know you."

"What?", Sebastian laughed. "That's news ..."

Burt took a deep breath and lowered his head.

"How are you these days?"

"Do you want money?"

"I try to have a proper conversation with you", Burt grumbled and was visibly annoyed.

"And why is that?"

"Did Kurt visit you since he told you about his Musical project?"

Sebastian shook his head and was wondering how much Burt knew about whatever it was what Kurt and he were doing.

 

"He will probably visit you soon."

"What did he say about me?"

Sebastian couldn't help. His eyes were watery, his voice shaky, he didn't bother to cover up. Burt was the only link between him and Kurt, now since Kurt didn't visit or call. He needed to know everything about Kurt.

"I'm not going to tell you what my son and I were talking about ..."

"Just whether ... whether he thinks about me", Sebastian begged nervously.

"Are you serious about him?"

Sebastian couldn't hold Burt's gaze, it hurt too much.

"He ... he was my slave ..."

"You sometimes really seem like you don't even want people to like you", Burt hissed and Sebastian smiled slightly.

"That's true. I never wanted 'people' to like me. I just wanted that one person to like me. It's been always only this person."

"So you're serious?" Burt asked hopefully and Sebastian rubbed his eyes, knowing that it was no use in pretending that his feelings wouldn't exist.

"Yes", he replied in a whisper and closed his eyes, trying to continue with breathing.

"You love him?"

_Why should I give him an answer?_

"I-"

"Yes or no?"

Sebastian opened his eyes again and swallowed before he felt his face heat up.

"Yes", he heard his voice saying, though he stopped feeling. He was completely numb when Burt stood up and gripped his hand to shake it.

"See you soon, Sebastian. Thanks for the coffee ... that I didn't even touch ..."

Sebastian stared at their hands and remembered the time he and Kurt had been back in Lima and Burt had refused to take his hand.

"Could you tell Kurt something?"

"What?"

"Just that I ... that I'm patient."

"You are?"

Sebastian laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"I try to be."

 

*

 

One week later.

 

Kurt had expected Sebastian to be mad at him and blame him, but he did neither when he stood again in front of that gate and Sebastian walked to him. In fact, he just smiled, opened the gate and hugged him tightly, gently and all Kurt could do was trying to hold his tears back while he clenched around Sebastian's shirt and for the first time in weeks, months or even years he felt at home.

 

"Missed you so much", Sebastian whispered while he stroked Kurt's cheekbone with such a tenderness that Kurt had the feeling to die.

 

The sex they had was the weirdest sex ever for Kurt. Sebastian was again very silent, calm, but unaccustomedly gentle. He kept pressing his body so close against Kurt's that no sheet of paper would've fit between them while he took his time to look intensively at Kurt, admiring every pore of his skin.

 

Kurt digged his nails into Sebastian's back and finally let his tears run out of his eyes. God, he had missed this person so much.

This person ... who used to be his enemy in High School, later the devil and now?

What was he now?

 

Sebastian kept licking the sweat off Kurt's neck while he held him firmly. Kurt was too exhausted to fight that kind of affection, though he mostly found it disgusting when Sebastian did that. Kurt felt Sebastian wrapping his legs around his body and leaning his head on his shoulder. He smiled when he pressed lazily against Sebastian and sighed happily.

"Stay", Sebastian whispered finally. "Please stay for the night and the next day. And the next week."

 _And forever,_ he thought, but remained silent.

"I stay for a day or two."

"Really?"  


"Yeah."

"I don't like waking up to see that you're gone."  
Kurt pulled the blankets over them.

"Seriously, I'm afraid of falling asleep ..."

"I will still be there when you wake up."

 

*

 

Sebastian woke up with a smile that vanished immediately when he saw his empty bed.

 

He jumped up and ran downstairs to see how Kurt was laying the table in the kitchen. He laughed at Sebastian's expression and shrugged his shoulders.

"I told you I'd still be here."

Sebastian gripped Kurt in his neck, kissed him wildly and hugged him then for what felt like an eternity for Kurt, who pushed him away.  


"Calm down, Bas-"

"I missed you so much", he said and stroked Kurt's soft hands. Kurt smiled but averted his gaze.

"I know. You already said that ... a thousand times."

"And it still can't express half how much I really missed you."

Kurt puckered his brows and closed his eyes then, feeling more torn than ever.

"I need to tell you something."

"You will take the next flight and never come back?", Sebastian asked with a wobbly voice and Kurt opened his mouth, but he was speechless.

"I-I ... just let us sit down, okay?"

Sebastian nodded and sat with Kurt down at the kitchen table, still holding both of his hands.

 

Kurt was thinking about how to say what Sebastian needed to know, but there was no way to do it right, so he just collected all his bravery, cleared his throat and looked directly into Sebastian's eyes.

"I'm pregnant", he said and Sebastian blinked.

"By whom?"

"Damn you, Smythe you fucking asshole!", Kurt hissed as he pulled his hands aggressively away. He jumped up and walked through the hallway, feeling Sebastian's hand on his upper arm.

"By me? But we ... we always used protection", Sebastian mumbled and Kurt sighed.

"Not always."

Sebastian turned Kurt towards him and scanned his sad and blushed face.

"The staircase?"  


"I guess."

"And you ... you want to keep it?"

Kurt's eyes were frantic when he looked to him. He pressed his lips together and swallowed.

"You don't want to?"

"I- uhm, you were right, let's sit down."

Sebastian guided Kurt at his hand into the living room. He was relieved that he was walking ahead so that Kurt couldn't look in his face, because he loved to hide his confusion that wouldn't help Kurt now.

 

They sat on the couch, Sebastian holding Kurt's hands tightly but gingerly.

"If you want to not keep it, I won't judge you. If you want to keep it, I will help you ... o-only if you want me to, of course. No matter how you decide, I will support you. But I won't tell you what to do, because it's not my body. It's yours."

Kurt nodded in relief.

"I want to keep it", he admitted and started to cry. "Though it will be damn humiliating with that fat baby bump."

Sebastian pulled Kurt soothingly into his arms and stroked his back, not knowing how to handle the situation.

The man he loved was expecting a child. His child. That was kinda a dream that came true, if only Kurt wanted him to take part in his life ...

"You don't have to leave your apartment when the bump is visible."

Kurt snuggled up to Sebastian and gripped his shirt tightly.

 

He was calm after a few minutes and Sebastian didn't say much. He just hugged him.

"Did you tell your dad already?"

"Yeah", Kurt replied and ended the embrace. "You're mad because of that?"

"No", Sebastian mumbled. "He was just strange when he visited me last week and I kinda wondered why. I mean, he never wanted to talk to me and now since you're – wait!"

Sebastian turned slightly away and clenched two fists, staring into the distance.

"You've been away for four weeks. You didn't want to come back. You didn't want to see me ever again. You only came back because of ... the baby."

 

_"Fuck yeah", Thad moaned when Sebastian was fucking him eagerly._

 

_Sebastian was for a few weeks in Dalton now and totally into Thad. So of course he had said yes when Thad had invited him into his dorm room and had pulled his pants down._

_'No kissing', Thad had insisted and though Sebastian didn't know why he didn't want to kiss him, it was okay for him because he felt so attracted to that boy._

 

_Thad was bending over a desk while Sebastian pressed his nose into his hair and was very close._

_"Seb?", Thad asked._

_"Huh?", Sebastian mumbled breathlessly._

_"I have a boyfriend."_

_Sebastian stopped moving and started to tremble._

_"S-sorry, I-I had no clue – I was thinking-" He started to pull out, but Thad gripped back and held his hips while he pushed his ass back._

_"Don't stop now, man! Just wanted to make sure that you keep your mouth shut when he visits sometime."_

_Sebastian didn't know what to think. He had been hoping for more than just a simple hookup. For more than just a one time thing._

_"Thad, I-"_  


_"C'mon. Fuck me now!"_

_Sebastian felt tears in his eyes when he thrusted his cock back in a few times and used his hand to finish Thad off. He pulled out then, without coming himself and never talked with Thad about that again._

 

"T-that's not true!", Kurt said. "Not entirely."

"Not entirely", Sebastian laughed and shook his head.

 _You're an idiot!,_ Sebastian told himself. _An idiot to think that he could ever like you ..._

"I mean it's true that I needed some distance, but I would've came back to you sooner or later. Rather later ... due to that new circumstance it's sooner now. But I would've always came back."

Kurt reached his hand hesitantly out and put it on one of his thighs.

"I would love to believe you", Sebastian breathed sadly.

"Why would I lie?"

"Because you want a father for your child."

Kurt pulled his hands away and couldn't decide what broke his heart more, that Sebastian still didn't get that he loved him or the 'your child'.

 

"MY child? Okay. Fine. I will go now and prepare everything to raise MY child alone-" He wanted to sit up, but Sebastian gripped his hips and pulled him on his lap.

"We always argue as soon as we talk for longer than five minutes", Sebastian murmured and smiled weakly as Kurt pouted.

"Just because you always tend to be a dick when one tries to properly tal-"

Sebastian pressed a kiss on Kurt's lips while stroking his stomach.

"OUR child, when you like this term better."

Kurt lowered his gaze slowly and wrapped one arm around Sebastian's neck, pressing his body close to him.

"I hate when you say shitty things and I get mad and we are both mad and-" He sighed, rubbed his eyes with his free hand and Sebastian kept his hand there on Kurt's stomach, where new life was growing.

"We're both so hot, our baby will be the most beautiful person on the whole planet", Sebastian suddenly said and Kurt laughed.

"Yeah."

Sebastian smiled at the man on his lap and leaned his head against his shoulder.

"I told you about the Musical I plan to star in, right?"

"You did, but you didn't tell me what it is about."

Kurt looked in Sebastian's eyes and played with the hair in his neck.

"It's about me."

Sebastian's eyes widened and his smile grew.  


"About you?"  


"About my life, but especially about the time when the government told me that I'm not a human anymore. It will be a sociocritical play."

Sebastian hugged Kurt even tighter.

"That's amazing, Kurt!"

"I know, right?"

Sebastian gripped Kurt's chin, pulled it to his face and kissed him again.

"I'm so happy for you."

"Would you like to be in it as well?"

Sebastian puckered his brows and laughed.

"Me? Which role could I play?"

"The role of Sebastian Smythe. Only one can act as insidious and bossy as you do."

"Bossy?", Sebastian asked, pushed Kurt on the couch and knelt on his lap. "I am bossy?"

Kurt scanned his face and smiled lightly.

"You would love to be in the Musical, am I right?"

"I told you how much I tried to have success on Broadway. But I – I don't know whether I would like to play myself."  
Kurt laughed in surprise and gripped Sebastian's shirt.

"What?"

"I mean ... The Musical-Sebastian might be different than me and I-"

"I help writing the play. I tell them how Sebastian is."

Sebastian stood up and turned his back to Kurt, walking to the window.

"And how is Sebastian?"

Kurt stroked his stomach and shook his head lightly, while smiling in thoughts.

"Sebastian is withdrawn ... and good."

Sebastian gripped the windowsill and puckered his brows.

"He went through some stuff in his life and got hurt, though I'm not quite sure whether we should tell the audience exactly what happened to him or not since I'm a bit clueless by myself."

"Sebastian is not good. He is rough and mean. Kurt should've stayed away. And he would have, if he wasn't pregnant."

Kurt stood up and took a deep breath when he walked to Sebastian and laid his hands on his shoulders.

"Kurt wanted to stay away. But he would dream about Sebastian every night. He would imagine to smell his scent, he would never be able to forget him, that's why he came back."

"Why couldn't he forget him?"

Kurt tensed up and leaned his forehead against Sebastian's shoulder blades.

"Because even if the Musical will be a Drama and a Comedy, it will mostly be a love story."

 

_Sebastian was sitting with a cute guy in the Lima Bean. His name was Blaine. He was since a few months now at Dalton and had had sex with every gay guy there. He got used to have sex without feelings. He got used to the knowledge that all just wanted sex. They all wanted his body and didn't care about what was underneath his skin. No one cared about the person. No one cared about Sebastian Smythe._

 

_And Sebastian tried to accept that so he tried to flirt back and now there was this guy._

_"Look ... Sebastian ... I have a boyfriend", Blaine said and Sebastian remembered the time he had sex with Thad. He knew this scene. This was the time when the hot guy wanted him to be quiet about whatever would happen._

_"Doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you", Sebastian lied while trying to be cool._

_"N-no. I mean I really care about him."_

_Sebastian grinned and raised his brows._

_'Yeah, that's why you said yes when I invited you with my fuck-gaze', he thought._

_"He doesn't need to know."_

_"I just never ... want to mess my thing up with him in any way. He's really great."_

_"Who's really great?", a strange guy suddenly asked and Sebastian froze. That was his boyfriend? That was the boy who was 'great'?_

 

_Sebastian couldn't avert his gaze from this beautiful face, with these beautiful, blue eyes. And while he tried to maintain his facade he could only think about that this precious boy was so much more than simply 'great'._

 

Sebastian turned around and showed Kurt his watery eyes. Kurt blushed immediately and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"A love story? You love me?", Sebastian asked and couldn't believe that this was happening.

"O-only if you love me as well", Kurt stuttered, "if you don't love me, forget what I said within the past ten min-"

Sebastian gripped Kurt's shoulders and made Kurt shut up with pressing big claiming kisses on his mouth.

"You love me?", he asked again and Kurt saw the tears running down Sebastian's cheeks.

"D-do you love me?", Kurt asked instead of giving an answer and Sebastian laughed while he stroked Kurt's blushed cheeks.

"Of course I do, you idiot."

"I'm not an idiot, you dickhead!", Kurt hissed and received more kisses. He held his breath when Sebastian hugged him after the kiss and closed his eyes.

 

Kurt had finally told Sebastian the truth about the baby. He had told him about the Musical. And he got to know that he loved him. He had always secretly hoped that, but never, not in his wildest dreams, he had imagined to be so overwhelmed when Sebastian would actually say it.

 

"I love you too", Kurt whispered although he never wanted to love a person again. He never wanted to fall in love once more, to be the worst kind of vulnerable. But there he was, hugging this person he had hated and feeling so happy that he was crying.

Sebastian didn't bother to hold his tears back either. There was no use anyway. He cried his pain away. He cried like he never had before. He cried because this precious person seemed to be in a progress of forgiving him.

This person wanted to work with him in the future.

And this person was pregnant.

This person, this special person made him happy like never before by finally loving him back.

 

Sebastian collapsed on the ground and Kurt knelt down too, wiping away his tears.

"Come on, Bas. That's a bit too dramatic, even for you-"

"I'm so sorry for everything I did to you", Sebastian said and Kurt nodded.

"I-I know."

"You don't."

Sebastian held Kurt's head in both of his hands and smiled with tears in his eyes.

"I loved you when I met you for the first time and I love you still. I was mad at you that I loved you. And I was mad at you that you loved this asshole and not me. And then I could finally have you. And I had you."

Kurt lowered his head and swallowed.

"I wanted you to stay. I wanted you so much to stay and I had the power to force you to stay. So I did."

Sebastian laid both hands on Kurt's stomach and stared at it.

"I-I knew ... I thought you would never love me back, that's why I wanted to enjoy every minute of the limited time when you were mine. But I couldn't hurt you for long, because every time I did something horrible to you, I hated myself more."

He shook his head and laughed.

"I was a pretty romantic person once, you know. I talked about my feelings, about my fears and dreams, but my first love broke up with me because I was like that. And then I thought that it's better if you don't talk about your emotions if every person leaves sooner or later nonetheless. So if they leave, you're not exposed."

"I-I want you to tell me your feelings", Kurt breathed with a smile and held Sebastian's hands gently.

"I just want you to stay. That's all I want ... all I need."

Kurt bent his head forward and leaned his forehead against Sebastian's, closing his eyes.

"What instead of me staying here, you come to New York?"

Sebastian felt goose pimples all over his body. Was Kurt really inviting him to be a fancy little family?

"I have my job here ... what would I do in New York?"

"You want to tell me if the guy you love offers you a career on Broadway, you say no? The guy you love is pregnant ... by you, actually and will probably have a painful birth, isn't at least the need to cheer him up and coddle him enough to come to New York?"

Sebastian laughed.

"You don't want me to coddle you."

"Maybe I do."

"You always only want me to fuck all your senses out of you."

Kurt laughed and lowered his gaze.

"It's not the only thing I want you to do."

 

Sebastian smiled and looked at Kurt with so much love that Kurt started to blush again.

"The Musical will start in one year, or in two. We only have shows at the evenings, so we could raise our child together and have a nanny for the few hours when we're not there. And til the show pays off, what it definitely will, I have enough money. Blaine will have to pay some money ... not only because what he did lately, but because what he did to me years ago."

Sebastian nodded his head.

"I had no clue what he did to you until you hinted at it during that one interview."

Kurt stared into the distance.

"That's no big deal-"

"No big deal? He ... he raped you, Kurt."

Kurt pulled his hands away and smiled sadly.

"And I did kinda the same. I – I don't deserve your love."

 

_"Sebastian hurt you", Burt said and Kurt nodded._

_"I hurt him too."_

_"How?"_

_"I said mean things ... I left him", Kurt whispered._

_"Because he is an asshole."_

_Kurt lowered his head._

_"Dad, I'm pregnant."_

_Burt gasped for air and rubbed his temples._

_"Aren't you old enough to know how to use a contraceptive?", he sighed and Kurt crossed his arms in front of his chest._

_"Well, now it's too late anyway."_

_"Does he know already?"_

_"No ... I wanted you to be the first person who knows." Kurt averted his gaze._

_"Aren't you a bit happy that you will be a granddad soon?"_

_Burt felt immediately sorry for his son and laid one hand on his shoulder._

_"Of course I am. It's just that I don't know what to think about Sebastian."_

_"Me neither", Kurt confessed and laughed. "But thinking about him and me raising a child together ... that makes me ... kinda ... happy."_

 

_Burt sighed._

_"And when you think about the time when he was your owner? Does this make you happy as well?"_

_"I can't stop thinking about him", Kurt mumbled and rubbed his eyes. "I can't stop imagining what_

_he does right now. I need to know how he is, with whom he talks, I need to see how he scratches his neck ... but on the other hand I'm too afraid to call him or visit him, because I know that as soon as I hear his voice, or see him, I would be lost again."_

_Burt nodded his head and stroked Kurt's arm._

_"But the craziest thing is that, the longer we're apart, the less I care about that lost feeling. The more I long for it, to be honest. Because being lost in his arms feels like being found at the same time."_

_"Kurt I don't know whether I could ever-"_

_"Please stop hating him. I know he did horrible things, but please don't hate him. I love you both so much, I don't want you to hate him."_

 

"Don't you think I know what you did to me? Don't you think that I tried to hate you because of that? But I can't", Kurt sobbed. "Not anymore ... You have no clue of how afraid I am."

He sniveled and Sebastian pulled him in his arms.

"I'm so afraid that you change again. That you become like you've been the first days. And I'm so afraid that when I'd realize that you're like that, I'm too attracted to leave. And the whole Blaine-tragedy will start over again."

Sebastian ended the hug and stroked Kurt's neck.

"I can only promise to never ever ... hurt you again. I can only say that I love you and that I'm sorry. I would be very happy to live with you and this beautiful child inside of you. But I-" Sebastian swallowed and took a deep breath. "I understand when you don't want that. I understand when you can't trust me. I won't hold it against you and if you need more time, I'll wait of you. Do you get that?"

Kurt nodded slightly.

"I will wait of you til the end of time, if I knew that you would choose me in the end."

Kurt stroked Sebastian's cheek and realized that this person who was talking with him right now was the real Sebastian. That was the Sebastian he loved and now, since Sebastian knew that Kurt loved him as well, there was no reason that he would ever become as rough and mean like he used to be.

 

They would be the cute family Kurt always wanted to have. And he started to cry when he realized how beautiful their future would be.

"Do you know what's odd?", he asked Sebastian who smiled, bent forward, pulled Kurt's shirt up and kissed his stomach.

"What is odd, beautiful?"

Kurt stroked his hair and felt happier than ever before.

"I wasn't your slave when you put that collar on my neck. But ..." Sebastian looked up and Kurt smiled lovingly at him "... since you removed it ... I kinda feel like ... I am."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your reviews and nice words :) Always means the world to me. More than I can explain. 
> 
> Thanks  
> ♥  
> xo  
> aida
> 
> And because you were so nice, I wrote an OS *-* Domestic fluff and so on  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/2766920


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